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The 4 Stages of the Counseling Process: What Every Youth Counselor Should Know

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There is a natural progression that takes place within the context of the helping relationship. This process enables you and the person you are working with to build a relationship, assess the situation, set goals and come up with a plan to bring about your desired results. This progression is known as the counseling process. There are four stages of the counseling process. They are: developing a relationship, making an informed assessment, establishing mutually agreed upon goals and objectives and developing an implementation plan.

Phase 1. Developing A Relationship

In order to develop positive helping relationships with youth, you’ve got to be able to connect with them. This can only happen when youth are made to feel like you genuinely care about their well-being and that you understand where they are coming from. It’s about behaving in a way that demonstrates the core conditions of genuineness, respect and empathy.

To develop solid relationships with youth, you need to create a safe environment where young people will feel comfortable enough to open up to you and talk to you about anything that is on their minds. You also need to help youth see that despite their circumstances they have strengths. In short, you should start things off from a strengths-based perspective.

Questions to Consider When Trying to

Develop A Relationship

· In what ways can you build better relationships with the youth in your program?

· If there are youth who are not actively engaged, what can you do differently to engage them?

· If a youth is resistant, what steps can you take to reduce resistance?

· What worked in the past with resistant youth?

· How do you know when you’ve built a solid relationship with a youth? Could you use these indicators to strengthen your relationships with other youth?

Phase 2. Making An Informed Assessment

An informed assessment happens when both you and the youth gather information in order to figure out what’s “really” going on so that you can assess what needs to happen next in order to change the situation for the better or build up the youth’s coping skills to better deal with a problematic situation. The first step in making an assessment is to find out if change is necessary, and if it is what needs to happen for change to take place. If you have determined that change is necessary, then the next step is to figure out what needs to change. Is it a behavior? An attitude? A situation?

A good assessment can provide an opportunity for a young person to see how his/her behavior or attitude might be contributing to an undesirable or unhealthy situation. Assessment is an ongoing process. You need to regularly check in with your youth to see how things are going. Reassessments enable you to ensure that you and the youth are on the right track.

How do you gather information in order to make an informed assessment? You can gather information in a number of ways: talking with youth, observing the youth’s behavior and interactions, discussions with other people who are involved in the young person’s life, and reading any documented information on the young person. Keep in mind that when utilizing someone else’s verbal or written report as a source of background information, you run the risk of subjecting yourself to their biases and assumptions.

Points to Keep In Mind When Making An Assessment

· Be aware of your biases and how they impact on the assessments you make.

· Involve youth in the assessment process.

· Don’t rely on one single source to make an assessment, gather as much information as you can from a variety of sources.

· Don’t automatically label a behavior as dysfunctional because you don’t understand it, or it is not germane to your culture.

· Make sure to point out a young person’s strengths even when addressing problematic behavior.

Phase 3. Establishing Mutually Agreed Upon Goals and Objectives

Why is it important to establish “mutually agreed” upon goals and objectives? Because if a young person is in agreement with the goals then he/she is more likely to follow through on them. When a youth is actively involved in the goal setting process and is in agreement with the goals, then he/she is more inclined to take ownership of the goals. What are goals? Goals are broad statements that identify what you want to accomplish. Think of goals as the end result that you are trying to achieve. While goals are broad statements that identify what you want to accomplish overall, objectives are the measurable steps that you take to achieve your goals. For example if you have a goal that states, “youth will be better able to manage her anger.” One of your objectives might be, “youth will recognize emotional triggers that lead to angry outbursts and use positive, self-talk to calm herself down.” Your objectives should always be concrete and measurable. They should also be derived from the overall goal.

Questions to Consider When Developing

Goals and Objectives

· What do you and the young person want to achieve?

· How are you going to achieve it?

· When do you want to achieve your stated goal?

· What obstacles do you anticipate?

· How will you address these obstacles?

· How will you use to measure and monitor progress?

· Are your goals realistic?

Phase 4. Implementation Plan

The implementation plan is a plan that you and the youth work on together. It is designed to prevent, intervene, or address unhealthy behaviors and practices. The implementation plan identifies who will perform the activities, where the activities will occur, how frequently they will occur, how they will be carried out and when they will be carried out. Implementation activities are designed to help individuals re-think risky behavior, work through problematic issues, address unhealthy lifestyles practices, learn new skills and build strengths. Implementation activities can include: counseling, crisis intervention, training and education, supportive services, concrete services and constructive use of free time.

