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Addiction In Search of Self – Multi-Phasic Transformation Process

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a total stranger one black day

knocked living the hell out of me –

who found forgiveness hard because

my (as it happened) self he was

– but now that friend and I are such

immortal friends the other’s each

e.e. cummings

Perls, the founder of Gestalt Therapy, writes that addiction treatment phases must embrace all aspects of life for the individual to become who he wants to be and “no cure can have lasting effect or be more than a suppression of impulses unless the alcoholic (‘adult’ suckling) progresses to the stage of biting and chewing” the unassimilated life experiences.

To this end, I have developed an MPTP approach for the treatment of addictions that is phasic, overlapping, and gender neutral. It is I/Thou relationship based, non-judgmental and stresses empowerment to transform one’s life in the desired direction. This treatment model initiates and honors awareness of “what is” in the personal, familial, and social realm. Abstinence of addictive-type behaviors is not dictated as they are considered attempts at maintaining contact with self/other/substance and as such are meaningful expressions of self-assertion. Rather, this approach exemplifies respect for the integrity of the individual and voluntary adherence to the treatment process and as such facilitates an emerging awareness of personal participation in creating destructive habits and self-defeating lifestyles and necessary emotional motivation to change. (Beisser (1970) writes that “change occurs when one becomes what he is, not when he tries to be what he is not”- the Gestalt paradoxical theory of change.

Freud recognized that the creation of defenses leading to the compulsion to repeat behaviors is an attempt to gain organismic equilibrium. When the “Self” cannot function and develop optimally, this fluid transformation of energy in the service of the individual is called a creative adjustment in Gestalt therapy, and emerges organically from the experience. Its continuation depends on environmental support and may eventually become rigidified, a habit, possibly leading into addictions. Freud called this organismic state “Seelenkrankheit”, literally translated, “soul sickness”. Adler, Horney later interpreted this concept “Seelenkrankheit” as an individual’s need to manipulate the environment to gain an illusion of control over others to maintain personal integrity and a sense of “Self” in the struggle for survival. In this spirit, addiction becomes the means in the search for a “Self”.

I have suggested that many substance overusers suffer from stunted emotional development resulting from early deprivation, neglect and other traumas. Equally often, developmental stuckness occurs at a very early age accounting for unhelpful attitudes and behaviors so prevalent in addicted adolescents and adults. Whatever the reason, they have intimate knowledge, possibly unaware, of an existence filled with pain, rage, and an inability to self-care healthily. Drug taking becomes a welcome avenue to numb pain or bring about a sense of aliveness. Thus addictive practices provide an illusion of being in control of one’s life and managing chaos while actively participating in the creation of more chaos. I often hear statements such as “If only… I could have one more binge, a better job, and a more understanding wife… then…. Or…when I have a certain income, when my back feels better, when I kill myself… then… in spite of their experiences to the contrary and the reality that these wished-for conditions are a lie.

The coach/therapist relationship has particular significance when in the presence of an addicted person struggling in the search to find his way. (For ease of writing I shall use the pronoun “he” throughout; women are of course very much included.) Not only will the client feel like “one of them”, the addict, against “us (me, Clinician)”- the I/it phenomenon, a perception many learned during previous treatment attempts, but he also feels dread given the hint of a possibility of a longed-for relationship with a caring other. This is frightening at best and a daunting commitment for both clinician/client. However, from the perspective of the MPTP with its sub-theme of “Addiction: In Search for a Self” the coach/therapist brings into the therapeutic encounter an attitude of I/Thou allowing for meeting the client without judgment of where and how he is and without pretense of having superior knowledge and the ability to “fix” him. This being “with” is not a technique, a method to be practiced on…but rather it emanates from authentic caring and a conviction of the worth and sanctity of each individual struggling in the process of finding his unique self. My encounter with S. exemplifies the awesome power inherent in this self-less therapeutic approach:

An Employee Assistant Program referred S. to me for addiction treatment evaluation.

