Rachel Lindsay was feeling a combination of feelings after now-estranged husband Bryan Abasolo proposed to her on The Bachelorette.

“I felt bizarre. I can’t say thrilling was the phrase. I used to be scared,” Lindsay, 39, admitted on the Tuesday, April 6, episode of the “Getting Grilled with Curtis Stone” podcast. “I used to be like, ‘Oh my gosh, now I’ve to inform my mother and father that I acquired engaged,’ as a result of after I left to go do The Bachelor[ette], I used to be like, ‘Don’t fear, I’m not going to fall for any of those males,’ and I did, so I used to be so terrified to inform them.”

Lindsay recalled her engagement ring after Abasolo, 44, popped the query whereas her fiancé was “excited.” She added, “I used to be very quiet on the way in which dwelling. I used to be weirded out.”

Forward of her stint because the season 13 Bachelorette in 2017, Lindsay “didn’t assume [she] was getting married.”

“After that first night time, I used to be like, there’s potential right here, however I nonetheless was like, ‘There’s no means I’m gonna marry this particular person.’ And even whenever you get engaged on the finish, it’s the scariest day when the cameras shut down,” she stated. “However you could have this ring in your finger, and there’s this man, and for the primary time, you experience within the automotive collectively, you’re going to the identical resort room collectively. It’s like, that is the start of your new life.”

Behind closed doorways, Lindsay stated she and Abasolo realized they “truly actually have lots in frequent.” She recalled pondering, “We’re actually good collectively and I’m enthusiastic about what’s to come back.”

The twosome went on to tie the knot in Mexico in August 2019. In January, Abasolo filed for divorce after 4 years of marriage. Whereas reflecting on their break up, Lindsay stated she “realized lots” from her former accomplice. “It ran its course,” she stated.

Regardless of Lindsay seemingly being at peace along with her break up from Abasolo, the exes’ ongoing divorce has been messy. In Might, Abasolo filed courtroom paperwork, obtained by Us Weekly, requesting spousal assist and that Lindsay pay his $75,000 in authorized charges. He additionally claimed the duo had been nonetheless residing collectively, inflicting a “strained and awkward” dynamic.

Earlier this month, Abasolo alleged in separate courtroom paperwork obtained by Us that Lindsay referred to him as a “leech” in a textual content message whereas sending a spousal assist cost.

Because the divorce continues, Lindsay stated she is trying ahead — even dipping her toe into the relationship pool. “Courting is an enormous chapter … In order that’s gonna be new. That’s a complete new expertise, as a result of I haven’t executed it, actually since my twenties,” she defined. “So I don’t know what I’m gonna be like in that world. In order that’s new. Or if I even need it, you realize? Divorce is such a difficult factor. I don’t even understand how I’m going to really feel about all that.”

Lindsay famous that she sees a household in her future. “That’s one thing that I really need that’s vital to me. I really need kids,” she stated. “And I’ve to maintain saying it and remind myself as a result of I would like — 1. I wanna manifest it. However 2. It’s very actual to me, and I would like that. I didn’t get that earlier than, so going ahead, that’s one thing that I might need.”