As you can see, each stage of the counseling process builds upon the former. As you move through each stage, you will come to realize that it takes patience and practice to counsel youth effectively, but if you are committed to the goal you’ll do just fine. You may not feel completely confident in your ability as a counselor, but as you expand your knowledge base, gain more experience and strengthen your helping skills, you will become a more effective counselor.

Copyright © 2006 by Cassandra Mack

Excerpted from Cassandra Mack’s book, “Smart Moves That Successful Youth Workers Make”

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EML to PST Converter to Know How to Open Windows Live Mail Files into Outlook

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eml convert 2 pst

Windows Live Mail is a default email client of Windows Vista operating system. However, Microsoft discontinued it and does not provide support. Due to this, various users forced to switch their data from Windows Live Mail to any other platform. What else is better than MS Outlook? It emerged as one of the most popular email client from the few decades. We will later dices about MS Outlook min details.

Most of the users find difficulty in exporting Windows Live Mail data in Outlook because both the email client support different file formats i.e. EML and PST respectively. Therefore, it is not possible to directly open Windows Live Mail file in Outlook unless you don’t know the right way. In this blog, we will tell you all possible ways to solve your query how to open Windows Live Mail files into Outlook and the efficient way to EML to PST conversion

Professional Solution to Open Windows Live Mail Files into Outlook

The professional solution is the best solution available to migrate all EML files to Outlook PST. It provides you direct solution with guaranteed success. You can move multiple EML files from Windows Live Mail to Outlook in just one go. It provides you solution of how to open Windows Live Mail files into Outlook with 100% accuracy and integrity. You can move EML files to Outlook all versions such as 2019, 2016, 2013, 2010, 2007 and 2003. Follow below mentioned steps to understand how the software works:

Step 1: Download CubexSoft EML to PST Converter in your system.

Step 2: Now load your file in the software by either clicking Select File or Select Folder option.

Step 3: Click Export button and choose Outlook PST in select saving option.

Step 4: Select location to save the PST file and then tap on the convert button.

Step 5: Finally a pop-up Windows open with a message “Saving Completed Successfully”. Click Ok to end the process.

Manual Method to Open Windows Live Mail EML File in PST

Warning: It is recommended to take backup of Windows Live Mail data before performing the steps. A single mistake may result in data loss.

Follow below mentioned steps to open EML files in Outlook PST:

Step 1: Open Windows Live Mail and MS Outlook in the machine.

Step 2: In Windows Live Mail, go to File tab and choose Export option.

Step 3: Now select messages from Open list.

Step 4: Next choose Microsoft Exchange and click Next to proceed further.

Step 5: A pop-up Windows opens with a message “All Email Will Be Exported to Microsoft Outlook or Microsoft Exchange”. Hit Ok button.

Step 6: Choose the folder which you want to export and then hit Ok button.

Step 7: Finally click on Finish button to end the process.

The manual method to move EML files from Windows Live Mail to Outlook does not provide guaranteed solution. The solution differ with each Outlook version. It is also mandatory to install both MS Outlook and Windows Live Mail in same machine.

Final Words

In this blog, we have discussed about two different ways to solve your query how to open Windows Live Mail files into Outlook. You can use both the method to open Windows Live Mail data in Outlook PST. However we recommend you to use professional solution instead of manual method for risk-free conversion. Download demo edition of EML Converter to know how the software works.

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What Does It Mean When A Husband Says He Had An Affair Because He Felt Empty?

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If I’m being honest, I’m not sure that any of my husband’s excuses for an affair were going to ring true for me, especially at first. When you are dealing with the shock of an affair, you are defensive. You are angry. So when your husband starts will the defenses which indicate that something was missing in his life, it’s very easy to reject these outright.

Some of us will debate that anything was wrong. And some of us will accept that something was wrong, but will stop short of believing that the flaw was any sort of excuse. Sometimes, it is very hard to understand what he means when he gives you vague terms as excuses. One such excuse is the description of feeling “empty.”

Someone might say: “I honestly could not believe it when I caught my husband having an affair. I never thought that he was the type and I thought that our marriage was good. My husband has always been disappointed in friends who have cheated on their wives. So I never could have anticipated this. At first, he refused to talk about any aspect of the affair. He would get angry and quiet. His face would turn red. I honestly think he’s a little bit embarrassed. In the past week, I’ve been very clear about telling him that I expect answers. And that if I don’t get them, our marriage might be over. So finally be blurted out that he just felt ’empty’ and this his eyes got all teary. I guess he thought I would feel pity for him, but honestly, all this confession did was to make me feel anger and a loss of respect. What a cry baby. What a whiner. My life isn’t always great but you don’t see me going out and ruining my life and cheating on people. What the heck does this even mean anyway – ’empty?’ How does one feel empty? It’s just ridiculous to me.”

