Connect with us

News

Dear Abby: Help, my husband still calls his grown daughters by baby names!

Published

on

Danny V ‘s Thursday Pickorama

Dear Abby: My husband and I have been happily married for 10 years. This is a second marriage for both of us. We don’t have children together, but my husband has grown daughters in their 50s from a previous marriage. Generally, we have good relationships with each other.

My problem is, my husband still calls — and refers to — his daughters by their childhood nicknames, “Peanut” and “Poopsie.” They reciprocate by calling him by silly names instead of “Dad” or “Father.” Seeing these adult women reverting to childhood drives me up a wall. They talk and act like little girls and use baby talk with each other, too.

I have shared with my husband more than once that this “innocent” nickname game keeps his daughters stuck in old childhood patterns, while keeping other family members out of the conversation. How would you suggest I handle this?

— Feeling Like an Outsider

Dear “Outsider”: Because you have shared with your husband “more than once” that you feel sidelined when his daughters do this, and nothing has changed, try this: Arrange to visit with friends or schedule an activity you enjoy while your husband’s “girls” visit their daddy. If you do, it may be less frustrating than trying to change them.

Dear Abby: My husband and I have been happily married (with some ups and downs) for 30 years. We are in our 50s and have two grown children. We enjoy an active love life except for one thing. He refuses to kiss me passionately before or during lovemaking. When I met him 35 years ago, he was the best kisser! Kissing helps me to get in the mood, but he says we’re “too old” for that.

I have talked to him about it, to no avail. My first thought was that my breath was bad, but he assured me it wasn’t. Is this normal? Am I asking too much? When we’re watching a movie together, I will say to him when the actors kiss, “They’re doing it, why can’t we?” and he rolls his eyes. Should I let this go, as it seems like such a small issue?

— Kissed Off in Montana

Dear Kissed Off: Considerate couples who love each other want to give each other pleasure. That your husband would withhold something you have told him you need to enhance your intimacy is selfish. I do not think you should “let this go,” because if you would write to me about it, it ISN’T a small issue. If he can’t explain his change in behavior to you, he should explain it WITH you — in the office of a marriage and family therapist.

Dear Abby: I have been married for 45 years, but the love of my life is now in a memory care facility because of Alzheimer’s. We have always sent out greeting cards during the holidays. I’m now wondering how I should sign them this year — with both our names as usual or just my own?

— Wondering in San Diego

Dear Wondering: I vote for sending the cards out with both of your names. There will come a time when you send them from just yourself, but until his passing, his name should be included.


Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com.

google news

News

Senator says businesses bearing burden of unemployment fraud

Published

on

Senator says businesses bearing burden of unemployment fraud

Candidate for state auditor, state Sen. Diana DiZoglio is calling for “sorely needed clarity” in the effort to replenish the unemployment trust — drained during the pandemic — with businesses apparently on the hook to pay back an eye-popping $7 billion — including nearly $2 billion in fraud.

“It is important that we know precisely how much of this deficit is due to fraud and overpayment issues which, we should add, should not be up to employers to pay for,” DiZoglio, D-Methuen, wrote in a Dec. 3 letter to Gov. Charlie Baker, signed by a group of bipartisan lawmakers.

The unemployment insurance fund — which is funded through a tax on employers — may have wracked up $7 billion in debt amid an unprecedented number of claims during the coronavirus pandemic, the Department of Unemployment Assistance has said.

As much as $1.6 billion in Massachusetts unemployment benefits payouts made amid the pandemic could be fraudulent, according to the the National Conference of State Legislatures and the U.S. Department of Labor.

“Mom and pop shops are left shouldering the burden of fraudulent claims,” DiZoglio told the Herald in an interview. She is calling for a full accounting and vowed to audit the Unemployment Insurance Fund and others cashing in on pandemic relief dollars should she win the auditor’s seat.

Lawmakers have authorized bonding the Unemployment Insurance debt so that it can be spread out over 20 years and paid for through  increased fees to businesses.

But the Baker administration said last week it still doesn’t actually know how much money it will ultimately borrow to cover the cost of the unprecedented number of pandemic-era claims. The Department of Unemployment Assistance recently reported to the Treasury a $2.9 billion positive balance, “creating tremendous uncertainty” amid a continued lack of transparency, DiZoglio said.

google news
Continue Reading

News

Ravens starting RT Patrick Mekari leaves game vs. Steelers with hand injury, could be out a few weeks

Published

on

Ravens starting RT Patrick Mekari leaves game vs. Steelers with hand injury, could be out a few weeks

Ravens starting right tackle Patrick Mekari left in the third quarter of Sunday’s 20-19 loss to the Pittsburgh Steelers and did not return.

After the game, coach John Harbaugh said the offensive lineman could be out a few weeks.

Mekari limped off the field in the second quarter, favoring his ankle. He was replaced by Tyre Phillips, but then returned the next series.

But Phillips took over at right tackle later in the third quarter, and the team said Mekari was doubtful to return with a hand injury.

Mekari injured his ankle against the Cincinnati Bengals on Oct. 24 and missed nearly a month, including two games. He returned on Nov. 21 against the Bears in Chicago and played every snap last week against the Cleveland Browns.

google news
Continue Reading

News

Dorchester fire displaces 12 people during holiday season

Published

on

Dorchester fire displaces 12 people during holiday season

Twelve people were left homeless during the holidays after a Dorchester triple-decker burned to the ground over the weekend.

Boston firefighters rushed to 383 Geneva Ave. around 8:30 p.m. Saturday for reports of “heavy fire showing,” the department said.

Crews immediately ordered a second alarm when they realized all three floors were entirely engulfed in flames. The cause of the fire is still under investigation.

Firefighters rescued a cat, Simba, as the fire tore through the home. Firefighters were able to reunite the cat with his family, officials said.

Companies knocked down the heavy fire just after 9 p.m. but were continuing to douse hot spots to keep them from flaring up into the night on Saturday, the department said. Detail companies remained on scene to monitor the building.

Six adults and six children were displaced in the fire and the Red Cross responded to assist at the scene and to offer assistance finding housing, officials said.

Video of the fire shared on the department’s Twitter page shows flames shooting up the side of the building to the roof line.

Two firefighters suffered minor injuries and were taken to local hospitals.

The Geneva Avenue fire was one of several blazes Boston firefighters fought to knock down over the past several days. Firefighters also responded to three-alarm blazes at 1063 Washington St. on Friday and 95 Washington St. on Dec. 1.

google news
Continue Reading

Trending