This is his story:

He reports that he spent his youth in several foster homes having been abandoned by both his mother and father. He described some of these homes adequate but a third extremely brutal. He was beaten, sexually abused, starved, to keep him in line. Eventually, at the age of 14, he escaped and attempted to make it on his own. He did so with the help of daily, non-stop marijuana smoking. He became a bicycle repairman to earn some money. In addition to smoking pot non-stop, riding his bicycle kept him somewhat sane. My being with him non-judgmentally and interested in his experiences, finding inherent strengths and connections in his story to find purpose in his 15-year substance overuse; not immediately proposing a treatment plan and to expect him to stop use of the illegal substance, so impacted him that he abruptly terminated after three sessions. Years later, I received a bouquet of roses with a long letter, stating among many things, that the three sessions literally saved and changed his life. He stopped, because my warm, positive attitude toward him was more than he could bear even though he always longed for that kind of understanding. Subsequently, he had entered other treatment programs always being keenly aware that something was deeply missing. He wanted to return for “a little” more therapy with me, to which I agreed. We slowly developed a mutually satisfying I/Thou relationship. Initially feeling like an “it” object, with loving therapeutic support and patience, he was eventually able to develop an “I” and a” we-us” and begin genuine healing. A year into the therapy, he disappeared again as quickly as he reappeared. This is his process and can be none other.

Multi-Phasic Transformation Awareness Statement. (MPTASÓ)

The MPTAS are elaborations on the awareness and growth continuum in an individual’s transformation process from pre-addicted existence, to an eventually confluent relationship with suffering and addictive life style to a lively existence with “Self” and others and the world. Therapy, a microcosmic laboratory for learning, raises individuals’ awareness to the “what” and the “how” of their process in their search for meaning and in finding the ” Self”. The awareness statements are summary statements of accomplished growth as it emerges organically out of the coaching/therapeutic process. I believe organically, because progression toward a healthier life style in relationship with others proceeds sequentially. Developmental lags are mediated and self-care/being cared-for eases early deprivation. This is always a uniquely individual process not a recipe-type prescription for health. Every individual requires different attention in differing degrees, at different times. That is the reason for the general tenor, even vagueness of the awareness statements/ summary statements. As such, they allow for the greatest variability in expressing individuals’ unique needs, wants and achievements.

I have been asked what the purpose of the statements is and what they add to the process. My immediate answer is “a lot”, addicted individuals truly enjoy working in this format because within it, they can envision and experience their own life process for change. I am always amazed with what ease and absence of shame and guilt clients are able to point out where their awareness necessitates deepening. The choice to and how to continue is always with the client even though, most are learning for the first time the complexities inherent in the process of choosing). Certain MPTAS may require more time and effort; others can be accomplished with relative ease. There is also significant overlap. Coaching/therapy must begin where the client experiences earliest disruption in the client’s healthy development occurs. It is not a coach/therapist’s responsibility to get the person to where they want to be in life, but to be available in every possibly way to support his unfolding. This is in essence what Laura Perls’ basic belief expresses: “provide only enough support to enable the client to help himself”.

If you would like more information on the Multi-Phasic Transformation Process™, check out my ebook, Multi-Phasic Transformation Process.



The Rise of the Global Boutique Production Company

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Production companies working with film and photography have seen the industry change over the course of the 20th century. Once relegated to the mega-studios or individual advertising companies, now it is common to find a production that is small enough in size to serve the individual needs of each of its customers, but able to do so on a global scale. With modern technological advances and partnerships with the right niche contractors around the world, these companies handle every digital branding need for businesses large and small.

Global Impact, Local Service

As industries grow, it’s been common for businesses to evolve into massive corporate entities, with huge staff and presences around the world. While this made it effective for these companies to handle a volume of work, each individual client that they served often lost out on that personal touch that is so necessary to effectively building and maintaining a brand presence. For example, a company looking to target customers overseas may find that working with a large company means they never know who they will be talking with at any given time, while instead, finding a German production company will help them develop the exact right materials to target that market, all with a devoted staff guiding them through each stage.

Able To Handle The Largest Jobs

The benefit of these smaller-scale production companies is that they can handle just about any needed job, wither in-house or through a network of related partner contractors. For example, in the above scenario, the German production company would know the right people – from casting directors to camera operators – to film a video job in the country, without the client needing to leave their home base.

A single boutique production company can handle any print media elements that may be needed for a campaign or event, including ad campaigns, catalogs, and even published interviews or editorials. If it comes to a special cause, a company can help put on an event from start to finish, even something as unique as an art exhibition or fashion show.

Not to mention, a company means that clients are able to access Hollywood’s resources. Whether the goal is to have a particular celebrity endorse a product or an ad, or to cast a group of actors for roles in a promotional video, the production company will have all the means to handle every single aspect, from start to finish.

