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8 Patterns That Prevent Us From Building a Happy Relationship

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Tragically, many believe that stomach butterflies, attraction, and initial feelings are enough to make their relationships thrive. This isn’t always the case. And unfortunately, when they don’t feel aligned with their partners, distrust starts to grow, leaving both parties miserable.

It’s a terrible idea to get into a relationship with the assumption that you’ll change the other person. That’s almost impossible. While finding a partner, it’s advisable to look for one with a personality that complements yours.

Thanks to advancements in technology, the search is more comfortable than ever. You can find a well-groomed lady by signing up for a mail order bride – the one you can maturely resolve conflicts with.

It’s no doubt that we all dream of living happily ever after with our significant other, but achieving this is no child’s play. It’s easy to fall prey to some patterns that stir conflict in our relationships. To build a relationship that will stand the test of time, we need to consciously confront these patterns that can change our ‘happily ever after’ to a ‘happily never after.’

Ups and downs will indeed surface at different points in a relationship. However, when your relationship is fraught with misunderstandings at every turn, that’s a sign you are on the wrong path. It calls for introspection. The practices outlined below are some of the many out there that can ruin relationships:

1.  Treating Your Needs as Less Important

Firstly, you should always be your priority. This doesn’t mean you should never compromise to fit in your partner’s to-dos, but over-comprising isn’t advisable.  When you always make room so that the other can have their way at the expense of your joy, you’ll eventually burn yourself out. It will help if you iron this out with your partner. They are not mind-readers and may never tell that you are feeling overburdened if you don’t tell them yourself.

2.  Obsessively Trying to “Fix” Them

We are flawed beings, and you’ll be making a futile effort trying to get rid of your partner’s shortcomings. If anything, I’ve learned from my relationships with people that people can’t change unless they want the change for themselves. Continually trying to correct their annoying traits will only make them feel like a broken toy. Nobody appreciates being treated as if something is wrong with them. Instead of dwelling on these flaws, learn to appreciate your partner for their positive characteristics.

3.  Making a Fuss About Past Mistakes

Keeping a reference book for every misstep your partner made is unreasonable and toxic. While this might serve as a back-up in winning some arguments, it impairs trust. In the same light, bringing up a past misdoing after you had claimed to forgive is evident that you never forgave in the first place, and you aren’t forgiving. In simple terms, you are one step to ending with a ruined relationship you engineered.

4.  Putting up a Defense Mechanism

It’s prevalent among humans to put up defenses when confronted with their wrongs. Nothing ever gets resolved from lashing out at the one you care about the most. Instead, the issues will keep lingering and will gradually weaken the bond between you and your loved one. “You left the toilet seat up”, “You didn’t get rid of the used paper towel,” and other avoidable arguments can be skipped altogether. Learn to listen to your partner attentively. This entails paying close attention to the issues they’re highlighting.

5.  Rebuffing During an Argument

During a heated argument, the urge to shut our partners out is usually at its peak. We just want them to shut up, and so we pick up our smartphones while they talk to make them feel like they are babbling. This is a very disrespectful relationship behavior that ends in aggravating the situation. Instead of resorting to this, it’s best to tell them to give you a little space so you can be in a better frame of mind to talk.

6.  Clinginess

If you do not learn to spoil yourself silly when you can and enjoy your company, your partner might never fill that hole. You’d find yourself depending on them to complete you, and when your needs aren’t fulfilled, you will feel neglected and frustrated. While your partner may never show that they feel too tasked, it’s a whole lot of pressure. Your relationship shouldn’t feel like a job with strenuous daily tasks to complete. Instead, it should be your fountain of solace where you get to unburden and recharge.

7.   Being Adamant About Your Decisions

Making rigid decisions always makes your partner feel invalidated, and gives the impression that their opinion doesn’t count. While your decision may look like it would yield the best result, try to view things from your partner’s perspective. Instead of rolling your eyes or making a sarcastic joke about their opinion, try to actively listen as the former leads to resentment from their end.

8.  Feeling Too Relaxed

It’s great to get comfortable around your partner, but it’s also detrimental to let yourself go slack in a relationship. This is because you often become less conscious, losing the spice and your authenticity that brought about the union in the first place. The relationship eventually starts losing its spark, becoming dull.

