Rosh Hashanah is at all times a complicated vacation: half joyful, half solemn, half celebration, half repentance. However this 12 months is essentially the most complicated I can keep in mind.

Tonight, Jews march off to synagogue (or not) whereas Iranian missiles could also be raining down on Israel. Or Israeli missiles on Iran. We’re conscious that the anniversary of Oct. 7 is on Monday and that Israeli hostages are nonetheless being held by Hamas. We disagree, clearly, on the deserves of the Gaza Conflict and the way in which the Israeli authorities is setting priorities. However we’re all — or least many people are — disoriented, confused, ambivalent and anxious.

A buddy of mine simply despatched me a Rosh Hashanah greeting through which she meant to want me a “a candy new 12 months full of excellent adventures,” however both Freudian-slipped or autocorrected to “a candy new tearful.” That claims all of it.

As painful and divisive because the struggle in Gaza was for American Jews, this new metastasizing of the battle is much more disorienting. Whether or not we supported, opposed, or supported-but-then-opposed the Gaza struggle, it was crammed with anguish: 1000’s of useless and displaced Palestinians, many useless troopers, and, as of this week, 97 Israelis nonetheless held hostage. And after practically a 12 months, for liberal and lots of centrist Jews, the time has lengthy since handed for the Netanyahu authorities to finish the struggle, deliver the Israeli hostages house, and signal a ceasefire deal. 

This spherical is totally different. Not like in Gaza, Israel’s actions in opposition to Hezbollah have been comparatively focused. Every harmless life misplaced is a tragedy, and there have been many Lebanese civilians caught within the crossfire. However there’s no comparability to the tragedy of Gaza. 

And Hezbollah — opposite to the preposterously ignorant statements coming from some ill-informed left-wing idiots — are extensively loathed theocratic terrorists who’ve taken over elements of a rustic that doesn’t need them there, brutalizing its personal residents at any time when crucial. Nor does Hezbollah characterize Palestinians dwelling below occupation; they only characterize Iran’s pursuits in regional dominance. I don’t possess the strategic intelligence to say whether or not assassinating Hassan Nasrallah will advance Israel’s safety or not, however I’m shedding precisely zero tears for him. 

Apart from, even many progressives (although not all) have been impressed by Israel’s focusing on of Hezbollah pagers final month. Once more, there have been some harmless individuals harmed by this assault, however it’s laborious to consider a extra targeted type of counter-terrorism than this. If this motion isn’t justified, what’s?

On the identical time, it’s laborious to belief something the Netanyahu authorities says or does. For now, it seems like Bibi has resisted requires an invasion of Southern Lebanon, however that would change in a second. He’s nonetheless the identical self-serving opportunist who’s prolonging the Gaza Conflict quite than bringing the Israeli hostages house with a ceasefire deal. 

And now Iran. On the one hand, clearly some navy response from Iran needed to have been anticipated. Israel’s devastating blows in opposition to Hezbollah necessitated some type of response, and Iran to seems to have primarily targeted on navy targets. 

However as somebody with family and friends in Israel, and who lived there for 3 years, the movies, the accounts of pals huddling in shelters — all of that is simply heartbreaking. This section of the disaster has — to date, thank God — produced much less anguish than the struggle in Gaza. However it has produced extra anxiousness. What’s going to come subsequent? Will Bibi escalate? Will Iran escalate? 

So, let’s see. There’s heartbreak, anxiousness, ambivalence, assist for Israel, suspicion of Israel’s management, concern for harmless individuals caught within the crossfire, ongoing concern for the residents of Gaza and for the hostages held by Hamas, and, oh proper, the seasonal invitation to evaluate my very own actions and heed the decision of the shofar, but additionally get pleasure from apples and honey and festive meals with household and pals.

What am I forgetting right here? Properly, I haven’t talked about the still-tied American election; the devastation wrought by climate-crisis-enhanced superstorms; the rise in antisemitism, the traumatized responses to it, the exaggeration and exploitation of it. And, you already know, the extraordinary stresses of being a mum or dad and human in 2020s America. 

The rabbi/meditation instructor in me needs to say, each to you and to myself: Wow, that’s quite a bit. 

No, it’s not as a lot as what my pals in Beersheva and Haifa are coping with proper now. Or the individuals I don’t know in Beirut or Rafah and all over the place within the area, who are suffering simply as we do. However self-compassion and knowledge isn’t a contest. Different individuals have it tougher, and that is laborious (or at the very least disorienting and complicated) for everybody.

What helps me domesticate resilience is, at is occurs, a part of Rosh Hashanah as properly: the notice of linear and cyclical time, the turning of seasons and years, and the re-turning to that which is timeless, ever-present, and, it appears, a supply of affection and solace. Holech sovev haruach, v’al svivotav shav haruach, says Ecclesiastes 1:6 — the wind spins round, and the wind returns. 

Whether or not this side of being is God or love or the Universe or just a disposition of thoughts – that query is past my pay grade. However I do know that it’s attainable to expertise each time and the timeless, the insane maelstrom of Rosh Hashanah 5785 and a peace inside and past it, the swirling of the wind and the wind itself. 

Aside from that, I do not know what’s forward. Shana Tova.