Is Working from Zombies Ruining My Profession?

Pricey Remy,

I’ve turn out to be rich because the lead in a profitable horror franchise. Once I signed on, I had two younger youngsters and wanted the regular work. I figured I’d do one movie, take the examine, after which get again to extra ‘critical’ roles—interval dramas, corsets, and petticoats.

However right here I’m, ten years later, with seven sequels underneath my belt and nothing else to indicate for it. My character has been buried alive, held hostage in a haunted silo, and trapped in a magical pocket universe the place everybody was half bee, half human. I’ve perfected the artwork of working like my life relies on it, however one way or the other simply slowly sufficient for a reanimated corpse to catch up. My mid-scream face is now a meme that’s been used on each continent and featured on Leno.

I’m caught. The worst half? I do know I’m good in these movies. They’re well-made, and I give it my all, however horror doesn’t get the respect it deserves. At awards season, horror films are at all times woefully ignored. I skilled at Juilliard, and I can scream on cue whereas dodging zombies, nevertheless it appears like I’m endlessly the ‘scream queen.’ Ought to I battle for horror to be taken critically, or attempt to escape into one thing else?

Scream Has-Been

Pricey Scream Has-Been,

You’ve received a profitable franchise, recurring work, and also you’ve been featured on Leno—that is the form of regular work and profile most actors dream of. But it surely seems like your frustration isn’t with horror itself; it’s with how the business—and maybe you—understand your function in it.

You’re proper—the business doesn’t seem to embrace horror prefer it does different genres (maybe they’re simply collectively wimps), which implies it wants a champion. Might that be you? What would occur when you embraced your place as a pioneer in elevating horror? Do you assume the respect you’re looking for would possibly come when you cease viewing your success as a lure and begin seeing it as a chance to redefine the style’s potential?

And on discovering your approach into different genres: would a period-horror piece be an excellent stepping stone? Would carrying periwigs whereas dodging poltergeists be your factor?

Till your subsequent incarnation,

Remy

Assist! My Podcast Accomplice Retains Modifying Me Out

Pricey Remy,

I’ve been co-hosting a popular culture podcast with my greatest pal for 2 years. We began with ten listeners (all our mothers, every with a number of accounts), and now we’re getting tens of 1000’s of downloads a month. Right here’s the issue: my pal edits the podcast, and he’s turned it into the ‘Me Present.’

If I mispronounce one thing—like that point I pronounced the ‘H’ in Rihanna—he makes positive to go away that in. However once I make an excellent level about how Reddit’s algorithm is destroying society or counsel Billie Eilish is a music business plant, these bits disappear.

In the meantime, he edits himself to sound just like the Oracle of Los Angeles. His voice will get all of the gravitas, whereas I sound just like the man who’s there through the Make-A-Want Basis.

What do I do? I don’t wish to begin a feud, however that is getting out of hand.

Man of Pod

Pricey Man of Pod,

You’ve been protecting a psychological scorecard, and that’s hardly ever an indication of a wholesome partnership. Earlier than confronting your co-host, may you ask your self if that is really about airtime, or is it extra about feeling like your voice isn’t valued?

What would occur when you each sat down and had an trustworthy dialog about how every of you sees your function within the podcast? You would body it as a broader dialog in regards to the course of the podcast general: do you have to be trying on the editorial, revitalizing the format, or perhaps even launching a line of merchandise—maybe oven mitts together with your faces on them?

Might or not it’s that he’s simply as unaware of how a lot airtime he’s taking as you might be of how a lot resentment you’ve constructed up? And extra importantly, what’s actually at stake for you if this continues? For what it’s value, I’d love to listen to your views on the Reddit algorithm, so I’d say be your personal cheerleader right here.

Wishing you clean crusing as you navigate these uncharted airwaves,

Remy

I’m a Sensible Set Designer — Why Don’t My Buddies Consider Me?

Pricey Remy,

I’m a prime set designer in Hollywood, working with the largest studios and most celebrated administrators. However I can’t cease rearranging every part—my buddies’ residing rooms, their nurseries, even their assembly rooms. As soon as, I couldn’t depart an exec’s workplace with out reorganizing the trophies on his cabinets. Two buddies truly lower me off after I repositioned their child’s nursery in response to Vastu Shastra rules… at their child bathe.

My spouse received’t let me invite folks over anymore as a result of I spend half the time testing out colour schemes and the opposite half explaining Feng Shui. I as soon as upcycled my mother’s favourite rocking chair into nesting tables whereas she was on the grocery retailer—she nonetheless hasn’t forgiven me. I’m good at what I do. Shouldn’t everybody simply admire my genius?

Set in My Methods

Pricey Set in My Methods,

You sound like a sound engineer who adjusts the amount of individuals’s conversations at dinner or a lighting director who dims the lights at brunch. You’re good, however there’s a distinction between being good at your job and bringing it into locations the place it’s undesirable.

Have you ever thought-about that your have to rearrange isn’t about design, however about management? What if, as a substitute of reshaping the world round you, you targeted on why you are feeling the necessity to impose your creativity in areas that aren’t yours? Would you continue to be as pushed to regulate everybody’s environment when you may be taught to let go in your private life? For the sake of your spouse—who have to be continuously disoriented by the ever-moving furnishings—these are issues to contemplate.

Don’t curb your artistic impulses, however maybe supply up your assist to your mates with regards to their inside design selections earlier than launching into your Feng Shui shuffles. Like a vampire—maybe it’s essential to be invited in first?

Sending you greatest needs from my completely positioned armchair,

Remy

***

Remy Blumenfeld is a veteran TV producer and founding father of Vitality Guru, which provides enterprise and profession teaching to excessive performers in media. Ship queries to: guru@vitality.guru.

Questions edited by Sarah Mills.

My Husband Received’t Cease Pranking Me — Assist!

Expensive Remy,

I’m this near shifting right into a tent within the yard. My husband, as soon as a dashing cleaning soap star on a Canadian present (filmed in Vancouver, so he was away for months at a time), has taken an alarming flip since his profession hit a post-COVID stoop. With no auditions sticking, he’s determined his true calling is as a YouTube prankster. And guess who’s his unwilling co-star? Me.

Up to now two weeks, I’ve been drenched by a water balloon whereas stepping out of the bathe, discovered pretend spiders in my espresso cup and opened our entrance door to find what gave the impression to be a life-size effigy of the 2 little women from The Shining observing me. The neighbors don’t cease by anymore — not since my husband rigged our storage to appear to be a sinkhole had opened up within the floor, and Mrs. Hewitt’s cat disappeared into the hedge in panic.

Our chiropractor — who, by the best way, used to like us — now not takes our calls after my husband pretended to “snap” his again whereas she was adjusting him. I don’t know if I ought to be supportive of his inventive endeavors or put my foot down earlier than he begins live-streaming my response when he turns our jacuzzi right into a ball pit. Assist!

Yours,
Thanks, however no Pranks

Expensive Thanks, however no Pranks,

Your home sounds prefer it’s one slip-and-slide away from turning into a actuality TV present! And but, the pranks appear as in the event that they’re solely half the issue, proper? It’s not simply the pretend spiders or water balloons—it’s the truth that he’s pouring all this inventive power into pranks as a substitute of pursuing one thing that may really advance his profession.

You’ve hit the nail on the top: would you be as pissed off if he have been dedicating this a lot time to, say, writing a screenplay or creating a one-man present? Most likely not. This isn’t about prank movies; it’s about feeling like his potential is being wasted. (And presumably a few of LA’s water reserves).

It’s time to have a dialog with him, not in regards to the pranks themselves, however about what they characterize. If he’s doing this as an outlet, possibly you may encourage him to channel that creativity elsewhere. In any case: One Logan Paul on this world is greater than sufficient.

Finest,
Remy

To Self-Cancel or To not Self-Cancel — That Is The Query

Expensive Remy,

I’ve been within the public eye for 20 years. I can’t even purchase toothpaste with out somebody snapping a photograph of me prefer it’s proof for a federal case. I’ve hit my breaking level, and I believe I’ve provide you with the right answer: I’m going to get myself canceled.

I determine all I must do is make an inflammatory assertion. I may trash-talk Beyoncé, say that Dolly Parton must tone down her look, or begin a petition to finish Thanksgiving. Possibly tweet about how puppies are overrated? You get the concept. As soon as I’m canceled, I’ll lastly be freed from the celebrity and a spotlight that’s been smothering me for twenty years.

I’ve had run of it: as an actor, I’ve been in a bunch of reveals which have primarily rated above 60% on Rotten Tomatoes, I’ve partied in VIP lounges throughout the West Coast, and dated a number of Playboy Bunnies. However I can’t go wherever with out the flashbulbs going off. I even as soon as discovered a paparazzo dressed as Santa Claus close to my trash — pretending he was there for the neighborhood children.

Is canceling myself the worst thought I’ve ever had, or am I onto one thing?

Yours,
A Cancel Perspective

Expensive Cancel Perspective,

Let’s pause for a second. Is it freedom you’re after, or is it freedom from a model of your self that now not matches? Getting canceled isn’t going to deliver you peace — it’s going to show you into the topic of much more scrutiny. You assume the paparazzi are relentless? Wait till the web will get its claws into you.

