Sarah Drew is trying again at how she felt leaving Gray’s Anatomy after starring on the present for 9 seasons.

The actress, who performed Dr. April Kepner, was let go from the ABC medical drama after season 14 in 2018, alongside Jessica Capshaw, who performed Dr. Arizona Robbins. Nonetheless, shortly after her exit, Gray’s Anatomy‘s shortform collection B-Staff — which Drew directed — scored an Emmy nomination.

“We had been unceremoniously let go in a method that felt imply and unjust, and, due to that, the outpouring of affection was so huge it was such as you had been sitting there watching individuals [eulogize you],” Drew stated on a latest episode of the Name It What It Is podcast, co-hosted by Capshaw and Camilla Luddington.

In a earlier interview with Vulture, she likened her expertise celebrating the Emmy nom after exiting the present to “attending [my] personal funeral.” And whereas her “confidence had gotten a bit shaken within the wake of being let go,” Drew informed The Hollywood Reporter in 2018 that she lastly realized the nomination was a “profound affirmation” of her skills.

“The nomination after the actual fact made me go, ‘I don’t must be nervous about something or have my confidence shaken,’” the actress stated on the time. “I’m not solely pursuing my profession as an actor however I’m now additionally strolling into this world as a director and as a producer and the world is so broad open. Greater than the rest, the previous few weeks after my remaining episodes have been a extremely stunning rebirth and a extremely thrilling time.”

Drew’s exit from Gray’s Anatomy got here as a shock for not solely the actress however followers of the present as nicely. She additionally beforehand informed THR that the rationale for her firing was as a result of “the present had too many characters and that they wanted to downsize as a result of they couldn’t service all the characters successfully. They didn’t need any of us to be left within the background and never getting a lot of a narrative.”

Nonetheless, the Cagney and Lacey actress has since returned to the hit medical drama, making appearances in seasons 17 and 18. She additionally stated on the Name It What It Is podcast that coming again to the present has really been “liberating.”

“I’ve no attachment to [the show] in any respect,” Drew defined. “I had zero nervousness [going back because] I don’t want something from anybody on that set anymore. They’re not answerable for my livelihood anymore. They’re not answerable for my success or my pleasure… I’m like, ‘Hey! This can be a enjoyable spot to return go to.’”

Elsewhere within the podcast, Drew additionally revealed that her character was initially alleged to have a one-night stand with Eric Dane’s Mark Sloan in season seven.

“Earlier than they made my character love Jesus and a virgin, there’s a scene the place Sloan and Reed [Nora Zehetner] have intercourse, a random one-night stand. That was alleged to be me initially. It was alleged to be April,” she recalled. “April was alleged to have some random one-off with Sloan and it was within the authentic manufacturing draft [of the script], after which they modified it. I didn’t have something to do with it, however then they modified their thoughts.”