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Forget about Grinch, CDC claims you’re not allowed to sing at the Holiday Festivities

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Forget about Grinch, CDC claims you're not allowed to sing at the Holiday Festivities
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Who thought we would all skip the days when our government would warn about the risks of frozen turkeys exploding in the fryers before the holidays?

Instead, the B-roll displays of boiling hot peanut oil from steel boilers, which are normally commonplace this time of year have been replaced by a more novel hysteria: COVID-19.

Coming to a family dining room near you are ridiculous, fun-filled, anti-scientific rules that ruined your favorite restaurant, now updated for home use in the form of Centers for Disease Control and Avoiding Holiday Guides launched on Wednesday—just in time to spoil Thanksgiving.

Besides advising you to forget to see your relatives rather than the people you’ve been looking at in quarantine for the past nine months, the CDC advises that everyone you’re mixed with sits the appropriate 6 feet apart while wearing masks and preventing stuff like touching, using the same serving utensils, engaging with dogs, and even singing.

In order to keep coronavirus at low risk, the CDC advises organizing a ‘virtual dinner and exchanging meals with friends and relatives,’ organizing outdoor dinners or opening windows in small indoor spaces (the top half of the country would enjoy cooling).

Yeah, please don’t forget the holidays are not a time to sit. “Gatherings that last longer are more dangerous than shorter gatherings,” the CDC reminds us.

“Being within 6 feet of someone who has COVID-19 for a combined period of 15 minutes or more raises the likelihood of becoming ill and needs 14 days of quarantine.”

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So, while you’re in the same general vicinity and don’t contact while frostbite sets in it’s totally important that you don’t do something that might look remotely like a family party.

“Encourage guests to stop singing or crying, particularly indoors,” the CDC advises. “Keep the music rate low so that people don’t have to yell or speak clearly to be heard.”

Are you going to meet the CDC requirements for holiday gatherings?

While it’s funny to see the CDC as Dr. Suess’ Christmas-ruing titular character of How Grinch Stole Christmas,” the truth is even darker: these rules for how you handle your holiday celebrations in your own home are more proof of tyrannical government overreach.

Political commentator Dave Rubin summarised the suggestions as well and shared how he will manage the holidays.

Rubin expressed how the government is now going to tell us who should serve the food in our home, and how close we have to sit down with each other and that we have to keep the windows open,” along with the rest of the collection of crazy items” in a clip he tweeted the same day the guidelines were released.

“I know, I’m a radical freedom guy, a true extremist here,” he said. “I guess you should find out what to do in your house and how you’re going to celebrate holidays, because these people are completely ridiculous and they want to manipulate you.”

Rubin, a native of California, approached Gov. Gavin Newsom, Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti, and the CDC with a defiant message: “I’m going to have everyone here and we’re going to eat openly, and we’re going to speak and sing, and I’m not going to ask one person to represent anyone.”

“Everyone is going to touch the spoon. This is how we’re going to do it. You can’t control us, you madmen,” Rubin said.

Coronavirus lockdowns have continued for the entirety of 2020 with numerous households refusing to see elderly elders in nursing homes, drive or even attend school or church in certain places.

Currently, the government is attempting to instruct Americans how to host and attend holiday celebrations, power-drinks from months of frightened civilians who comply with their draconian directives (irrespective of riots).

Their strategies, though are small, and just like the Grinch saw the residents of Whoville basking in Christmas joy amid their best attempts, the festivities will continue—just be on the lookout for those turkey fryers that are bursting.

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