If you wish to step away from the limelight, there are quieter, much less explosive methods to do it. Loads of celebrities have managed to fade from public view by taking smaller roles or simply dwelling extra privately. Take a look at Rick Moranis. Or Frankie Muniz. You don’t must burn your status to the bottom to flee. And I undoubtedly wouldn’t advocate bad-mouthing Beyoncé in the intervening time if all of the rumors are true.

Attempt slipping out the again door quietly, and also you may simply discover the peace you’re on the lookout for — with out the drama.

Wishing you effectively in your vanishing voyage,
Remy

Too Quickly? Or Ought to I Simply Shut Up and Shoot?

Expensive Remy,

I’ve received a query that’s actually consuming at me. I’m a director, and I’ve simply been supplied a challenge that’s making me escape in hives. They need me to do a biopic of a beloved nationwide icon. The issue? He solely died in 2020. His widow nonetheless posts tear-jerking Instagram tales about their final Christmas collectively, and his son dropped out of school to flee the media circus.

I get that there’s a number of industrial enchantment right here, but it surely feels just like the man’s household hasn’t even had an opportunity to undergo his sock drawer but. Am I being overly delicate, or is it simply too quickly to show his life right into a film? In any case, the place does it finish? Quick-turnaround biopics? Making biopics for people who find themselves nonetheless alive?

Yours,
Biopic or Move?

Expensive Biopic or Move,

You’re not being too delicate. It’s not simply that the person’s household hasn’t cleaned out his fridge but — this entire challenge feels rushed. It’s as in the event that they’re making an attempt to money in on the grief whereas the tears are nonetheless contemporary. And if his household continues to be coping with the loss so publicly, it appears like pouring salt within the wound to immortalize him on display screen earlier than they’ve had time to heal.

Is the intention to rejoice his life, or is it only a fast-tracked money seize? It’s essential determine in order for you your title connected to one thing that feels opportunistic. If it doesn’t sit proper with you, belief that intuition. Possibly inform the producers you’d be inquisitive about a few years, as soon as the story has had time to breathe. Proper now, it feels like everybody — together with his household — wants extra time.

Finest,
Remy

Remy Blumenfeld is a veteran TV producer and founding father of Vitality Guru, which provides enterprise and profession teaching to excessive performers in media. Ship queries to: guru@vitality.guru.

Questions edited by Sarah Mills.

Assist! I Simply Launched My Masterpiece — and It Obtained Crushed on the Field Workplace By a Cartoon

Expensive Remy,

This week, I launched into the world my biggest work — a movie that transcends mere storytelling. It’s a tour de drive of cinematic mastery, mixing historical texts and philosophical musings with cutting-edge viewers interplay. Think about the vastness of Homer, the mental rigor of Dante, and the cinematic aptitude of Kubrick, however trendy and for the individuals. The movie wrestles with humanity’s darkest wishes — the corrupting nature of energy, the hazard of discovery and, naturally, the existential dread lurking in our souls. I painstakingly crafted every body as if it had been a brushstroke on a canvas meant to be hung within the Louvre. This was not only a film — it was artwork.

And but … one way or the other, the field workplace champion this week is an animated function, full with speaking animals. I’m flummoxed. My movie has been shunned by a populace that prefers brightly coloured pixels over the weighty introspection of my masterwork. I had already deliberate the get together — 9 Jeroboams of Veuve Clicquot able to toast its inevitable ascent to No. 1. As an alternative, I’m left, as soon as once more, ignored. My solely solace is that, maybe a long time from now, my movie will probably be unearthed by a future civilization, who, by then dwelling in dystopian ruins, will lastly grasp the profundity of my work as they watch it on hand-cranked gadgets throughout a poisonous sandstorm.

How do I cope with this grievous insult from a world that can’t admire my imaginative and prescient? Should I, like Van Gogh, await posthumous vindication?

Yours,
A Jaded Genius

Expensive Jaded Genius,

Your ardour on your movie is plain — and sure, your venture sounds … monumental. However maybe you’ve spent so lengthy meticulously crafting this masterpiece that you simply forgot the important thing ingredient in filmmaking: connection. Did that animated function have interaction viewers in a method your opus didn’t? Is it doable that, in your pursuit of profundity, you missed the straightforward pleasure of storytelling?

Overthinking can generally be the enemy of affect. Think about that your viewers is perhaps looking for one thing a bit lighter proper now — much less brooding nihilism, extra speaking birds. What may this train you about brevity and accessibility?

Animated options are, in the primary, easy. And that may be their magnificence. They’ve a singularity of thought that’s each straightforward to observe for his or her target market, however holds magnificence for Mothers and Pops. Then again, you’ve offered an inventory of influences — Dante to Van Gogh — that’s longer than a CVS receipt.

Lastly, these Jeroboams received’t drink themselves. Perhaps invite some mates over, watch that animated function, and remind your self that not all artwork has to alter the world in an effort to be cherished.

Greatest,
Remy

My Husband Simply Glowed Up? Do I Have To, Too?

Expensive Remy,

My husband and I at all times had a pact — we’d develop outdated disgracefully, laughing on the passing of time as we sipped Kristal and recalled the heady, hedonistic nights of the 2000s. We each lived quick, partied onerous, and one way or the other, miraculously, emerged with all our enamel intact and solely a slight softness across the edges. I’ve at all times been OK with that — embracing the “Macramé Scarecrow” look, as I prefer to name it, a patchwork of life’s experiences.

However out of nowhere, my husband blindsided me with a midlife “glow-up.” He was solid in an action-comedy film, and out of the blue, he’s fasting, downing uncooked egg yolks and figuring out with a fervor that’s beginning to scare the neighborhood canine. His aim? To get “reduce” — which I’ve since discovered is the will to have one’s sinews seen, just like the statue of David or an underfed iguana.

I now discover myself standing subsequent to this Adonis, and, actually, I really feel like a crumpled grocery bag flapping within the wind. Whereas he’s out right here bench-pressing his physique weight, I’m considering a second packet of Cheez-Its. Ought to I attempt to glow up too? I’d actually relatively gnaw on a carb.

Yours,
Glow-Regular

Expensive Glow-Regular,

First, let’s admire your capability to embrace the Macramé Scarecrow aesthetic — there’s an artwork to that, and it sounds such as you’ve nailed it. The strain to “sustain” together with your newly sculpted husband is actual, however the determination to glow up ought to be yours and yours alone. In case you’d relatively bask in carbs than cardio, then personal it.

Glow-ups could be exhausting, each bodily and mentally. Ask your self, are you content material in your pores and skin? In that case, why chase one thing that doesn’t really feel genuine? Your glow doesn’t should be exterior. Perhaps you glow greatest from inside — radiating the knowledge and humor you’ve gained from a life well-lived (and well-partied).

The concept a pair have to be coordinated in how they seem is nonsense. You and your husband will not be an identical set of salad tongs from Bergdorf’s — you’re two human beings. Your our bodies ought to serve you as people first, and in case your husband needs to burpee whilst you attain for the Bordeaux, there’s nothing flawed with both alternative.

Your husband could also be chiseled now, however in the long term, it’s the shared laughter and experiences — not the egg yolks — that really bond you.

Greatest,
Remy

My Outdated Writing Accomplice Needs To Reunite: Good Thought or Dangerous?

Expensive Remy,

My outdated writing associate and I had been Hollywood’s dynamic duo, till one fateful day at The Polo Lounge, when an argument obtained out of hand and he launched a shrimp scampi at my head. Sure, we had been younger, risky and aggressive, and our breakup was tabloid-worthy. I’ll always remember the busboy’s face when my associate, in a match of rage, toppled the desk and stormed out.

Quick ahead 10 years, and out of the blue, he’s emailed me, suggesting we reunite. He’s hit onerous instances, and whereas I’ve had success by myself, there’s part of me that wonders if a comeback can be profitable. Might we be the Liam and Noel Gallagher of the writing world? Or would this reunion reignite the outdated tensions that had us brawling over a make-up artist we each had crushes on (who, by the best way, has since left L.A. to start out a wood-turning enterprise in Santa Fe)?

Ought to I reunite with him for outdated instances’ sake, or hold driving solo?

Yours,
Duo Redo?

Expensive Duo Redo?,

Ah, shrimp-throwing at The Polo Lounge — the hallmark of a inventive partnership on hearth. It’s comprehensible that, after such a legendary breakup, a reunion would possibly sound equally electrical. However right here’s the query: what has fueled your success since? Has independence allowed you to thrive, or do you miss the collaborative spark (minus the seafood assault)?

There’s at all times the likelihood that this reunion may reignite the magic — or the insanity. Think about whether or not this partnership would serve you now, or if it’s merely nostalgia calling. Nostalgia is nice, however we nonetheless want to choose and select rigorously the components of the previous we wish to reexperience: ’80s leg heaters and neons? Carry it again. ’80s wooden paneling and aspic? Depart it behind.

So ask your self: Might this collaboration change into a revitalizing chapter, or would it not be like reviving a sitcom that by no means ought to’ve gotten previous its fourth season?

No matter you resolve, keep in mind that your success stands by itself. In case you do workforce up once more, guarantee it’s not for tabloid headlines, however for the inventive synergy you as soon as shared. And maybe hold all seafood properly away from the desk.

Greatest,
Remy

Remy Blumenfeld is a veteran TV producer and founding father of Vitality Guru, which affords enterprise and profession teaching to excessive performers in media. Ship queries to: guru@vitality.guru.

Questions edited by Sarah Mills.

I’m 45 and Taking part in a Grandmother. Am I Performed?

