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Divorce – When Child Access is Denied



Child access, sometimes referred to as visitation, can prove to be very challenging for divorced or separated parents. Children are always best served when both parents act reasonably and civilly toward each other and realize that, whatever they think of one another, their children benefit most by having two loving and concerned adults in their lives even after divorce. Cooperation by both parents is critical in making sure that each has enough quality time with the children to maintain a healthy relationship despite the divorce.

But what about when a divorce is so bitter that it causes one parent to have so much resentment towards the other that the best interests of the children take second place to inflicting pain on the other parent. How can the so-called “access parent” have his or her access rights enforced? The answer is not straightforward.

When separation agreements or divorce orders, give one parent the right to “liberal”, “reasonable”, or “generous” access is nearly impossible to get a court to enforce it when the “custodial” parent or parent with “primary care” refuses to cooperate. When the access parent takes such a complaint to court the result is almost always a change to more specific access, one based on a fixed schedule. The reason is obvious. Words such as “reasonable” are just too vague to be easily enforced. Such terms are ideal when they allow to reasonable parents all the flexibility they need to act in the best interests of their children. But they are worse than useless when one or both parents set about to exploit the intentional vagueness. Changing the access terms in the divorce order to a fixed schedule allows a divorce judge to have a better idea of whether there actually has been a breach of the terms or not.

Even when scheduled access is denied a court is more likely to reissue a slightly revised divorce order and give a stern warning than it is to penalize the custodial parent in some meaningful way. It is only once the denial of access becomes chronic that a divorce judge will be likely to resort to sterner measures.

This is unfortunate of course, because it means that the parent who has been denied access has to incur the financial and emotional costs of repeated trips to court before a judge will actually “do something” about the other parent’s refusal to abide by the terms of access. Also, repeated court appearances take time, and meanwhile the children are being denied the opportunities the access is supposed to provide to build and maintain a strong relationship with the access parent.

The reason judges are so reluctant to act quickly and decisively in response to complaints about denial of access is because the responses available are usually far from attractive. Finding the custodial parent in contempt of the divorce order, can result in a fine or even imprisonment. A fine simply deprives the family, most importantly the children, of some usually much-needed money. Imprisonment obviously denies them their primary caregiver and is likely to exacerbate the already tense relationship between the parents.

Tweaking the amount of child support paid is an unattractive option, because, presumably, the amount previously set was determined to be in the best interests of the children. Allowing the aggrieved access parent to pay less or withhold payment simply denies the children necessary financial resources.

Another option is to order some form of makeup access but this amply begs the question of how the makeup access can be enforced. Appointing someone to be an access facilitator can help. However, unless the parents can agree on someone who will act free of charge, it is likely to be fairly expensive. Also, disputes between a parent and the access facilitator are likely to end up back before the judge.

A stiff, but usually effective, response is for the court to reverse the roles of the parents so that the children go into the primary care of the person who had been the access parent. Now it becomes the access parent’s responsibility to ensure that the children are provided with appropriate access with the other parent. This places the respective shoes on the other feet. Sometimes the mere threat of this is sufficient to bring about a change in the access deniers attitude. But the threat must be real.

The problem with this last approach is that, presumably, the roles of custodial and access parents were originally made because that was what was in the best interests of the children. The court must determine that the denial of access is so severe that it warrants. The role reversal, despite the other factors, which had originally led the court, or the parties themselves, to make the original assignment of roles.

Sometimes, when the denial of access is significant, when the change of roles is inappropriate, and when the adverse effects of the ongoing dispute are taking a toll on the children, the divorce court has to seriously consider reducing or even canceling access altogether. Of course this is totally unfair to the aggrieved access parent, and unjustly rewards the parent guilty of denying access, these considerations are secondary to the best interests of the children. Therefore, in some situations, it is an option, a divorce court will seriously consider.

