These are the phrases of the distinguished American Buddhist monk, Ajahn Sumano Bhikkhu, as he proclaimed within the six-part YouTube video sequence Monk within the Mountain. He left his native United States and was ordained as a novice and have become a totally ordained Bhikkhu (monk) in Thailand. In Thailand, Ajahn Sumano has lived in worldwide forest monasteries within the North East and South Thailand, on mountains, in caves, in essentially the most distant hill tribe areas, and on islands. He has spent a number of rains retreats in Malaysia, Myanmar (Burma) and, Sri Lanka.

“As a result of there was by no means anyone there within the first place.” Once I first noticed the video the place Ajahn made this assertion, it prompted me to think about the exact same thought that had handed via my mind for concerning the final 40 years. In Buddhism probably the most primary teachings is that of the Three Marks of Existence: right here they’re within the historic language of Pali; (with English translations) dukkha (struggling), anicca (impermanence) and, anatta (non-self). It’s the latter, non-self that Ajahn was referring to within the video. I’ve studied all of the Buddha’s teachings since about 1974 and for all these years it has been the concept if you wish to name it that, that there isn’t an actual self, an actual me.

I labored beside a chap a number of years in the past; I’ll name him Tommy – not his actual title – who was what folks would name today a narcissist. What’s a narcissist? I’ve heard it stated {that a} narcissist has an ‘egotistic admiration of 1’s idealized self-image’. Little doubt you’ll be scrummaging round in your thoughts and possibly arising with the likes of Marilyn Monroe, Adolph Hitler, Kim Kardashian, Laurence Olivier, and many others. However everyone has sure narcissistic tendencies for one important purpose: ‘we’ are caught on this physique. Getting again to Tommy; this chap would have been in his late forties, single, full head of hair, however who clearly used ‘faux tan’ all 12 months spherical. Yuk! He was disliked by many of the employees because of the continuous boasting that he had a PhD in digital engineering, was a member of varied skilled organizations and owned a small villa on the outskirts of Monte Carlo. After all, he was the neatest dressed man within the workplace complicated, usually informing those that’d pay attention, that he purchased all his garments from a Paul Smith’s males’s designer retailer in London’s Mayfair. And he owned a Ferrari 458 supercar! And right here I’m trying again on this particular person and questioning what Ajahn would suppose.

So, as compared, we have now a Buddhist monk who has given up all the pieces to guide a solitary life in pursuit of Enlightenment and Tommy, an egotist of the very best order, who sees himself someway above everyone else. The very fact is all of us self-identify in each facet of life in any respect ages. From the second our mom clothes us with our first nappy to the time the final nail within the coffin is hammered in, we’re roughly coerced into projecting who we expect we’re. It jogs my memory of the outdated saying, ‘I believe due to this fact I’m,’ by Descartes. Nicely, personally I don’t suppose so. Let’s get again to Tommy. In the event you take a look at your personal life you will notice comparable desirous components. You may not have a Ferrari however you’ll have a Mini Cooper or a Vauxhall Corsa. Possibly you reside in an inexpensive flat on the town who outlets for garments in Walmart and possibly left faculty with no formal {qualifications}. The very fact is these are all elements of karma. What’s karma? Put merely it’s the consequence of your actions in physique, speech and, thoughts. As a result of with the id of ‘me’ or ‘I’ comes the karmic circumstances surrounding these perceptions. How we speak about issues, how we go about our each day lives and the way we expect, are all based mostly on needs or greedy. Seemingly we people can by no means be content material with what we’ve obtained. And the stronger the notion of ‘I’ or ‘me’ or ‘mine’ comes the impact of emotional stress.

There are two elements to this. Firstly, it’s not getting what you need and secondly having to get that which you don’t need! Oh, I might like to have a brand new automobile – I’m fed up with this outdated crapper I’ve owned for ten years; towards, occurring a long-distance drive on the M25 (round London) and . . . you break down. It’s a catastrophe. Why does it need to occur to me? It’s me, me, me, me, me! The Buddha would retort, ‘precisely, who’s me?’ By figuring out with somebody referred to as ‘me’ we then differentiate with ‘you’. Me and also you. Now this dualism, sadly, is principally and psychologically on the coronary heart of most of mankind’s struggling. Why? As a result of we are inclined to establish with others who act and suppose like we do. ‘I’m totally different from him/her due to – after which comes the myriad of causes.