Expensive Remy,
I’ve been an actress for over 20 years, and I’ve simply landed a task in a brand new TV present. Sounds nice, proper? Besides I’ve been forged as a grandmother. I’m 45. I’ve nonetheless bought abs, Remy! I do sizzling yoga 4 instances every week and will in all probability bench-press my 30-year-old co-star, however as a substitute, I’m apparently spending my scenes knitting and reminiscing about “the great ol’ days.”

The actor taking part in my grandson is 30. Thirty! I may date him in actual life (and consider me, I’ve dated in that age vary—they simply have a lot extra zeal!), however as a substitute, I’m taking part in his pricey previous grandmama. I half anticipate my subsequent scene to be me handing him a tough sweet and telling him how I met Grandpa at Woodstock (spoiler: I used to be not alive throughout Woodstock).

I’m apprehensive that is it. That quickly I’ll be forged because the clever neighbor who arms out casseroles or the eccentric aunt who offers cryptic recommendation whereas pruning roses? I’ve already accepted the position, however what does this imply for my future? Ought to I simply begin searching for cardigans and shawls now? Have a walker or two on standby?

Yours,
Grand-dame, not Grandma

Expensive Grand-dame,

You’re proper—Hollywood has this charming behavior of shoving actresses into “older lady” roles lengthy earlier than they’re prepared. When you’re within the grandmother membership, it’s possible you’ll certainly get extra presents for comparable elements. It’s not truthful, but it surely’s actuality.

Nevertheless, because you’ve taken the position, your focus now could be the right way to personal it. What are you able to convey to this character that makes her unforgettable? You will have the prospect to play this position in a approach that fully upends the same old expectations. Consider it as your grandmother—one who does sizzling yoga, benches 200 kilos, and remains to be posting thirst traps on Instagram.

It’s additionally about considering long-term. Sure, this position may very well be the primary of many grandmother presents, however you possibly can nonetheless management what you do subsequent. Begin strategizing for roles that break the mildew. A grandmother who leads her personal heist? Who’s the middle of a love quintangle? Who’s the bodyguard to the president throughout an alien assault?

Keep important however play versatile,
Yours,
Remy

Assist! My Intestine Instincts Have Deserted Me!

Expensive Remy,
I’ve been a casting director for over a decade, and for many of that point, I used to be the individual everybody known as after they wanted an actor who may carry a movie. I had an unshakable intuition—like I may spot expertise from throughout the room, even when they have been simply there to drop off headshots. I as soon as forged a lead actor primarily based solely on how they carried a chair out of the ready room (it was measured however soulful and put me in thoughts of a younger Gregory Peck). I’m happy to say that call labored out—similar to all of the others.

Then final yr, I made an enormous mistake. We have been casting the male lead for a high-budget musical adaptation, and I believed I discovered the proper man. He cried throughout his audition—actually, tears streaming down his face—and I used to be satisfied we’d struck gold. I believed to myself, “This man will get an Oscar. I’ll get an Oscar. We’ll all get Oscars,” like I used to be channeling Oprah Winfrey.

However as soon as we bought to set and the cameras began rolling for actual, it was like somebody flipped a change. His efficiency was so picket, I half-expected him to begin sprouting branches and have a household of bullfinches nest in him. It seems his huge emotional audition was due to an aggressive bout of hay fever, not any precise performing means.

All of a sudden, I’ve misplaced all religion in my decision-making. Now I can’t even make up my thoughts whether or not I would like oat milk or almond in my latte, not to mention forged the following star. Yesterday, I stood in entrance of my closet for quarter-hour, debating whether or not my footwear from 2010 have been classic sufficient to put on paradoxically or if I ought to simply purchase new ones. What do I do, Remy? Is my profession doomed due to one man and a rogue pollen depend?

Yours,
Forged Adrift

Expensive Forged Adrift,

You’re not over. Making choices in casting means taking dangers, and generally these dangers backfire. It’s unattainable to be proper each time. Should you have been, you wouldn’t be taking sufficient chances.

This one feels enormous as a result of the results are public, however let’s be sincere—you didn’t make this determination in isolation. Administrators and producers backed you, which implies everybody noticed what you noticed. That ought to let you know one thing: your intuition remains to be robust. You simply bought unfortunate this time. All of us have our day of reckoning finally, and you must maybe be glad that the best adversary you have got confronted is pollen.

You’re second-guessing your self on every thing as a result of this one good selection has knocked your confidence. One of the best ways to maneuver previous it? Discuss to your friends within the business. Everybody—everybody—has made a foul name in some unspecified time in the future. Amy Heckerling recovered from ‘Look Who’s Speaking Too,’ the Wachowskis from ‘Jupiter Ascending,’ and Ang Lee from ‘Gemini Man.’ It’s not concerning the mistake; it’s about the way you get well from it.

You’ve constructed your profession by trusting your intestine, and one misstep doesn’t erase that. Get again on the market and make the following nice casting alternative.

Warmly,
Remy

I Lengthy to Be A part of a Energy Couple — So Why Am I Caught as a Energy Single?

Expensive Remy,
I’m a author who’s spent the final ten years clawing my approach up the Hollywood ladder. I’ve achieved the grind—scripts for kids’s exhibits, cleaning soap operas, no matter I may get. And eventually, I’ve damaged into premium drama. I’ve had just a few issues optioned, and considered one of my scripts was truly changed into a pilot, which just about bought picked up. Should you squint, you possibly can see me simply brushing up in opposition to success.

However right here’s the factor: all of the big-name writers I like are a part of Hollywood energy {couples}. You understand, those who’re relationship A-list actors or married to top-tier producers. I’m not asking for a lot—simply somebody who can assist me navigate this city whereas trying fabulous in a designer tuxedo. Somebody who my identify may be linked to on Getty Photos, or that we are able to fuse collectively, like ‘Brangelina.’

I’ve been swiping by means of relationship apps like a maniac, but it surely’s all mistaken. Realtors, software program engineers—there was even somebody actually into making sourdough bread. How is sourdough bread going to assist me get into Sundance, Remy? I’m in search of a man who understands that I’m solely two scripts away from being anyone and, ideally, has entry to unique after-parties.

Am I being shallow? Possibly. However is it an excessive amount of to ask for love and a profession enhance?

Yours,
Energy Single

Expensive Energy Single,

Should you’re seeking to be in an influence couple proper now, you’re simply going to be somebody well-known’s plus-one. Energy {couples} are made up of two individuals who’ve each made it, and proper now, you’re nonetheless in your approach up. One of the best transfer? Focus in your profession first. Construct your identify. Then, while you’ve made it, you received’t want another person’s fame to spice up you—you’ll be equals.

In any relationship, particularly one within the highlight, stability and equality are essential. Should you rush into one thing the place there’s a big imbalance—whether or not in fame, success, or affect—it might probably create stress that undermines the connection earlier than it even begins. Actual energy {couples} are constructed on mutual respect, and that respect comes from each folks having the ability to stand on their very own.

The profession comes first. The appropriate relationship will comply with while you’re prepared, and it’ll be primarily based on who you might be, not who they’re.

Yours,
Remy

***

Remy Blumenfeld is a veteran TV producer and founding father of Vitality Guru, which presents enterprise and profession teaching to excessive performers in media. Ship queries to: guru@vitality.guru.

Questions edited by Sarah Mills.

Instagram Makes Me Really feel Like a Sham

Pricey Remy,

Do you suppose it’s doable to be well-known today with out being chronically on-line?

I like being a singer-songwriter, however social media makes me really feel responsible. I’ve a social media supervisor who replies to followers in my “voice,” nevertheless it’s not me—it’s a digital ghost. Folks suppose I’m responding, nevertheless it’s really a 20-year-old dealing with 5 different accounts. I really feel false.

The irony? My subsequent album is all about being true to your self. How can I put that on the market once I’m not even being true in my smallest interactions? Is that this simply how issues are actually, or would possibly there be one other means?

Yours,

Related and Contrite

Pricey Related and Contrite,

Social media has actually modified how we join with audiences. It’s robust to reconcile the stress to be out there 24/7 with the need to stay genuine. However right here’s a thought: Do you have to reply to each remark on your artwork to be significant?

It’s doable to have interaction together with your followers with out being chained to your telephone. Deal with moments that really feel real—whether or not that’s via fastidiously curated replies or occasional direct interactions. You don’t have to answer each message to point out up authentically. And mastering the proper emoji gained’t make it easier to write higher songs.

The hot button is steadiness. Your followers observe you on your music, not on your remark part. Keep true to your album’s message and ensure your on-line presence seems like an extension of that, slightly than a contradiction.

Be as actual as your lyrics—and go away the 24/7 presence to the bots,

Remy

Assist! I Can’t Cease Saying ‘Sure’!

Pricey Remy,

I’m featured on a significant TV present that facilities on improv, and first off, I really feel very blessed to have this job. All of my siblings work in actual property, so I depend myself fortunate I’ve by no means needed to promote a apartment with dry rot and a tub that doubles as a studying nook.

However, Remy, I believe improv is perhaps a illness. The longer I do it, the extra the idea of “YES AND” has absorbed into the core of my being. You already know what I’m speaking about: the concept that an improviser should at all times say “sure” to any concept thrown their option to hold a scene flowing. I believe this is the reason improvisers are thought of overly constructive folks—and why we don’t get invited to many dinner events.

