Although Seinfeld star Michael Richards has spent years out of the highlight, significantly following his racist remarks in 2006, the actor is now opening up about his life, in addition to that night time.

Through the stand-up set on the Snigger Manufacturing facility in Los Angeles, Richards yelled racial insults at a bunch of hecklers, together with utilizing the N-word a number of occasions, after they interrupted his efficiency. Although he later apologized on the then-Late Present With David Letterman, the incident notably upended his profession.

Almost 20 years later, Richards spoke with Folks journal forward of the discharge of his memoir, Entrances and Exits, on June 4. Through the interview, he shared that he doesn’t count on individuals to forgive and overlook that night time.

“I used to be instantly sorry the second I mentioned it onstage,” he mentioned. “I’m not searching for a comeback.”

Richards continued, “My anger was everywhere and it got here by means of exhausting and quick. Anger is sort of a power. However it occurred. Reasonably than run from it, I dove into the deep finish and tried to be taught from it. It hasn’t been straightforward.” He added, “Disaster managers needed me to do injury management. However so far as I used to be involved, the injury was inside of me.”

The previous comic informed the outlet that he spent the years after the controversy in “deep evaluation,” attempting to “determine the place all of the anger was coming from,” which he mentioned was partly on account of his personal insecurities.

“In some way I couldn’t hook up with the enjoyment of being an artist,” Richards mentioned, relating to his memorable position as Cosmo Kramer on Seinfeld. “I used to be a great character actor, however I used to be snug being the character, not in being me.”

He added that “fame magnified” his insecurities, which led him to show down a number of alternatives, and that he was by no means “actually happy” along with his efficiency within the hit sitcom, which ran from 1989 to 1998.

When he thinks again to the racist feedback he made on that night time in 2006, Richards mentioned he is aware of he has no legitimate excuse for his hurtful phrases. “I’m not racist,” he informed Folks. “I’ve nothing towards Black individuals. The person who informed me I wasn’t humorous had simply mentioned what I’d been saying to myself for some time. I felt put down. I needed to place him down.”

Nevertheless, he famous that he’s spent the previous 17 years “studying and therapeutic,” in addition to confronting his childhood trauma — which he additionally mentioned in his memoir, amongst different matters.

“Life is at all times an up and a down,” Richards concluded. “I proceed to work by means of the day and the night time, the sunshine and the darkish that I’m.”