Size Matters

It can’t be said enough that one of things attracting large-scale clients to smaller, boutique production companies is that they can have more or less of a role in the entire branding or marketing process. Some clients prefer to be entirely hands-off, in which the above resources can be utilized to take care of every aspect. Or, if a client prefers to attend castings or visit locations, a smaller team will be more than happy to accommodate requests.

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What is PABX System?

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So, in such cases, installing business phone systems is great option. Not only does it save you time and money in the office, but also prevents you from losing out on potential business, even when you are away. One such office phone system is the PABX system, which stands for Private Automatic Branch Exchange.


PBX is an acronym for Private Branch Exchange and it stands for a telephone exchange that is used in business or the office as opposed to one that is used as a common carrier or telephone company that operates for many businesses or for the general public.

PBX is also referred to as PABX-Private Automatic Branch Exchange and EPABX-Electronic Private Automatic Branch Exchange.

PBXs are used to make connections amongst the internal telephones of a private organisation, which are usually business oriented. They are also connected to a public switched telephone network (PSTN) through trunk lines. As they incorporate telephones, modems, fax machines, and many more parts, the general term “extensions” that is given is referred to the end point on the branch.

PBXs are differentiated from the key systems in which the users of the key system manually select the outgoing lines, whereas the PABX phone system selects it automatically. There are some hybrid systems that combine both the features. In the beginning, the main advantage of PBXs was the cost saved on internal phone calls, handling the circuit switching and thus locally reduced charges for the local phone service. Over the time, as PBXs increased in their popularity, it started offering many more services than the operator network, like call forwarding, extension dialling and hunt groups. In the early 1960s, there was a simulated PBX known as Centrex, which provided many similar features as the central telephone exchange.

How it all began

There were two significant developments during the 1990s and it led to new types of PBX systems. One of the developments was the immense growth of the data network and the increased understanding in the public about packet switching. Companies needed packet switched networks for data and to use them for public telephones was very tempting and with the global availability of the Internet, the system made packet switched communication became even more attractive.

These factors then lead to the development of the VoIP Phone System, which stands for Voice over Internet Protocol. Another development that leads to the hosted PBXs was that most companies realised that they did not have the core competence to handle the telephony of their companies and they required it to be done by someone else. Thus, in a hosted PBX setup, the PBX is situated and managed by a telephone provider and the features and calls are delivered through the Internet. The customer has to just sign up instead of buying the hardware. But today there are many companies that are setting up their own PBX systems, which are available with companies like ITT Communications.

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Play Poker With Online Casinos

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There is this inherent desire in every human being to earn loads of money and that too, as soon as possible. However, it is hard to refute that there is no shortcut to success. With the introduction of online casino games and poker, there finally seems to be a way to play online poker easily.

Why is online poker so popular?

Online poker seems to be the buzzword among both die hard gamblers and novices who are simply thrilled by the rising popularity of this game. In fact, most of the students in USA prefer playing poker rather than engaging themselves in summer jobs for their allowances. Although, online poker games might start as a hobby for most of the people, it soon goes on to become a source to earn some easy money instantly.

Most of the people seem to be welcoming the concept of poker games. However, critics slam it as a fraudulent and highly risky game which could backfire on the player at any point of time. Although a large number of professional players bet that their success rate is cent percent, another fact which needs to be understood is that playing poker with online casinos still hasn’t been able to receive legal sanction.

Are parents fine with it?

Most of the parents seem to be sceptical of their children who invest large amount of their time, energy and even money while playing online poker. However, certain parents are also completely comfortable with the idea of their children playing poker in order to provide their tuition fee themselves.

Though it cannot be ignored that there are mammoth amount of failure stories where people have lost huge amount of money while playing poker, winning is not fairly common. Professional players who play poker for a fee claim that it is important to learn certain gambling moves in order to master the game. One can only learn these moves when they have practiced the game again and again, therefore mastering it. It is advisable that novice gamblers who do not have a thorough knowledge of online poker should not risk investing too much amount while playing online poker initially.

On the other hand, professional poker players seem to be more cautious than any other kind of player. This is because these individuals are supposed to play on a limited amount of sum and claim their win as well. The best advice which can be doled out to any novice who is about to venture into the world of online poker would be not to invest their amount in one go. It is better to increase or decrease the amount of sum invested on the basis of their performance in them game.