“YES AND” has seeped into my day-to-day life. I discover myself agreeing to every thing. A highway journey via Appalachia in my pal’s Ford Transit, which they’ve transformed into a house after watching too many TikTok van-life movies? “Sure, and I’ll deliver the snacks.” A double date with a MAGA bimbo? “Sure, and the primary spherical’s on me.” A visitor look at my pal’s child bathe for his or her new Maine Coon? “Sure, and I’ll sing ‘Isn’t She Pretty’ by Stevie Surprise.”

It’s a behavior I can’t shake. I hold discovering myself in conditions that aren’t “me,” and I don’t know the way I obtained there. The opposite day, a pal requested me to buff their automobile. Suffice it to say, their automobile is gleaming, and I’m exhausted. I lengthy for a nap.

Yours in compulsive congeniality,

Too-Good-to-’No’

Pricey Too-Good-to-’No’,

It seems like “YES AND” has taken up more room in your life than it ought to. Whereas it’s a superb software on stage, it’s leaving you exhausted in your private life. Have you ever thought of that saying “no” may very well be its personal type of improvisation? Turning one thing down may open new potentialities for you—ones which can be simply as inventive however much less tiring.

We’re typically instructed that saying sure to every thing will open us as much as journey, however you solely have so many hours in a day, it doesn’t matter what each productiveness podcast would possibly inform you. Use them mindfully, not recklessly. Consider your schedule as a fastidiously curated Pinterest board, not an overflowing bulletin board in a frat home.

What would possibly occur in case you began to switch just a few “sure” moments with “no, however…”? That means, you’re nonetheless open to alternatives whereas carving out time for your self, which each performer wants. Improv is supposed to boost your creativity, not deplete your vitality. Possibly the following scene you have to construct is the one the place you lastly get that nap.

Keep spontaneous, however go away some room to breathe,

Remy

I Solid My Pals’ Youngsters And Now They Hate Me

Pricey Remy,

A bizarre facet impact of working in actuality TV for the final 25 years is that it appears to have made me lose contact with precise actuality.

I’m at present overseeing a brand new fly-on-the-wall sequence that can deal with households with unruly children. Suppose Supernanny US meets The Kardashians, although with a smaller faux tan funds. We’re deep in casting, and as a hands-on government, I’ve stored my eyes peeled for good households.

So, it felt too good to be true once I was invited to my associates’ house for ceremonial dinner. Their two children, ages 7 and 11, are just like the spawn of Devil. Throughout cocktail hour, the youngest managed to injure a caterer with a Tonka truck. By dessert, the eldest had fat-shamed two company and each launched into an obscenity-laced re-enactment of Yellowjackets.

Because the night time ended, I pulled my associates apart and requested in the event that they’d need to be on the present. They have been mortified. Apparently, they don’t see their children as unruly, a lot much less match for a present about misbehaving kids. They haven’t spoken to me since, regardless of the apology bouquet I despatched.

I notice now I obtained overexcited and forgot they’re actual folks (with the quantity of Botox they’ve had, it does typically appear like they’re behind a filter). How can I restore the injury? And the way do I hold a more healthy distance between my work and private life?

Yours in remorse,

Actuality Verify Wanted

Pricey Actuality Verify Wanted,

It’s straightforward to see how, within the second, you bought carried away. If you work in an trade that thrives on drama, it may be tempting to see each chaotic ceremonial dinner as casting gold. However your mates doubtless felt blindsided—and presumably embarrassed—by the suggestion that their children belong on actuality TV. They in all probability envision their children turning into medical doctors or, worse, Presidents.

How are you going to reconnect with them on a human degree? Possibly begin with a heartfelt apology that doesn’t contain flowers or meals—only a real dialog the place you possibly can clarify your pleasure and reassure them that your friendship issues greater than the following casting choice. Are you able to remind them of higher occasions you’ve spent collectively, notably ones involving the children—in case you can bear to mirror on these moments?

If that fails, perhaps attempt a special strategy: their little ones clearly have chutzpah and vitality—perhaps they’d respect your steerage in nurturing their inventive tendencies. Flattery will get you in all places. Maybe you possibly can assist them discover drama courses or scripts to channel their vitality into. Simply steer them away from gore—much less Yellowjackets, extra Massive Chook.

As for the longer term, do not forget that not each real-life situation is supposed for tv. Be a human first. Simply because somebody’s life seems “TV-worthy,” it doesn’t imply they need it filmed.

Better of luck getting again in your associates’ good facet,

Remy

***

Remy Blumenfeld is a veteran TV producer and founding father of Vitality Guru, which provides enterprise and profession teaching to excessive performers in media. Ship queries to: guru@vitality.guru.

Questions edited by Sarah Mills.

Assist! My Faux “Showmance” Is Turning Into the Actual Factor!

Pricey Remy,

For the final six months, I’ve been in a pretend relationship with a pop star. I’m an actor—simply breaking into the massive leagues—and abruptly, I’ve obtained a complete “workforce” round me.

You recognize the drill: PR reps, non-public cooks, and even an aesthetician. (Once I first heard that phrase, I believed they mentioned “obstetrician” and practically handed out. However apparently, an aesthetician offers with pores and skin, not infants.)

Remy—have you ever ever met PR folks? They’re terrifying. They speak at a velocity past human comprehension. And my workforce rapidly determined {that a} faux romance between me and one other rising star—this pop singer—can be nice PR for us each. So, cue the staged paparazzi photographs of me backstage at her live performance, faux photographs of us boarding a non-public jet at Austin-Bergstrom, and tacky snaps of us sharing a Stanley cup on fifth Avenue. (Two straws, one cup. Yikes.)

The issue? I’m really head over heels for her. For actual.

I daydream about braiding her hair, shopping for us matching slankets, and taking her out on a two-person pedal boat. I even fantasize about constructing her a cabin within the woods with a recording studio for her, a dojo for me, and a jetty for us to go fly fishing.

However right here’s the kicker: I can’t inform anybody. My PR workforce has the entire relationship mapped out. We’re scheduled to “break up” round Thanksgiving (the Instagram announcement is already drafted, font and colour scheme included), and after that, I’m presupposed to cease shaving till Halloween to persuade the general public I’ve gone “off the rails.”

Remy, I’m misplaced. What ought to I do? I’m a hopeless romantic, and I’ve fallen for somebody in a PR stunt.

Sincerely,
A Cherished-Up Main Man

Pricey Cherished-Up Main Man,

Ah, sure. The wild world of PR. I’ve encountered PR of us earlier than, and let me inform you—they are often terrifying, particularly once they’re speaking about “methods” like your beard timeline. However let’s get severe for a second.

You’re navigating a brand new degree of fame, which comes with some PR theatrics, certain. However let’s not lose sight of one thing essential: your emotions. You’re caught between a rock and a tough place (or, in your case, between a non-public jet and a Stanley cup). PR can generally blur the strains between actuality and narrative, however actual feelings like yours want their very own house to breathe.

First issues first—speak to your workforce. PR of us usually see shoppers as avatars of their media chessboard, nevertheless it’s time to remind them you’re human, not some starry-eyed Pac-Man gobbling up PR dots. Be trustworthy about how this faux romance is affecting you mentally and emotionally. Transparency would possibly result in a greater technique that respects each your emotions and your profession.

Lastly, ask your self: does this romance have a shot exterior of the limelight? Does your pop star dream of wooden cabins and matching slankets? Does she even like fly fishing? These questions matter if you would like an actual relationship, not only a curated one for social media.

Maintain me up to date—I’m rooting so that you can discover a love that’s extra than simply PR stunts and Instagram filters.

Remy 

My Job is Homicide… Actually.

Pricey Remy,

Einstein as soon as mentioned that the definition of madness is doing the identical factor over and over and anticipating totally different outcomes. I’m satisfied he was speaking about homicide documentaries.

I used to like being a documentary filmmaker—it’s taken me everywhere in the world, flexed my educational muscle tissue (I majored in Anthropology at Yale, with a minor in Primate Evolution), and allowed me to inform some distinctive tales.

However for the previous 5 years, it’s been nothing however homicide docs. On daily basis, it’s the identical: filming drone photographs of grassy marshlands the place a Jane Doe’s shoe was discovered, interviewing coroners who all use the identical haunting tone, and listening to the unhappy cello soundtracks that now dominate my Spotify algorithm. I even have the telephone numbers of each pathologist from Seattle to Orlando saved in my contacts.

Frankly, I discover the world’s obsession with homicide disturbing. It’s as if humanity has gone “sexy for murder,” and I’m its reluctant provider.

I believed I noticed a light-weight on the finish of the tunnel when an outdated exec known as me to ask if I wished to attempt one thing new. Nevertheless it turned out to be… a homicide podcast.

Remy—assist me. Do I hold taking place this darkish, bloody path, or do I give up whereas I nonetheless have some sanity left? I dream of doing a documentary on regenerative agriculture within the Decrease Mekong. However who am I kidding?

Sincerely,
Caught in a Useless-Finish Job

Pricey Caught in a Useless-Finish Job,

I really feel your ache. Your world is coloured in crime-scene tape, and I can see why you would possibly need to movie actually the rest—perhaps a heartwarming story about alpacas?

However let’s not be too hasty. Homicide documentaries are their very own type of anthropology. They discover human habits, social reactions, and even cultural taboos. The fascination with dying is nothing new; humanity’s been obsessive about it since, properly, eternally. So, don’t be too onerous on your self for being part of this style—in spite of everything, it’s not like we’re nonetheless placing heads on spikes, proper?