The best course of action for a parent whose access is being denied by the other parent is to take the high road. This means making sure his or her own behavior is beyond reproach. It also means being reasonable, patient, and long-suffering and doing everything possible to minimize the adverse effects of the dispute on the children. However it does not mean to simply lie down and take it. But before you take an access dispute before a divorce court you need to think long and hard about what you are going to ask the divorce court to do to enforce it. It is up to you to convince the court that your remedy is in the best interests of the children.

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Factors to Consider When Setting Up an Enterprise




Setting up an efficient enterprise does not come by chance. It involves a lot of input or factors. Proper consideration and planning of these factors can help one to be able to set up a very industrious enterprise. Some of the factors that merit serious consideration are discussed below.

1. Capital: This refers to the funds or money available for the establishment of the enterprise. The entrepreneur should have a start-up capital as well as working capital to help the enterprise to stand on its feet. The start-up capital is the capital that is used for the purchase of tools, equipment, materials and machinery to start the business operation.

On the other hand, the working capital is the capital used in the day-to-day running of the business. It caters for the salary of workers, transportation costs, and purchase of new materials for productions, operation costs, maintenance of machinery and all the other things that ensures the smooth flow of business activities. The entrepreneur should have a sound financial bedrock to enable him set up and run the enterprise.

2. Room or Space for Workshop: The entrepreneur should also search for an appropriate room or space for the workshop. The space should be large enough to accommodate all the equipment, tools and machinery as well as the entire work force. It should also allow free movement from one area of the workshop to the other.

Moreover, the room should be well ventilated and well lit to make the execution of business activities very smooth. The space should be located at a good spot where tools, materials and machinery can be well stored without any hazards internally or externally.

3. Skilled Labour: The working force or labour of the enterprise refers to the people who are employed to work in the enterprise. The appointment of these people should be strictly based on their technical expertise or skill that can be utilized for the success of the enterprise.

The entrepreneur should seriously consider this factor otherwise he will end up paying people who do not in any way contribute to the generation of funds for the enterprise. Qualified personnel should be employed and they must possess excellent traits that can positively affect the business activity. Never should persons employed to work in the enterprise be based on sympathy or family grounds. Doing this would eventually collapse the business enterprise.

4. Availability of raw materials: The entrepreneur should ensure that he has a sustained supplier of the raw materials for his enterprise. He should have a large stock of these raw materials that can sustain him for a fairly long period of time. This would not cause the business activity to cease or halt when the raw materials are very scarce. He must have reliable suppliers of his raw materials. If possible he can even initiate the production of his own raw materials.

5. Transport and Communication: The entrepreneur should consider the means of conveying his products from the enterprise to consumers and shops. The roads from and to the workshop should be well constructed or accessible to ensure easy transportation of products. Means of conveyance of products such as vehicles can be made available to aid in transportation.

Communication lines must be readily accessible to prospective clients who might want to call to propose business transactions. Telephones must be installed in the enterprise as well as in all its departments. This would ensure the smooth flow of information, enhancing productivity.

6. Nearness to market or customers: The location of the enterprise should be near to prospective buyers or customers. It should be closer to the market. This would promote and maximize the sale of the products.

7. Selecting a Business name: The entrepreneur should select an appropriate business name for the enterprise. It should be attractive, easy to remember and must have a direct bearing or full description of what the enterprise produces. The business name should be unique and original.

8. Registration requirements: The one who desires to set up an enterprise should endeavor to meet all the registration requirements. For example, he has to register the business at the Business Registry Department. He has to see to it that the enterprise together with all its resources is insured.

He must also pay all his taxes and have the name of his business in all the legal documents and books of the country. This would spare him of any future business close down.

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What to Expect From Therapy




If you are entering therapy for the first time you may be feeling a little anxious. After all, you don’t really know what to expect. You may have been in therapy before, but dropped out early, because you didn’t know what to expect. Many people enter therapy hoping to find quick and easy solutions to their difficulties.

That expectation is usually too high. So, what can you expect from therapy?