We all know the literal definition of empty. The dictionary definition is “containing nothing. Not filled or occupied.” But the emotional definition of empty is a little more difficult to grasp. When someone says they feel empty, it means that they feel flat. They don’t feel fulfilled. They feel as though their life lacks purpose.

Frankly, I’ve heard a lot of depressed people say that they feel empty. Because when you are down emotionally, it is easy to focus on a feeling of lack.

Even if your husband is being completely honest with you (and I don’t know why he would lie about this, since it’s not exactly flattering,) it doesn’t excuse his cheating. But it does indicate that he’s willing to open up. And it does give you a starting point.

Unfortunately feeling empty isn’t a very specific complaint and addressing it isn’t going to be a quick fix. You can’t just suddenly fill your husband’s emotional cup. His lack is his own. And no one else can fill him except for himself. It must come from within him.

Common Reasons For Feeling ‘Empty:’ There are many reasons people feel empty. Some are disappointed with how their life has turned out so far. Others feel that they are lacking purpose so they don’t feel that they make a difference in this world. Others feel like they are just treading water in their life without any real meaningful direction. Identifying the feelings is something that your husband is going to need to do for himself because you can’t possibly know how he feels and what he is thinking.

Good counseling can help your husband identify what is lacking and help him formulate a plan to feel better. Many people do not have the self knowledge or the ability to objectively look at themselves to see what is really happening.

The good news is that often, once the person finds their way again, they no longer have the need to seek out risky or dangerous behaviors in order to feel whole (or to feel anything for that matter.)

Feeling empty isn’t an excuse for cheating, but it is a route that many people will take. Nothing in their life makes them feel alive or brings a flush to their face. They get desperate to feel anything at all. So the affair is an attempt to get them to feel, to get them engaged again.

Of course, the better option would have been for him to have sought that feeling at home. Once more, I am not excusing his cheating. I am just speculating as to what he might be trying to express. And I want to stress that although it may be tempting to try and fix this for him, this isn’t something that anyone but him can and should address.

Certainly, you can support him. You can encourage him to seek counseling or self help. This is true even if you aren’t sure about your marriage. Whether you are angry with him or not, he is an important person in your life, and I’m sure you want him to get help for this. But you can not fill him or take away his emptiness. Only he can do that. And it’s important that he does. Because you can not give someone something that you do not have.

You can not give another person love and stability when you yourself are not feeling that internally. I hope that this article may have give you some insight on what your husband may have meant by feeling empty. By no means is an excuse, but it may be an attempt to express why he acted.

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Six Figure Mentors Review – What Does It Take To Succeed?

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I joined the SFM back in 2014. At the time it had only been running for four years. I didn’t know what to expect but I had been burned a few times online with a number of business type courses promising to help me earn money. My lack of experience back then and my desperation was partly responsible for some of my failures. But also, many courses taught tactics which were already becoming out of date.

Some of the courses I bought taught how to get your website up in the Google rankings. If you’ve ever tried this, you’ll know it isn’t easy. It was far easier 20 years ago admittedly. But now, getting ranked for your website is becoming much more difficult.

So back to The SFM. When I joined I decided I needed to start afresh and although I had learned a number of skills, I still hadn’t really made any money on the internet. With the exception of buying and selling on eBay, the other strategies I had tried just didn’t get any traction.

After joining, I was immediately impressed with the information I was getting. The “over-deliver” strategy clearly worked on me! I also benefitted by joining under someone who helped me make my first couple of high ticket sales. This happened within a few months. However, I didn’t fully understand the business system or what was involved. Although I’d made a couple of quick sales, for not much work, I hadn’t entirely been responsible for those sales. The affiliate who referred me had set up a Facebook advertising “co-op” and helped a number of people get some traction.

After my first sales, I stopped advertising and simply took the money! This seemed like a lot of money to me back then. It was a couple of thousand pounds. I now realise that I should have re-invested it back into the advertising, which is what I am doing now, now I understand the business better.

Having made an ‘early win’ gave me confidence in the business system which is one of the main selling points of what The SFM offers. It also offers top-notch training too – more so now than back in 2014 when I joined. Now, I am a member of a number of Facebook private groups which I can sit in on, and watch ‘over the shoulder’ of those who are succeeding in this business.

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t an easy business to learn. Some of my main problems have been my ‘grab it and run’ mindset and scarcity mindset which has stopped me from taking some important action steps. The SFM training program caters very well for this. In fact, one of their main strengths is undoubtably their ability to install an ideology of personal growth. Without this, you really will be fighting some internal battles as I have definitely done. This will hold you back if you don’t overcome your mental barriers to success.