Bio

Jamie Polsters is an expert online relationship coach. In the past 15 years, he has helped people looking to find love and meet their life partners. He has also brought stability to many deteriorating relationships while working at YourMailOrderBride.

Louis Philip was born in Greece, raised in Germany, educated in England and now resides in Canada. He has been writing since learning to read. He had published and has appeared in anthologies.

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Education

Puthuppally bypoll: Meet Chandy Oommen who broke father Oommen Chandy’s record

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Puthupally Bypoll News: In the Keralan constituency of Puthuppally, Chandy Oommen of the Congress could very easily beat his father’s previous record of 33,255 votes.
Chandy Oommen, the late Congress leader Oommen Chandy’s son, won the byelection for the Puthuppally assembly seat in Kerala on Friday by a margin of more than 36,000 votes.

Shashi Tharoor, a member of the Congress, campaigned at Kottayam for the party’s candidate and Chandy Oommen, son of former chief minister of Kerala Oommen Chandy. Chandy Oommen, son of former Kerala governor Oommen Chandy, and Congress MP Shashi Tharoor during Chandy Oommen’s election campaign in Kottayam, ahead of the Puthuppally assembly constituency by-elections. (PTI)

Since the first round, the opposition Congress-UDF candidate has gained a definite advantage; in contrast, Jaick C. Thomas, the candidate for the ruling LDF, has never been able to take the lead in any rounds. Chandy Oommen may probably beat his father’s record of 33,255 votes in the district, which the late Congress leader held for more than 50 years while representing Puthuppally in the state assembly.

On September 5, elections were held to fill the seat that Oommen Chandy’s death left empty.

Chandy Oommen, who is he?

Chandy Oommen, who was born in Puthuppally, Kottayam district, in March 1986, graduated from Loyola School in 1992 and earned a BA with honors and an MA in history from the prestigious St Stephen’s College in New Delhi.

From 2006 to 2007, he served as the college students’ union’s president. Chandy earned his LLB from Delhi University and LLM in constitutional law at Christ University in Bengaluru after completing his post-graduate studies in 2015–16.

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Scaler Academy: Supported 3. Chandy Oommen finished his LLM in criminology at the National Law University, New Delhi, in 2016, following the completion of a summer course at the London School of Economics. He is a practicing attorney who also teaches as an adjunct professor at Vivekananda Institute of Professional Studies in Delhi and Amity University.

Since his college days, Chandy Oommen, 37, has been a part of the Congress’ organizational structure. He is currently a member of the Kerala Pradesh Congress Committee (KPCC) and the chairman of the national outreach cell of the Youth Congress.

In 2013, Chandy Oommen served as the Youth Congress’ state secretary. Additionally, he had taken part in the Bharat Jodo Yatra from Kashmir to Kanyakumari, which was led by Rahul Gandhi. But because of his father’s illness, he had to abandon the padyatra in the middle.

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Drugs

Danny Masterson sentenced to 30 years to life for two rapes

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Danny Masterson, a US actor, was found guilty of raping two women and was given a sentence of 30 years to life in jail.

At the time of his offenses in the early 2000s, Masterson was a cast member of the TV show That ’70s Show.

Masterson, 47, was accused of avoiding responsibility by relying on his fame as a famous Scientologist, according to the prosecution.

Before imposing a sentence, Judge Charlaine Olmedo enabled the victims of his acts to read impact statements in court.

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Leah Remini, a well-known former Scientologist and actress, was present at the court on Thursday and consoled the women before and after they gave their testimony.

US media stated that one of the women remarked, “I wish I had reported him to the police earlier.”

I’m sorry, another woman said to Masterson. I can no longer bear your illness, according to Reuters.

Masterson didn’t say anything at all during the hearing.

His wife, Bijou Phillips, was spotted in court sobbing as the judge pronounced his sentence—the harshest penalty permitted.

After the initial jury was unable to reach a verdict in 2022, Masterson underwent a retrial and was found guilty in May. After being found guilty, Masterson was placed under jail because he posed a flight risk.

Three women who said he had sexually assaulted them at his Hollywood home between 2001 and 2003—during the height of his television fame—led to the actor’s conviction.