Possibly the issue isn’t the subject material, however the truth that it’s change into so formulaic. There’s extra to those tales than crime scenes. What concerning the lives of these left behind? How do communities rebuild? Are there attention-grabbing, untold narratives inside these tragedies that might reignite your ardour?

Why not take the homicide podcast supply however use it as a stepping stone to department out? Concurrently, begin engaged on that Decrease Mekong undertaking. You by no means know—you would possibly discover a method to merge your two worlds. In spite of everything, who says the Mekong doesn’t have its personal darkish secrets and techniques?

Cling in there, and don’t declare time of dying in your profession simply but.

Remy

Am I Too Stunning For My Personal Good?

Pricey Remy,

It pains me to be penning this, as I take into account myself far above such issues. However I’ve no selection.

To place it modestly, I’m one of the well-known actresses on the planet. I’ve been known as a “display darling,” a “Hollywood doyenne,” and even a “nationwide treasure.”

Naturally, when a serious studio approached me to make a biopic of my life, I agreed instantly. It might be a criminal offense to disclaim the general public my story.

However then got here the horror: the casting course of. The actresses they’re suggesting to play me are, frankly, insulting. Scrawny, quirky creatures that wouldn’t look misplaced promoting cleansing merchandise on cable TV—definitely not headlining a field workplace hit.

Remy, should I settle for that magnificence like mine can’t be replicated? Ought to I simply scrap the undertaking and fireplace my agent (it will be my third  one this 12 months)?

Sincerely,
A Displeased Doyenne

Pricey Displeased Doyenne

Hollywood casting is like relationship. Typically, the proper match isn’t apparent at first look.

Casting administrators search for extra than simply bodily magnificence (although it’s clear that’s your prime concern). They take into account the intangible qualities that make somebody such as you a real star. It’s not nearly discovering somebody with excellent cheekbones or a camera-ready smile—it’s about capturing your essence. Give it some thought: your speech patterns, your distinctive gait, the way in which you throw a look that might kill when somebody dares carry you the fallacious espresso. That’s what they’re making an attempt to solid.

And let’s be trustworthy—magnificence requirements have developed because you first hit the scene. Hollywood isn’t all about shiny perfection anymore. That “quirky” actress you dismissed would possibly shock you with how properly she captures the internal you, even when she’s not your bodily twin.

As on your agent—perhaps decelerate on the firings. Going by three brokers in a 12 months is a crimson flag, even on this city. Maintain an open thoughts, belief the method (sure, I do know it’s a cliché), and do not forget that a biopic isn’t nearly self-importance—it’s about legacy.

Remy 

***

Remy Blumenfeld is a veteran TV producer and founding father of Vitality Guru, which gives enterprise and profession teaching to excessive performers in media. Ship queries to: guru@vitality.guru.

Questions edited by Sarah Mills.

I’m a Bollywood Bond. Why Do They Preserve Placing Me in Sweater Vests?

Expensive Remy,

I’m a working actor of Indian origin, and I’ve a dilemma that retains displaying up like a nasty sequel. Time after time, I’m solid in roles described because the “horny, masculine, roguish heart-stealer,” you understand, the man with the throw-down power who makes everybody weak on the knees. Naturally, I’m flattered. Who wouldn’t wish to be Bollywood Bond or the Maharaja of Mischief?

However right here’s the twist: after I present up on set, the power shifts. All of a sudden, the author or producer decides my character wants a pair of thick-rimmed glasses or a sweater vest. They begin asking me to tone it down, be a bit extra “mental,” or worse, “adorkable.” One minute, I’m imagined to be a sultry love curiosity, and the subsequent, I’m handing out funding suggestions in an ungainly accent.

This has occurred extra occasions than I care to rely. I used to be solid as a dashing physician in a single collection—assume ER meets Gray’s Anatomy—however by the point we had been capturing, I used to be a bumbling GP who couldn’t discover a pulse. In one other gig, I used to be imagined to be a suave con artist, however they rewrote me right into a neurotic accountant who couldn’t con his means out of a paper bag.

I’m beginning to really feel like my swagger is threatening, however I don’t perceive why. Ought to I preserve enjoying alongside and money the checks, or is it time to push again and ask for the function I used to be solid in? Remy, I want your knowledge on this one.

Sincerely, The Maharaja of Combined Alerts

Expensive Maharaja of Combined Alerts,

First off, let me say that I’m totally entertained by your skill to go from Bollywood Bond to bumbling GP with such finesse. You’ve clearly obtained the vary and a humorousness that might allure the socks off anybody—glasses or no glasses!

It’s perplexing, isn’t it, that you just’re solid as a number one man, however by the point you get to set, you’re being requested to channel your internal tax accountant? It sounds such as you’re being invited to a cocktail party as the primary course however getting served because the aspect salad as an alternative. Not fairly the dish they promised!

Let’s dig into this a bit. Is it potential that these well-meaning producers and writers try to suit you right into a field they’re extra snug with? Maybe they see your charisma and it feels too highly effective, too unpredictable—such as you’re about to trigger a mass outbreak of swooning that the viewers isn’t ready for. So, they throw on the glasses, considering it’s going to tone issues down and make you extra “relatable.”

However what to do? You can preserve enjoying alongside—in spite of everything, you’re turning these curveballs into performances that stand out, and the checks are nonetheless clearing. But when this sample is beginning to grate on you (and who may blame you?), perhaps it’s time for a dialog. Not a confrontation, however a curious exploration.

How wouldn’t it really feel to ask the subsequent author or producer why they wish to make this transformation? What’s their imaginative and prescient, and the way do they see your character becoming into it? Might you gently level out that this wasn’t the power they solid you for and that you just’re greater than able to delivering the heart-stealer they initially envisioned? They might not notice the implications of their decisions till somebody, such as you, raises the problem.

And bear in mind, even when they put you in a sweater vest, that doesn’t imply the swagger has to go. You’re the Maharaja of Combined Alerts—if anybody can stroll this tightrope, it’s you.

Preserve charming,
Remy

Am I a Prop Grasp—Or a Plagiarist?

Expensive Remy,

I ought to begin by saying: I’m not happy with myself.

I’m a prop grasp—considerably reluctantly, I would add. My father was within the enterprise, and his father earlier than him—it was inevitable.

I even have a warehouse in Atwater Village the place I organize personal excursions of my assortment. It dietary supplements my earnings (we really are in a cost-of-living disaster, Remy).

Individuals like to swing by for a barely different vacationer expertise, the place they ooh and aah in any respect the props I’ve lovingly created through the years—it’s all feather boas, leather-bound books, and vintage medical tools (hit me up if you happen to want a Victorian drip stand).

Right here’s the place issues get a bit of spicy. The most important draw for guests is a legacy merchandise from the set of a well-known film franchise I labored on. I greatest not let you know the specifics lest I reveal my identification, however let’s simply say: it’s a automobile that travels by house. Sadly, I misplaced the unique merchandise on set. And the one I’ve in my possession is… a substitute I made.

I assumed nobody could be the wiser, however a latest customer advised me they believed they’d seen the merchandise in storage at a studio lot just lately. I laughed it off as their mistake, however I haven’t slept since. What in the event that they go examine and notice I’ve been promoting tickets to see a forgery?

Ought to I get forward of this and are available clear? Or wait it out and hope for one of the best? I’ve even contemplated working away to Panama to start out a brand new life, however I actually don’t do nicely with humidity.

Yours, Prop Tart

Expensive Prop Tart,

To begin with, I feel we’ve all dabbled in a bit of profession embellishment on occasion—Hollywood’s constructed on smoke and mirrors, in spite of everything. However you’ve obtained an issue, and it’s not the local weather in Panama (humidity is certainly unforgiving).

The query is: how lengthy do you wish to lose sleep over this? The guilt—and the potential discovery—will dangle over your head like a increase mic simply out of body. Honesty might sound terrifying proper now, but it surely’s doubtless your greatest plan of action.

You can even spin this example into one thing intelligent. How about reframing it as a take a look at of your visitors’ “prop information”? The actual followers would catch on, and people who don’t are simply comfortable to see the shiny object. “Guess which one’s actual” may grow to be a part of the attract! Consider it because the Willy Wonka golden ticket of prop excursions.

However on the core of it, it’s about integrity. Might you sleep higher at night time understanding you’ve come clear? Possibly you don’t must make a grand confession, however you might subtly shift the narrative: “It is a recreation of the unique,” you might say. The reality, with only a sprinkle of theater.

Strive to not lose your cool. And if you happen to do— you little question have at the least ten ornamental followers to select from. You’ve obtained this.

Remy

Assist! My Outdated Mentor Is Driving Me Mad!

Expensive Remy,

Let me let you know about Steve (not his actual identify).

Steve has been my mentor now for 30 years—ever since he was a visitor lecturer on my Directing course at UCLA. Again then, I seemed as much as him an amazing deal; he had a clutch of awards for characteristic movies he’d helmed, was in demand, and—unrelated—saved a cigar cutter on his key chain, which I assumed was cool.

Smash minimize to 2024, and I’ve grow to be undeniably profitable. Boasting isn’t actually one thing that comes naturally to me, however for the needs of this letter, I’ll let you know that I’ve had a golden profession—I’ve been featured in The Hollywood Reporter greater than as soon as!