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Relationship Withdrawal – Why You Feel Like You’re Going to Die

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You have just broken up with your boyfriend/girlfriend and you can’t eat, sleep, feel panicky, disoriented, can’t focus at work and feel like you’re going to die. Maybe you feel nauseous, have headaches, feel depressed, can’t function at home or at work, have cravings for the person, have thoughts of suicide, feel shaky, forgetful, or a host of other symptoms that make you feel horrible.

Welcome to relationship withdrawal. Yes, the symptoms you are feeling are the same symptoms a drug or alcohol or any other addicted person feels when their “substance” is removed from their lives.

How can this be so? And why is it so intense?

I have written several articles on the effects dopamine has on the brain. Dopamine is the “feel good” transmitter that our brain produces in response to something that triggers it. The trigger can be positive: exercise, falling in love, being surprised with some wonderful gift from a loved one; and it can also be triggered by something negative: spousal abuse, an unexpected response or event, drug/alcohol abuse.

The bottom line is this: Our brains like dopamine and they don’t care what we have to do to supply it to them, as long as they get their “fix.”

When we find ourselves out of a relationship with someone, it does not really matter to the brain whether it was a healthy or destructive situation. As long as the brain was getting its dopamine needs met, it felt okay. But once that supply is gone from our lives, the brain gets cranky and starts to flood us with all sorts of physical and psychological symptoms. Sometimes these symptoms are so bad, that we will voluntarily return to whatever the supply was that we left, including horrible and painful relationships, just to get that dopamine level met and thereby quiet and quell the dreadful withdrawal. This is one of the reasons some people can’t leave a bad relationship. It is also the reason we feel like we are dying when we get dumped from what we thought was a good relationship. It is like being on a treadmill running 5 miles an hour for a long period of time and then suddenly the treadmill is turned off. We are still in motion, even though the treadmill is no longer running us. Instead of the euphoric dopamine production, we crash and burn in a dysphoric state.

The brain knows there are many ways for us to get our dopamine “kicks.” But as creatures of habit, we will seek the same thing over and over until it destroys us; or we may instead switch addictions and leave the drama filled relationship and do other things to get our dopamine needs met. With each bout of addiction comes the need to up the ante because the brain will need more and more as it gets accustomed to the ever increasing levels of dopamine. The pattern becomes a disease of the brain which is constantly talking to us and telling us to feed it more and more. This explains why people literally feel as if they are going into withdrawal when they get out of a relationship. The brain is begging for a fix.

Anyone who has ever been through drug or alcohol rehab knows that it takes time to go through the withdrawal. Time has an elegant and eloquent way of calming us down if we allow it to. If you or someone you know is going through relationship withdrawal, share this information with them. Be as supportive as you can and if you are going through it yourself, don’t isolate. Isolation will magnify the symptoms and prolong the recovery. Get active and stay busy in something positive. Start to walk, jog, volunteer to work with animals, work out at the gym or take a class so that the dopamine levels in your brain can be positively activated. And do this every day whether you want to or not. If you wait for your feelings to catch up with you, you will never get there! Get a notebook and journal about your feelings each day, then put the notebook away and get proactive doing something positive for yourself. Allow yourself only 5 minutes twice a day to cry over it and then get on with your life in between the crying spells. Seriously, schedule and time out your crying spells. Then get on with it. Learn from the relationship and make a solid plan for what you will do, won’t do, will allow, won’t allow the next time you are in a relationship. Know that in time, you will look back on your stint in withdrawal and it will be over…for good.

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Internet Speed: How Fast Is the Internet Across the Globe

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The Internet has grown exponentially in the last years. More and more people are now connected and have access to the internet. Considering that people now rely on the internet to perform their daily tasks and even interact with their peers, it is now a must to have Internet access wherever you go.

But not all places have the same Internet speed. The internet speed differs in many areas because of a lot of factors. It can be the infrastructure of the service provider or even how you set it up in your home.

You would think that the US has the fastest Internet Connection on the globe as it is considered a first world country and has the means to create a better infrastructure for this. However, the country with the fastest connection is found on the other side of the globe, South Korea. Having a speed of 39.41mbps, it is considered as the country with the highest internet speed. And they are still on the quest for more!

Here is the list of the countries with the fastest Internet speed in the world.

1. South Korea

Apart from having the fastest speed, the country holds the most wifi spots. If you always want to stay connected, then South Korea might be the best country to live in.