You can expect to feel a little awkward at first. It takes time to establish a trusting relationship with a therapist. After a session or two you should be feeling more comfortable.

Be prepared to answer quite a few questions. Remember the therapist must gather information to fully understand you and your situation. One question you will hear a lot is, “And how do you feel about that?” So, be prepared to talk about your feelings.

Don’t be surprised if you are asked to complete homework assignments or read books. Therapy is less effective if you only concentrate on your issues and concerns once a week for an hour. Doing the specific activities assigned by the therapist speeds up the time it takes to work out your problems.

Therapy can be very painful. Expect to be emotional in session. It is normal to be tearful and/or angry. You will be talking about situations and people that have hurt you. You may need to talk about your past. You might be discussing things that you are ashamed of. This is an emotionally charged process.

Therapy is hard work. It requires time and patience. You might be tempted to quit right before any real change or breakthroughs happen. We are all naturally resistant to change.

Others may resist your changes and growth as well. Don’t be discouraged by this, they need time to adjust. As you become more healthy and balanced you too may need time to adjust. This may be uncomfortable at first as it can feel very unfamiliar.

If you stick to your commitment to therapy it will change your life. Be prepared to feel some loss. It is a normal part of change.

Therapy is a journey. Expect it to be like any other journey with roads that go up, down, and twist. There will be some smooth sailing and some rough seas. When you work hard and stick to the course, therapy can get you to your destination.

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Divine Soul Purpose Signal




Divine Signals and Messages

Our soul is different from spirit, and often confused. We are given divine signals and messages. Our spirit is the connection to our higher source, where answers will be heard with actions to be taken. Our soul is the expression of how we will live in this world, because we are a body.

Living with the soul is a natural way of living in the world. Your soul is being expressed through your everyday experiences. So today you can start to become the person you are most seeking, making you life more fulfilling, living with soul will help you to become more alive and purposeful.

When the search for spiritual connection and it works well, it brings great relief. You want this experience to last forever. All it takes it a few minutes a day to remember. Your soul will show up more as it becomes better connected to higher source.

Connect to your Higher Source

Give yourself a few minutes and try this exercise to connect to your higher source for answers of your soul purpose

I recognise there is one power and presence in the universe. God the good, omnipotent. I am one with this power and presence of God. Therefore, I claim my perfect divine signal and divine message to come to me now with divine order and timing.

I call upon the Holy Father to give me a divine signal and message. Release all seeming blockages that have prevented me from receiving my perfect divine signal and message now. Release and let go f all ideas that I am separate from God or that God is out of reach. In doing so, I accept and welcome with open arms my perfect divine contact with God now. Thank you, God, and SO IT IS.

Once you make contact with your higher source take a few deep breaths

I now let go of the outer environment and go deeper to the physical level

Take three deep breaths

I now relax and become aware of my conscious mind

Take three deep breaths

I now relax to the level of my subconscious mind

Take three deep breaths

Connect with your higher source

Ask for the signal

Take three deep breaths

I call upon Holy Wisdom to give me your divine signal now. Feed it stronger feed it stronger feed it stronger

Take a few deep breaths

Let go and Let God

Recognise and verify my signal

Once recognised a clear signal than say aloud:

Holy Wisdom is the signal that I have identified as being my signal? Then please feed it stronger to me now?

Take three deep breaths

Ask for a message and say aloud

“Holy Wisdom please tell me (ask the questions you are most seeking answers to) now”

IT is critical to ASK for direction of your soul purpose.

  • Why am I holding back?
  • What is it that I need to do?
  • When do you show up in my life?
  • Is there a message that I need to understand?
  • When will I live my truth?
  • It there anything else you would like to say?
  • What would you like for me to do?
  • How will this look like in my life?
  • Is there anything else you would like to say?

Let go and let be

Take another deep breath

Do nothing and less than nothing. Do not try to get a message have a neutral attitude and give up completely.

Give Thanks and Gratitude

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