We then get the tribal elements. We will hint all of this tribalism going again to, say, the Roman Empire which managed most of Europe as we all know it as we speak, all through the Center East and coastal nations of North Africa. From these instances proper up till the current, we have now had in current instances our British Empire, Hitler’s ‘Third Reich’, the Soviet Union and, in a extra bland method, the European Union. A lot of the time these dominions have been made up of the ‘sheep mentality’ of individuals typically. After which we had Covid-19 and what did folks do? They adopted one another into the supermarkets and clear the cabinets of bathroom paper. It’s a bit just like the outdated adage, ‘do as I do, not as I say!’ So, getting again to id, are we actually who we expect we’re? As I’ve gotten older I’ve seemed again on this life many instances. Is the younger main faculty pupil who began to innocently fancy the ladies at college the identical man who had intercourse for the primary time? Is the 18-year outdated drummer who performed part-time in a rock band the identical chap who obtained married and had a son? The married man who went to work abroad as an expat for 9 years all through the 80s – is he the identical man who moved to Aberdeen, after divorce, and who, a number of years later, as soon as extra went abroad to work and re-married? He nonetheless lives in Aberdeen, an ex-Technical Author who spent practically three years working in Surrey, and who now seeks some type of self-realization.

You see id a lot of the time is about then and now. I hated mushrooms when rising up after which in the future at a cocktail party again within the 70s, I made a decision to attempt them, and have cherished them ever since. So who’s the man who hated mushrooms again then versus the lover of mushrooms as we speak? All of us have comparable likes and dislikes over time. However I preserve bringing again the topic; who’s the ‘who’ who likes/dislikes? The very fact is, the ‘I’ repeatedly re-identifies with the present circumstances. Life can also be about emotions and feelings and ‘me’ who suffers when marriages break up, a father or mom who passes away, being fired from a job that you simply love . . . however ‘who’ is fired? If you end up chosen for a brand new job that you simply noticed marketed on-line the world actually is your oyster. New environment, new colleagues, new circumstances. You rise very first thing within the morning, getting your self prepared, have a chunk to eat, and off to get pleasure from one other nice day within the work-place. ‘I’ am actually loving this job. However, and for numerous causes, ‘you’ get fired, and made redundant. You might be paid off from the job you liked. However this now turns to hate. I fcking hate that firm and that bstard who fired me. However who obtained fired? Good query. It’s the most tough idea to understand or to get a deal with on . . . who’s me?

Ajahn Sumano has been taking a look at that query most of his life, nearly all of these years as a Buddhist monk, and even he hasn’t discovered himself but, effectively, not as we all know it! Lastly, the next is one thing that occurred to me again within the mid-70s. I used to be researching for what could be my first publication, Buddhism in Britain (1979) and spent a number of days at Samye Ling Tibetan Buddhist Centre in Eskdalemuir, Scotland. I used to be there to interview the 2 Tibetan lamas, Akong Tulku Rinpoche and Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche. So what occurred? I had been doing Buddhist meditation for about two years and when at Samye Ling, I took the chance to make use of its meditation room. So there was I, on their own within the room, and sitting cross-legged within the ‘half-lotus’ place. For some purpose, my meditation went deeper than ever earlier than . . . I misplaced monitor of time, I might hear the little birds tweeting their heads off simply outdoors. There have been voices outdoors and all of a sudden I had what I can solely describe as an Enlightenment expertise. How one can describe it? In a method, completely unimaginable however let’s put it this manner; I used to be nowhere and but I used to be in every single place! It was if my complete being was the Universe; Ian Oliver didn’t exist . . . there was simply . . . effectively, all the pieces – I used to be all the pieces! So right here I’m a few years later and I keep in mind this expertise as if it have been simply yesterday; oh, and I’ve by no means skilled it since. And I ponder now if it was as a result of there was by no means anyone there within the first place?

“The more durable you drive your life towards cash and safety, the more durable it’s to get sufficient of it. You by no means get sufficient of what you do not want.” Ajahn Sumano Bhikkhu