2. Latvia

The main users of internet in Latvia are from ages 16-24. Given that number, you can easily assess that most users are the millennials and are always using social networking sites and other modern apps.

3. Lithuania

They have fast internet, that’s a given. However, the recent study shows that a lot of internet users in Lithuania are experiencing security problems last year.

4. Aland Islands

Not only a place worth to visit because of its great landscape, it’s a perfect spot if you are looking for a speedy internet connection.

5. Romania

This might come as a surprise but Romania is a hot spot for companies that would like to set up their web host. Thanks to the fast internet speed for that.

If you are still interested to know some of the countries that have the fastest internet speed, then you can find them here. At least you will know what to expect if you are about to visit these places.

(Netherlands, Republic of Moldova, Sweden, Portugal, Iceland, Japan, Belgium, Switzerland, Andorra, Singapore, Bulgaria, Germany, Estonia, Denmark, Hungary, Ukraine, France, Luxembourg, Norway, Finland)

Internet speed in these countries is between 13 mbps to 39 mbps. It just shows that the internet speed does not depend on the economic status of the country. Every year, the speed increases roughly around 10% which just shows the hunger for speed of the global users. With the fast-paced lifestyle we have now, the internet would also need to keep up. Do you think it will?

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Mobile Document Shredding Services – 10 Good Reasons to Hire a Professional Paper Shredder

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Thanks to new laws passed by the government, creating a document shredding plan has become a part of doing business. This is to keep non-public information handled by businesses and organizations secure and to prevent identity theft. However, some companies still shred paper themselves. In this article we’ll look at 10 good reasons why it is a good idea to hire a mobile document shredding company to handle this work for you.

  1. Ease of Use – Mobile shredding companies provide clients with secure locking containers. When sensitive materials need to be disposed of, they can simply be dropped in the locked console, rather than having to shred them individually. Forget removing staples, paper-clips or bindings…With high volume capabilities, you can toss huge folders of paper work into shredding trucks and they are shredded beyond recognition in seconds!
  2. Cost Efficiency – Shredding trucks shred paper faster and have much more capacity than any regular in-house shredding machine can provide. If you were to assign an employee to do this task, it would cost your company more than hiring a shredding company. It is even more cost effective than having a minimum wage employee do the shredding, let alone someone who gets paid good wages. Why waste the time of talented employees by making them stand over a shredding machine? Also, shredding machines are not cheap, and can require repairs if used a lot.
  3. The FTC Safeguards Rule of the GLB Act mandates that private data be monitored for destruction.

    Most mobile shredding services have observation screens where you can watch the papers being shredded. You are also provided with a certificate of destruction. Other services, such as recyclers can easily lose your papers on the way to the recycling plant. They pay little attention to the security of your data. Why increase your legal exposure and risk huge fines for improperly disposing of private data?

  4. It’s An Ethical Business Practice.

    Do you really want papers your customers’ or clients’ non-public information blowing in the wind? Think of how bad you would feel if your customer data was stolen because you were too lazy to take simple precautions…Not to mention the huge PR damage your business could take.

  5. With A Shredding Service, You Get Major Help From Pros

    Let’s face it…Compliance with all of the various shredding laws is not always simple. There are many laws and it can be hard to decipher all of the various sources of information. When you hire a shredding company, you get years of experience behind you.

  6. The Environment.

    It’s good to know shredded paper is baled and ends up in paper products like those coarse paper towels you wipe your hands with in public bathrooms. Many shredding companies sell the the bits of paper to paper mills and it is recycled into new paper products.

  7. Better Than ‘Off-Site’ Destruction

    On-site shredding is way more secure. You can actually see the paper being shredded first hand before it leaves your property. By having it done on-site, you eliminate all of the possible risks of exposing your data in it’s complete form after it leaves your premises.

  8. Self Interest & Competitive Advantage

    Many business secrets have been lost to improper handling of important information. Keep your competitive advantage by keeping your data private! Corporate dumpster divers have cost companies millions. With a secure mobile shredding service, you can eliminate (or minimize) risk of competitors and make more money.

  9. Organization

    By organizing your papers and creating a shredding schedule, your home or business can become more efficient. Shredding papers saves tons of storage space and frees up room for more important office equipment.

  10. Peace of mind – Without the proper safeguards, information ends up in the dumpster where it is readily, and legally, available to anybody.

To learn more about how to choose a shredding service and to find a company near you, visit The Document Shredding Directory today.

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