He gave them drugs before assaulting them, according to testimony presented to the jury.

Of his three accusers, he was found guilty of rape by two of them. A mistrial was declared over the third accuser’s allegations, and the prosecution stated they have no plans to retry the case.

In a statement provided to BBC News, Alison Anderson, a lawyer for two of the victims, said that the ladies “have displayed tremendous strength and bravery, by coming forward to law enforcement and directly participating in two grueling criminal trials.”

These brave women helped hold a cruel sexual predator accountable today “despite persistent harassment, obstruction, and intimidation,” she said.

Prosecutors claimed throughout the trial that the Church of Scientology had assisted in covering up the assaults, a claim that the group has vehemently refuted.

Both Masterson and all three of his accusers were Scientologists at the time of the attacks. Many of the women claimed it took them years to come forward because Church of Scientology leaders allegedly told them not to call the police about the rape.

Prosecutors claim that Scientology leaders threatened one survivor with losing her membership unless she agreed to a non-disclosure agreement and took a $400,000 (£320,000) payment.

Judge Olmedo permitted discussion of the theology and practices of Scientology during the trial, which infuriated the group.

The Church of Scientology said there was “not a scintilla of evidence supporting the scandalous allegations that the Church harassed the accusers” in a statement following the verdict in May.

Leah Remini, an actress, has a reputation for being a vocal opponent of religion.
SOURCE OF IMAGE: GETTY IMAGES
picture caption
Leah Remini, an actress, has been vocal in her criticism of the Church of Scientology and is shown here during a movie screening.
One woman testified in court on Thursday about being rejected by her mother, a Scientologist who is still active.

According to her account, “She texted me and told me to never contact her again,” as quoted by the LA Times.

She had told me beforehand that she wanted Danny Masterson to be imprisoned for what he had done to me, but not at the expense of her religion.

Another woman claimed that the Church of Scientology had treated her unfairly ever since she spoke out.

“For almost seven years now, the cult of Scientology has terrorized, harassed, and invaded my privacy daily since the week I came forward to police,” she claimed, adding, “But I don’t regret it.”

At the height of the #MeToo movement in 2017, Masterson was accused of rape for the first time. He refuted the charges and insisted that all of the interactions were consensual.

After a three-year investigation by the Los Angeles Police Department, charges were filed. Due to insufficient evidence and the passing of the statute of limitations, prosecutors decided not to press charges in two other cases.

Jessica Barth, who established Voices in Action in the wake of the #MeToo movement, also attended Thursday’s sentence.

One of the women who accuse scandalized Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein of assault was Ms. Barth. Her nonprofit promotes reporting of abuse and encourages others to do the same.

According to a Los Angeles court official, the judge rejected Masterson’s defense team’s plea for a new trial prior to the hearing.

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Law

Jawan box office collection Day 1: Shah Rukh Khan film likely to open at ₹75 cr, as per early estimates

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Few people would have predicted that the record-breaking opening day attendance of Shah Rukh Khan’s spy thriller Pathaan earlier this year would be quickly exceeded. According to early predictions, Shah Rukh’s own action film Jawan might possibly succeed, according to a report from Sacnilk.com. (See also: In most of his films, Shah Rukh Khan flawlessly blends the personal and the political; Jawan is not one of them.)

Jawan, Shah Rukh Khan’s newest movie, is probably going to surpass Pathaan.
New movie starring Shah Rukh Khan Pathaan will probably lose to Jawan.

There are preliminary estimations.
According to the source, Jawan’s domestic box office debut on September 7 is predicted to bring in roughly 75 crore across the three languages of Hindi, Tamil, and Telugu. This is merely a selection from Day 1, which also happens to be a holiday because of Janmashtami and falls on a Thursday. Before the first Monday arrives, it is expected to have a fantastic run on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

Statistics & facts
According to the same survey, the Hindi version had a 46% first day occupancy rate. The movie outperformed Pathaan on Day 1 with ticket sales of 14 lakh.

A long weekend was also enjoyed by Jawan vs. Pathaan Pathaan, which debuted on January 25. To have a successful run at the box office, it had Republic Day, the national holiday, on Thursday, the following Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

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