Steve, alternatively, appears to have peaked within the ’90s: making the kind of schmaltzy rom-coms that simply don’t minimize it in as we speak’s panorama. The difficulty is: it hasn’t dawned on him that I don’t want his recommendation anymore. I’ve surpassed him.

He nonetheless calls my landline, hoping to proffer what he calls his “Phrases of Knowledge,” emails me prolonged theses on the place he sees a franchise I’ve been engaged on going, and refers to me at business events as his “protégée.” All in all, it’s a bit of embarrassing—particularly when he says issues like “slay” and “brat summer season” to attempt to present he’s maintaining with youthful audiences.

Remy—I feel it’s time to let go of my mentor. How do I let him down gently?

Mentee No Extra

Expensive Mentee No Extra,

First off, congratulations in your success—it sounds such as you’ve labored laborious to earn that golden profession. However ah, Steve, bless his coronary heart, appears to be residing in a time warp, nonetheless clinging to these late ’90s vibes. Whereas he’s outdated in additional methods than simply his vocabulary (I’d say your Steve may do with a “Brat Summer season” to assist him sit back a bit), it’s clear his coronary heart’s in the precise place.

Now, find out how to let him down gently? As an alternative of “dumping” your mentor (a slightly harsh time period for somebody who’s supported you for 30 years), may you pivot the connection? Might it grow to be much less about his “Phrases of Knowledge” and extra about an occasional nostalgic check-in? You can inform him, “Steve, I’ve actually appreciated your recommendation through the years, however I’m in a special place now. I’m targeted on new challenges and discovering my very own means ahead.” This fashion, you honor what he’s executed for you with out making him really feel irrelevant.

Burning bridges ought to at all times be a final resort—as a result of, let’s be sincere: you by no means know when Steve’s skillset could be of use as soon as extra. Who’s to say 2025 received’t deliver a renewed urge for food for plots involving cheerleaders falling for geeks, long-lost equivalent twins, or ‘glow-ups’ to win the center of the soccer captain?

And hey, who is aware of? Possibly there’s some knowledge in these phrases, even when they’re buried underneath layers of dated pop-culture references. 

So maybe preserve the landline, however let the “protégée” title fade out with Steve’s cigar cutter.

Remy

***

Remy Blumenfeld is a veteran TV producer and founding father of Vitality Guru, which presents enterprise and profession teaching to excessive performers in media. Ship queries to: guru@vitality.guru.

Questions edited by Sarah Mills.

Assist! Now That I’m a Dad, I’m Having Bother Leaping Throughout Buildings

Expensive Remy,

I’ve been a stunt performer for 20 years, and nothing compares to the fun of freefalling off a cliff or racing via a burning constructing. However final month, my profession confronted its largest problem but: I grew to become a father.

My daughter was much-wanted, and I had all these wild goals of instructing her stunts when she bought older. I even appeared up toddler trapeze lessons. My spouse thought I used to be nuts.

However the second she arrived, every part modified. She’s so tiny, so fragile, and all of a sudden, all I need to do is defend her. I was fearless, however now I can’t even take into consideration doing the stunts I as soon as liked.

I haven’t been again to work, despite the fact that my paternity go away ended two weeks in the past. I’ve been ghosting my agent, too. For the primary time, I’m seeing myself as flesh and bone, and I can’t danger getting damage. However I would like to supply for my household, and my spouse’s on my case to snap out of it.

Assist me out,
Stunt Double in Bother
(Despatched second-class mail as a result of why does every part have to be so fast?!)

Expensive Stunt Double in Bother,

First off, congratulations on changing into a father! It appears like your infant has already pulled off the best stunt of all—flipping your life the wrong way up.

So, what’s actually modified? You’ve spent a long time defying gravity, embracing hazard, and pushing your limits. Now, with a brand new life relying on you, these limits are all of a sudden extra actual. However what if this shift isn’t about shedding your edge, however redefining what bravery means to you?

You talked about wanting to guard your daughter, and that intuition is highly effective. However what if defending her isn’t nearly staying protected, but in addition exhibiting her learn how to stay totally—even with concern within the combine? How may you steadiness the have to be there for her with the drive to proceed doing what you like? You will be protecting and a daredevil—assume extra Liam Neeson in ‘Taken,’ much less Marlin from ‘Discovering Nemo.‘

Image your self in your stunt gear, able to tackle a problem, together with your daughter watching. What would you like her to see? Somebody who’s fearless, or somebody who’s brave regardless of concern.

You’ve taken on numerous bodily challenges—might this be the psychological and emotional problem you didn’t see coming? And will the knowledge that comes with fatherhood truly make you a greater, smarter stuntman?

Lastly, what wouldn’t it seem like to ease again into work at a tempo that feels proper? Perhaps some stumbles and pratfalls to begin with, and work your means as much as the odd ravine vault?

You’ve bought so much to juggle, however generally the bravest factor isn’t to leap—it’s to pause.

Take it one step at a time,

Remy

I’m a Script Physician With a Profession That Wants Fixing

Expensive Remy,

Ever heard of a script physician? We’re those who swoop in when a script’s in hassle, patching up plot holes, fixing timelines, making every part click on. And it’s about as glamorous as stitching up a tire.

I do know this as a result of I’m one. And I hate it.

I began out in my 20s engaged on ‘locked room’ mysteries. I had a knack for untangling complicated tales, and earlier than I knew it, I grew to become Hollywood’s go-to fixer. However this wasn’t the dream. I wished to be the one with “Created by [name redacted]” on the finish of the credit, not the ghost within the machine who makes another person’s imaginative and prescient work.

Now, I watch youthful writers get their massive breaks whereas I’m introduced in final minute to save lots of the day, usually and not using a credit score. The world is passing me by, and I’m left questioning—ought to I push for my goals, or ought to I be content material with the (admittedly profitable) area of interest I’ve carved out?

Yours,
Doct-ugh

Expensive Doct-ugh,

You’re the one who fixes the unsolvable, however now you’re grappling with your individual plot twist. How did you find yourself because the script physician moderately than the creator? And extra importantly, the place do you go from right here?

Let’s begin with this: You’re insanely proficient at one thing most writers discover daunting. Does this really feel like a blessing or a detour out of your true calling? It sounds such as you’re torn between monetary safety and artistic achievement. Have you ever thought of redefining success? What if it’s not nearly recognition, but in addition in regards to the pleasure of making—whether or not it’s your individual work or saving another person’s?

Luck performs a giant position on this trade, and generally, we find yourself excelling the place we least count on it. However what if the script physician and the creator might coexist? Maybe your knack for fixing story issues is the key weapon that helps you create one thing solely your individual. Might it’s the sting it’s worthwhile to craft your masterpiece? Is there a approach to steadiness each, or have they got to be mutually unique?

Visualize the credit rolling in your dream venture—“Created by [name redacted]” in daring—maybe with a rousing closing tune reaching its crescendo as your identify lands on display. Now, take into consideration the trail that will get you there. What steps will you’re taking? What dangers are you prepared to embrace?

You’re at a crossroads, however keep in mind, the very best tales aren’t solved by following a straight line. Typically, it’s the surprising twists that result in probably the most satisfying endings.

Right here’s to crafting your individual story,

Remy

I Caught My Agent in a Compromising Place — And Now He’s Being Bizarre

Expensive Remy,

I’m an actor who’s lastly breaking via, touchdown some first rate roles. Life was good—till lately. I’m additionally homosexual, although I haven’t performed a homosexual character on display but. Earlier this summer time, I made a decision to unwind with a weekend in Provincetown, a spot identified for its seashore, leisure, and, effectively, vibrant environment.

However then issues took a flip. Whereas strolling alongside the dunes, I stumbled upon my agent… in a compromising state of affairs with a few guys. I believed I used to be unshockable, however I admit, I used to be just a little rattled. Earlier than he noticed me, I ducked out—no awkward confrontation, no mess.

The weekend ended, and I figured I used to be within the clear. However at our assembly this week, his entire vibe was off. He was chilly, distant—like he was coping with a complete stranger, not somebody whose profession he’s alleged to be constructing.

Did he see me and now he’s weirded out? Is he embarrassed? Does he assume I’m going to carry it in opposition to him? I don’t need to make it worse, however I additionally don’t need this to mess up my profession. How do I deal with this?

Sincerely,
Provincetown Peeping Tom

Expensive Provincetown Peeping Tom,

Ah, Provincetown—a spot the place you go for a calming weekend and find yourself in a scene straight out of a dramedy. You dealt with your beachside discovery with the finesse of an actor dodging the paparazzi, however it appears that evidently unscripted second is now casting a shadow in your skilled life.

Visualize your subsequent encounter: the air is evident, the strain is gone, and also you’re again to being a dynamic duo. What are you able to do to make that occur?

Let’s take into account this: what for those who defuse the state of affairs with a little bit of humor and honesty? It’s doable your agent did spot you, and now he’s in his personal head, questioning for those who’re judging him. You can clear the air with a lighthearted method—point out your Provincetown journey casually in your subsequent assembly, perhaps even throw in a playful wink. It might sign that you simply’re not holding it in opposition to him, and that you simply’re prepared to maneuver on.

If that feels too daring, deal with reaffirming your skilled relationship. Remind him how a lot you worth his work. Typically, just a little reassurance can thaw even the iciest vibes.

Right here’s to protecting issues skilled—and perhaps including just a little playful aptitude,

Remy

***

Remy Blumenfeld is a veteran TV producer and founding father of Vitality Guru, which provides enterprise and profession teaching to excessive performers in media. Ship queries to: guru@vitality.guru.

