One thing I've learned from watching television is that when someone is being too critical of someone else, it's typically because they feel frightened by the subject matter. This was revealed to us when Roxxxy Andrews mockingly referred to Jinkx Monsoon as a "comedy queen" during RuPaul's Drag Race season five. The lesson is reiterated in "A Night Out With the Guys."

Sean, the vampires' next-door neighbor, is being marked as his territory as the episode begins, with Laszlo elevating his leg (figuratively speaking, in this case). As he explains with much vocal fry, Laszlo is one of the guyyyyyys, and his "wit, wisdom, and charm" enable him to interact with people as a "psychological comedian" without using the "cheap tricks" of vampire hypnotism. He claims that this distinguishes him from Nandor, who is so awkward that he must use hypnosis to make up for all the times he embarrasses himself in front of people.

When it comes to his and Nandor's capacity to seduce the snake, to use yet another provocative phrasing, Laszlo is correct. However, his bluster does in fact seem to be Laszlo's attempt at disguising his own hypnotic insecurities. This is revealed when "the boys" complete their elegant night out at a wine bar in Staten Island by resting their tipsy, inebriated heads against the cool surface of a holding cell toilet.

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Due to the fact that Nandor and Laszlo never consume alcohol, they are OK. (This Dracula phrase was so close to being used in the episode, but it was chosen to back off, which I respect.) Unless you've partied in the suburbs, it would seem strange that immortal raconteurs who have observed (and joyfully engaged in) decadence beyond all human imagination are effectively outpartyed by some suburban wife dudes in this episode. Of course, #NotAllWifeGuys are like that, but some of them guys live to be as inebriated as possible. In the "stunned mixture of fear and horror" understanding of the word, it's great.

In any case, everything works out for the better when Laszlo eventually acknowledges his envy of Nandor's hypnotic powers and requests assistance. Nandor agrees and, in the process, persuades the NYPD that he and Laszlo are Captain "Sully" Sullenberger and "Thomas" Selleck from the television series Blue Bloods. It was amusing to observe Laszlo's composure and assurance in the face of authorities of the mortal kind; after all, a vampire shouldn't be afraid of a police officer. Yes, police officers are armed. However, vampires are challenging to hit due to their high speed and shape-shifting ability. And that's before the power of mind control is used.

At the conclusion of this episode, Laszlo proved to be not just the borough's best detective but also the one who could get the truth out of Guillermo without even trying. Guillermo had diarrhea, as usual, and Laszlo wondered why vampires were so fascinated with feces. — and never anticipated "Gizmo" to take such drastic action in pursuit of his vampire fantasy. Is it because they don't do it anymore? What's done, though, is done. Laszlo's hairy little hands now control Guillermo's fate because his secret is public knowledge.

The primary story of episode two came to a satisfactory (and hilarious!) conclusion, as did Guillermo and Derek's trip to the Pine Barrens to speak with the Baron and the Sire (always wonderful to see those cuties again) about their "friend's" half-vampiric predicament. The other subplot of the show, involving Nadja and the Guide, however, felt unresolved in contrast. When it comes to her friendship with the Guide, Nadja refuses to acknowledge her own pettiness and insecurity, and Laszlo recognizes his. This suggests a thematic connection. But as the episode came to a close and Nadja and the crew sat about discussing at the café in Little Antipaxos, there were still a lot of unanswered concerns regarding the hex—a hex, not a curse. A hex existed, but was it real? If so, who did it belong to and why?

I would feel bad if that was the Guide. She and Nadja were quite close last season, but now that Nadja is no longer on the blood-bottle, she no longer has time for her sidekick. They were dressed alike! It was a complete package! The Guide is obviously wounded that Nadja has forgotten about her so abruptly, but it appears that Nadja will never change because, despite the fact that the silly picture frame made it crystal clear to her what she needs to do to turn things around, she still doesn't grasp it. I can only console the Guide by saying that it isn't personal. She behaves this way around everyone. Ask Guillermo, please.

Craven Mirth • I'm here for the Quebec defamation in this episode, if only because French Canadians are upset about not actually being French, and because, to paraphrase Marie Knodo, "I love mess."

• Speaking of France, Laszlo, Nandor, and the boys start their evening in a wine bar named Gare de l'Est Brasserie, which is also the name of a significant Parisian train station. "Gare de l'Est" simply translates to "East Railway Station."

• It goes without saying that Matt Berry will receive Line Reading of the Week in a Laszlo-focused episode. This week's two standout phrases, in my opinion, were the steep upward inflection of "Much as it pains me to say THIS!" and "Lay off the breakfast burrit-ahs."

• I thought the joke about the Greeks "taking Antipaxian cuisine and passing it off as their own" was really humorous because I'm fairly certain they were just substituting the Greek alphabet for "Antipaxan."

• "So much old fish and cheap junk! It is similar to gazing out of the window of my childhood house.

"I'll have the taki-taki without the yogurt." Colin is dangerous.

• It was wonderful to watch the Sir erect a church out of Popsicle sticks.

• When Jonathan the vampire (or wampire, I should say) neighbor popped like a water balloon full of blood, I genuinely gasped. Congratulations to the VFX team for coming up with that.