It’s not for everyone either, admittedly. The business system itself is expensive and for some prohibitively so. But for anyone wanting to make full time living from the internet, I’d say The SFM is a good place to go. You’ll need to work hard and invest though, and it’s no easy ride. But it does offer something which many want – a digital business system which can be run from anywhere. The possibility of financial freedom, however far away you believe it to be.

If you only want the training, I’d say that was worth the money at the lower levels too. I had a failing kung fu school running when I joined and now it’s doing really well. I attribute that to much of the learning and understanding I have picked up from the SFM training and education platform.

You can’t really expect to earn a living though if you only join at basic level. Only by at least getting to Elite level will you be able to access the higher ticket product commissions. But if you want to learn some digital marketing and mindset skills, it’s worth the training and community even if you don’t want to make a full time career out of it. The community on its own is a hugely powerful resource and has benefitted me both personally and professionally.

After my first couple of high ticket sales, I decided to focus on blogging and the cheaper strategies of generating traffic. I simply didn’t have a budget to risk on advertising. I decided that if I got free traffic, the sales would be worth more in profit, which is true. The problem is, the strategy I used (blogging) isn’t the best one, particularly in a very competitive niche like affiliate marketing and “money-making online”. I know there are people doing well with social media marketing and other free strategies, but I didn’t go down this route.

The people who are making the real money with The SFM are those who go all in. They position themselves at the very top tier of the business system and promote the SFM themselves as partner level affiliates. This means they can earn the highest possible commissions from the business. Some products are sold at $35,000. Those at the top level can earn 40% of this in commissions, but they need to purchase the product themselves in order to have it in their ‘online store’.

There’s a lot of learning to be done too. I thought I’d make it work very quickly and be sitting on a beach counting my money. But as I persevered through the difficulties, I have changed and understood that it’s a business like anything else. It’s no magic bullet to instant riches. Just a business model with products within it that anyone can sell.

In order to put the most expensive items in your own personal online ‘shop’, you need to purchase them yourself. Reading the reviews today that I’ve found about the SFM I see a lot of scepticism. Many say it’s a scam. Well, it’s not a scam, it’s real. But it’s easier to say it’s a scam and not have to do all the work involved in making it happen. There’s plenty of people who are making it work for them, and creating amazing lifestyle businesses of their choosing.

The SFM started in 2010 and have recently partnered with Microsoft Lynda (Under the LInkedIn umbrella of companies). Microsoft Lynda now offer their own 6,500 training courses as part of the SFM curriculum.

DigitalMarketer (The world’s longest standing and most highly respected B2B and B2C marketing training company) also partnered with SFM and now offer their own training as part of the SFM curriculum.

I don’t think these companies would partner with any organisation that wasn’t providing huge value, was well established, and wasn’t 100% above board.

Since joining The SFM in 2014, I’ve seen some huge changes in myself. I’ve had to face myself and see my own limitations as stopping me move forwards within the business. Your thinking and mindset have a huge amount to do with whether you can make a success out of entrepreneurship. It’s much, much easier to discount something as a scam, than it is to look within and grow yourself alongside a business.

If I had quit on my journey, I would have missed out on a greater opportunity than I could fathom at the time. I struggled and struggled, but much of my struggle was with my lack of understanding of the business model and of my own limitations. I was programmed with a poverty mindset which viciously fought against spending money. To get into the space of knowing that I need to spend in order to earn was a huge shift in my mindset.

I’m far from the best performer in The SFM, at this time, but what I’ve learned about myself and about my inner limitations is invaluable for the rest of my life. I will continue to learn and never quit, so watch this space, you doubting sceptics out there!

For those who are thinking about joining The SFM and to do so would mean severe poverty, I’d suggest to get in a better financial position first. I scraped by and took some chances, but it’s not easy. If you are determined in this business though, there’s no reason you can’t make it happen. But if you can’t afford it, I’d suggest another program if it’s going to put you in debt.

The SFM program is more than just a sales funnel with digital products in it. It’s an “all-in-one digital business system and training platform. The goal is to make long term digital entrepreneurs who can sustain an income and thrive from the sale of products over the internet. That means there’s a whole lot of work to be done, if you’re going to make this a full time living.

It’s definitely not for the timid. Expect to be pushed, and expect some discomfort if you’re going to do what you need to make it work. Remember too that affiliate marketing is performance related. No one owes you a living! You need to take charge of yourself and your business in order to make it work! Good luck!

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