Questions edited by Sarah Mills.

Isn’t it Bromantic?

Expensive Remy,

Hollywood can be rocked off its axis to know this, however all will not be properly in my marriage.

I’m in what I’ll reluctantly name a “energy couple” (I hate that phrase; it makes us sound like we run an MLM promoting protein powder). My spouse and I are each world-famous actors and have been married for over a decade.

This yr, I made a film the place I obtained to co-star with my finest man buddy. It’s the stuff desires are product of: Spending each day bro-ing out, facet by facet in make-up, training our stunts collectively, and even studying the most recent TikTok dances. However sadly, my spouse’s jealousy has made it troublesome for me to get pleasure from these Elysian days with him. She says I speak about him on a regular basis, that I’ve better chemistry with him than I ever had together with her, and that he clearly is aware of me in a manner she by no means may.

Whereas the press is joking about my “bromance” with my co-star, my spouse appears severely satisfied there’s one thing extra between us. And, after all, I’d be fortunate if that had been true. He speaks a number of languages, is probably the most bold particular person I do know, and has neck muscle tissue to die for. I may go to sleep listening to his singing voice — it’s like Manuka honey spun by Athena herself. And positive, he makes me really feel like one of the best model of myself once I’m staring into his caramel-brown eyes — however who doesn’t have a buddy like that?

Remy, how can I make my spouse see that I’m dedicated to our marriage and that my relationship with my man buddy is only a friendship?… A beautiful, distinctive, and intoxicating whirlwind of a friendship.

Yours,

A Devoted Husband

Expensive Devoted Husband,

Ah, the basic bromance conundrum — when your coronary heart is torn between two loves: your partner and your finest bro. It’s like a Hollywood rom-com, besides hopefully the script is a bit more nuanced.

First, let’s acknowledge that your spouse’s emotions are legitimate. It’s not straightforward being on the skin wanting in on a relationship as shut as yours together with your co-star. However the excellent news is, she’s extra involved about being ignored than about any actual risk to your marriage.

Now, I’ve to ask — may there be a grain of fact in her considerations? You’ve described your finest buddy in glowing, nearly poetic phrases. It’s one factor to admire somebody, however it’s value contemplating whether or not there may be some unrecognized emotions there. In case you are getting misplaced in his eyes, or transfixed by the sinews of his neck (I didn’t understand there have been exercises that skilled this muscle group — it’s spectacular), it may be value holding area for what this implies. Attraction will be sophisticated, and it doesn’t must imply the tip of your marriage.

That stated, let’s discover how one can reassure your spouse and preserve each relationships. Might there be a strategy to carry your spouse into the fold? Not within the sense of a literal ménage à trois, however by together with her in a number of the enjoyable you and your buddy are having. Shared experiences may assist her really feel extra linked and fewer like she’s competing together with your bestie.

Additionally, attempt flipping the script. Present her how a lot you worth your marriage. Plan some particular time only for the 2 of you — with out your co-star. Reignite that spark with actions that remind you each why you’re one another’s chosen accomplice in life. Perhaps a romantic getaway or a date evening the place you allow discuss of Neck Day on the door.

On the finish of the day, it’s about steadiness. Cherish your bromance, however ensure your spouse is aware of she’s nonetheless primary on the decision sheet.

Yours in harmonious casting,

Remy

My Battle with Schmooze

Expensive Remy,

They are saying that networking is the bedrock of our business, however I feel I’d quite put on polka dot Crocs for the remainder of my life than do one other minute of it.

I’m a author, so I do know that my success is dependent upon constructing connections with producers, administrators and expertise who may assist me land that subsequent commissioned mission. However it all feels so pretend.

I’ve watched pals pinball round Oscars after-parties, rictus grinning at one studio head or one other. I sit in a nook nursing a Negroni Sbagliato, watching them thwack individuals on their Tom Ford-encased shoulders and guffaw at paper-thin jokes. I’ve tried to observe their instance, however it’s excruciating. Networking actually upsets my abdomen. Remy, I feel I’m growing IBS.

Apart from the awkwardness, I really feel like networking is ethically doubtful. How can I say I’m working with individuals who share my genuine objectives when it began with me pretending to love their cufflinks on the Soho Home check-in desk? The most effective artwork is born of honesty, and but right here I’m pretending to care in regards to the Montessori methodology as a result of the director I’m chatting with at an business mixer simply adopted 3-year-old twins and needs “a extra conscious strategy to pedagogy in parenting.”

The final time I approached somebody at a networking occasion, they spent the primary ten minutes considering I used to be the waiter. After I left, I wasn’t positive in the event that they wished my script or the breadsticks.

Remy — assist! What ideas do you may have for somebody who’s allergic to networking?

Yours,

The Man with the Empty Contacts E book

Expensive Man with the Empty Contacts E book,

I really feel your ache. Networking can really feel like a recreation the place everybody’s carrying a masks and holding their true intentions near their chest. However let’s reframe “networking” as “relationship-building.” At its core, it’s about discovering real human connections in a sea of plastic smiles.

Right here’s the factor: Networking doesn’t must be a slick, schmoozy affair. The most effective connections occur if you’re being your genuine self, not if you’re pretending to care about cufflinks or Montessori strategies. Folks on this business worth sincerity greater than you may suppose. So, neglect the onerous promote and deal with making actual connections with individuals who share your passions. Speak about what genuinely excites you, even when it’s as area of interest as your favourite Negroni recipe. The individuals value figuring out will recognize your authenticity, or on the very least, stroll away with an thrilling twist to share with their private mixologist.

And if working a room nonetheless makes your abdomen churn, begin small. Establish a few individuals you admire or share one thing in frequent with and strike up a one-on-one dialog. You may be stunned at how way more snug—and productive—it feels. You possibly can all the time preserve a Bentyl available simply in case.

Bear in mind, a number of the finest offers are revamped espresso or a recreation of pool quite than in a crowded room filled with determined handshakes. So, why not attempt inviting somebody out for a relaxed chat as a substitute of braving the following huge occasion?

High quality over amount, my buddy. A couple of real connections can go a great distance.

Yours in genuine connections,

Remy

Obit Too A lot

Expensive Remy,

I make a dwelling out of dying. Don’t lose your cool — I’m not a hitman or a grave-robber — I write the obituaries for awards ceremonies.

Right here’s the place it will get difficult: In 2024, there are simply so many well-known people who my workload is off the deep finish. After I began out within the ’90s, the variety of individuals the world over who had been well-known was within the 1000’s. In 2024, it have to be within the lots of of 1000’s.

It’s all the time been difficult to choose and select who to cowl annually for the “In Memoriam” sections when awards season rolls round. However the movie star demises are piling up. How do I select whose deaths we report on? Ought to I deal with it like a recreation of Prime Trumps, scoring individuals on classes like philanthropy, awards gained or creative influence? Remy, I by no means wished to play God, I simply wished my phrases learn out by Morgan Freeman often.

Folks suppose all these celebrities are instantly dying at a quicker fee. However there’s no mysterious Hollywood curse — no Dantean satan deal — it’s simply that we’re overpopulated with well-known individuals, and we don’t have the posthumous sources to help this.

Remy, I feel I’m affected by a singular type of burnout. I can’t consider I’m asking this, however are you able to see an answer to the issue? There are simply TOO MANY well-known individuals!

Yours,

Overwhelmed by Obituaries

Expensive Overwhelmed by Obituaries,

Let’s get sensible first. For those who’re feeling swamped, it may be time to undertake a range criterion that’s extra goal than subjective. Consider it as curating a time capsule for the ages. Begin with these whose influence has transcended mere movie star — those that’ve formed tradition, modified lives or pioneered one thing extraordinary. And sure, a little bit of Prime Trumps logic may assist, as chilly as that sounds. Legacy factors depend!

Contemplate collaborating with a various panel of specialists — historians, cultural critics, even followers — that will help you make these robust selections. This manner, the choice course of isn’t simply in your shoulders, and you may guarantee a broader perspective on who really deserves to be remembered. It’s like making a “Folks’s Alternative” award for the dearly departed.

However let’s speak about your burnout. Writing obituaries, particularly for many who’ve impacted so many, will be an emotional grind. It’s not simply in regards to the phrases; it’s about honoring lives in a manner that resonates. Perhaps it’s time to step again and mirror on the tales which have moved you most in your profession. As an alternative of specializing in quantity, why not deal with depth? Highlighting the lives which have profoundly influenced you might rekindle your ardour for this work.

Contemplate writing a sequence of in-depth items on the unsung heroes of Hollywood — those that won’t have made the “In Memoriam” reduce, however whose contributions had been simply as very important. Or maybe you might discover the thought of a “behind-the-scenes” have a look at the “In Memoriam” course of, shedding mild on the emotional and logistical challenges you face on this distinctive function. It might be a strategy to honor those that’ve handed whereas additionally giving a nod to the unsung writers such as you who assist us keep in mind them.

And don’t neglect, it’s okay to take a breather. A brief hiatus may provide the recent perspective it’s essential to sort out your workload with renewed power. Even the Grim Reaper takes a break every now and then.

Yours in everlasting remembrance,

Remy

Remy Blumenfeld is a veteran TV producer and founding father of Vitality Guru, which gives enterprise and profession teaching to excessive performers in media. Ship queries to: guru@vitality.guru.

Questions edited by Sarah Mills.

I Hope My Husband Cha-Cha-Cheats

Pricey Remy,

Earlier this 12 months, my husband bought that decision each celeb goals of.

No – to not be the subsequent James Bond, headline the Tremendous Bowl, or sing with Elmo on Sesame Avenue.

He was requested to be on Dancing with the Stars.

Naturally, he’s tremendous psyched about this. He has had DWTS on his imaginative and prescient board for years and is hoping it’d carry him higher performing roles. Plus, he began his profession acting on cruise liners and has usually talked of how he misses dressing in lycra on the day by day.

The twist is: I hope he cheats on me together with his dance associate. Our associates have teased me that he might run off together with his beautiful co-star. And the tabloids have gleefully rubbed their arms collectively printing articles about how any partner of a DWTS contestant ought to fear about them staying devoted.  However they’d all be shocked to know the reality.

As a result of: I’d be delighted if he began an affair. My husband seems to me for many of his social interplay and – whereas I’m usually out with gal buddies – he haunts our dwelling like Casper the Friendless Ghost. I’d similar to another person to take him off my arms for a bit, in order that I may have some treasured ‘me time’.

So whereas I must be praying he will get a dance associate that isn’t his sort, I’m truly hoping she has blonde hair and a lisp (he has had a  crush on Kelly Ripa since eternally). And whereas most wives would desperately need their husband to be given the sexless, comedy dances, I hope they get him straight right into a sensual Rumba. As a lot skin-to-skin contact as attainable. Legs in all places.

Remy, these ideas are plaguing me. I didn’t understand I wished my husband out of my hair a lot. Is it time to take inventory of my marriage?

Weary of Wifing.

Pricey Weary of Wifing,

Your letter reveals a fancy mixture of feelings. On one hand, you yearn for area and independence. On the opposite, you could be craving the fun of jealousy – a sense that may add spark to a relationship. Esther Perel, a famend relationship knowledgeable, means that jealousy can typically be an aphrodisiac, making our companions appear extra fascinating.  And it’s less expensive than oysters, so win win.

Encouraging your husband to seek out hobbies or sports activities may help him construct a extra unbiased social life. This isn’t nearly filling his time however serving to him develop into extra self-sufficient and socially fulfilled, which may finally make him extra fascinating to you.

What actions has he loved previously or proven curiosity in? Might he take up brewing, be a part of a mountaineering group, or reconnect with previous associates? The objective is to assist him discover pleasure and connections exterior of your relationship, which may give you each the area you want. This might additionally enhance his psychological well being and sense of self-worth, making your time collectively extra fulfilling.

And know that yours isn’t an unusual drawback.  There was a lot made in the previous few years round how tough male friendship is, and the way wives and girlfriends are trusted to bridge that hole.  However all will not be misplaced: there are social teams bobbing up for precisely this purpose, and your husband ought to look into them.  Making associates as a grown-up might sound extra daunting than when he was first doing it in class, however a minimum of there’s not the added embarrassment of the clumsiness and hand-me-down wardrobes that accompanied adolescence.

How may your relationship change if he grew to become extra self-sufficient socially? Is that this actually about wanting him to cheat, or extra about discovering stability in your marriage and reigniting the spark?

Yours in syncopation,

Remy

The Horror, The Horror… Of My Profession

Pricey Remy,

Do you assume it’s attainable to flee one’s area of interest?

I’m a author of horror films and – like so a lot of my characters – I’m determined to flee. However as a substitute of being clammed up in a coffin underground or in a serial killer’s attic, I need to escape the pigeonhole I appear to be in.

I fell into the horror style however I don’t thoughts telling you that I’m good at it. Actually good. Consider a terrifying method to kill somebody. I’m certain I can higher it, after which add a cherry on prime (they’re watching their very own demise on a number of screens, or the killer plans to steal their id, beginning with their face.  See?).  Gore, gruesomeness, and gloom are simply my skillset.

The issue is that this: I’m beginning to scare myself. It’s troubling to contemplate what it’s inside me that has given beginning to a lot blood, phlegm, and pus-filled set items. I’ve written characters who’re pushed by evil and a necessity to harm others – and I’ve loved it. What does that say about me?

I’ve thought of branching out into different genres, however every time I attempt to write a spec script that’s exterior of my wheelhouse, the horror comes creeping in. I tried to jot down a river-based journey centered round a household of singing otters that Pixar would have beloved, however the amphibious dynasty drifted right into a bayou and bought eaten one after the other by vengeful crocodiles. Then, my Sondheim-esque musical a few burgeoning love affair throughout prohibition slowly fell aside as I noticed my protagonist was an android faking its humanity. And once I tried to jot down a delicate, household drama, I bought to the closing credit earlier than realizing I had made all of them incestuous.

I’ve spent so lengthy on this specialism that I worry my mind is now wired this manner. Remy, is there any hope for me past the horrorsphere?

Yours,

Horror-Fried

Pricey Horror-Fried,

It’s fascinating how our inventive minds can get splendidly tangled within the webs we weave. The excellent news is that your abilities in horror can truly improve different genres. Have you ever ever thought-about that “Sweeney Todd” is actually a musical a few serial killer? Or that “Scream” blended teen drama with slasher thrills? Even Paul McCartney’s “Frog Track” has a contact of the surreal.  What I’m saying is: don’t beat your self up that you simply carry a contact of the macabre wherever you go.  Horror may be current in different genres.

As an alternative of combating your horror instincts, why not channel them into one thing new? Are you able to create a rom-com with darkish undertones, the place the protagonist’s greatest worry is vulnerability quite than vampires? What a few sci-fi epic the place the horror components spotlight the unknowns of area quite than alien guts?  And, in case you are known as to writing children films, give it one other go.  Your loved ones of otters might already be half-digested in a crocodile’s gullet, however what about writing a horror film for youths?  Give Tim Burton a name in case you have him in your contacts.

Maybe trying to ‘rewire’ your considering is the mistaken method to go about this.  As an alternative, consider your self as beginning at first with a brand new style.  As soon as that hurdle is crossed, you can begin trying to horror as a spice that may add taste to any dish. What sort of story would you inform if you happen to sprinkled only a sprint of it? The objective isn’t to flee your area of interest however to increase it. How can your distinctive perspective carry recent twists to different genres?

Yours in inventive fusion,

Remy

My Dad and mom Hold Photograph-Bombing My Motion pictures

Pricey Remy,

It began out as an in-joke.

Once I landed my first mainstream position, my mother and father had been so excited that I talked the director into giving them cameos. It felt nice on the time – they’ve at all times been my greatest cheerleaders and getting to incorporate them in my journey felt actually particular. They had been like little children on set – my mother flirted with the runners and my dad frolicked within the equipment retailer all day geeking out on filming gear. To him, the digital camera guys had been like superheroes.

Then, the subsequent huge casting I bought, my mother and father assumed they’d be given cameos once more. My mum contacted my agent (they bonded years in the past over a Marry Me Hen recipe) to get the filming dates and instantly booked a blowout for the day earlier than. I went together with it as a result of it had been enjoyable having them on set the primary time, and my Dad had solely damaged one lens cap.

However Remy, it’s getting past the pale now. They’ve been on set with me for each one in all my films, and I’m apprehensive I’ll be the laughing inventory of Hollywood. What if everybody thinks I’m the six-foot toddler who wants the safety blanket of his mother and pop for each position? That my mother brings me cookies for take? And my dad has a ball and bat at hand if I would like distracting in my trailer?

Other than that, will it restrict the roles I can join? Absolutely folks received’t need me for a steamy thriller, or a taut two-hander like Right here’s to You Leo Grande in the event that they assume I include my people as a bundle deal?

I don’t need to harm their emotions – they’re healthful, well-meaning folks – however I have to discover a method to allow them to down gently and minimize the metaphorical umbilical twine.

Remy – how do I dump my mother and father?

Yours,

Too Previous to be Adopted

Pricey Too Previous to be Adopted,

Ah, the candy, suffocating embrace of parental love! It’s heartwarming and mildly claustrophobic. However there’s no have to go full Macauley Culkin but. As an alternative, it sounds prefer it’s time for a delicate intervention.

Setting boundaries doesn’t imply you’re keen on them any much less. How about creating particular moments to have fun your profession that don’t contain being on set? You can host a personal screening occasion for them when your movies premiere, giving them a VIP expertise with out disrupting your skilled life. Or maybe contain them in behind-the-scenes actions that don’t intervene with the manufacturing, like organizing fan occasions?

One other concept is to offer them particular roles that acknowledge their assist however don’t require them to be bodily current on set. Might they be your “official” social media photographers, capturing moments at premieres and occasions? Or perhaps they may assist run your private weblog, sharing tales and updates out of your profession?  In the event that they’re accustomed to the Dewey Decimal System, maybe they may even be your archivists, conserving information of at any time when your identify comes up in print.  

What would a heartfelt dialog appear to be the place you specific your gratitude but additionally your want for skilled independence? Might you body it as a step in direction of your development as an actor, emphasizing how their assist can evolve?

And hey, if you happen to ever want a cookie throughout a tricky shoot, there’s at all times Postmates.

Yours in untethered apron springs,

Remy

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Remy Blumenfeld is a veteran TV producer and founding father of Vitality Guru, which provides enterprise and profession teaching to excessive performers in media. Ship queries to: guru@vitality.guru.

Questions edited by Sarah Mills.