I’m a Bollywood Bond. Why Do They Preserve Placing Me in Sweater Vests?
Expensive Remy,
I’m a working actor of Indian origin, and I’ve a dilemma that retains displaying up like a nasty sequel. Time after time, I’m solid in roles described because the “horny, masculine, roguish heart-stealer,” you understand, the man with the throw-down power who makes everybody weak on the knees. Naturally, I’m flattered. Who wouldn’t wish to be Bollywood Bond or the Maharaja of Mischief?
However right here’s the twist: after I present up on set, the power shifts. All of a sudden, the author or producer decides my character wants a pair of thick-rimmed glasses or a sweater vest. They begin asking me to tone it down, be a bit extra “mental,” or worse, “adorkable.” One minute, I’m imagined to be a sultry love curiosity, and the subsequent, I’m handing out funding suggestions in an ungainly accent.
This has occurred extra occasions than I care to rely. I used to be solid as a dashing physician in a single collection—assume ER meets Gray’s Anatomy—however by the point we had been capturing, I used to be a bumbling GP who couldn’t discover a pulse. In one other gig, I used to be imagined to be a suave con artist, however they rewrote me right into a neurotic accountant who couldn’t con his means out of a paper bag.
I’m beginning to really feel like my swagger is threatening, however I don’t perceive why. Ought to I preserve enjoying alongside and money the checks, or is it time to push again and ask for the function I used to be solid in? Remy, I want your knowledge on this one.
Sincerely, The Maharaja of Combined Alerts
Expensive Maharaja of Combined Alerts,
First off, let me say that I’m totally entertained by your skill to go from Bollywood Bond to bumbling GP with such finesse. You’ve clearly obtained the vary and a humorousness that might allure the socks off anybody—glasses or no glasses!
It’s perplexing, isn’t it, that you just’re solid as a number one man, however by the point you get to set, you’re being requested to channel your internal tax accountant? It sounds such as you’re being invited to a cocktail party as the primary course however getting served because the aspect salad as an alternative. Not fairly the dish they promised!
Let’s dig into this a bit. Is it potential that these well-meaning producers and writers try to suit you right into a field they’re extra snug with? Maybe they see your charisma and it feels too highly effective, too unpredictable—such as you’re about to trigger a mass outbreak of swooning that the viewers isn’t ready for. So, they throw on the glasses, considering it’s going to tone issues down and make you extra “relatable.”
However what to do? You can preserve enjoying alongside—in spite of everything, you’re turning these curveballs into performances that stand out, and the checks are nonetheless clearing. But when this sample is beginning to grate on you (and who may blame you?), perhaps it’s time for a dialog. Not a confrontation, however a curious exploration.
How wouldn’t it really feel to ask the subsequent author or producer why they wish to make this transformation? What’s their imaginative and prescient, and the way do they see your character becoming into it? Might you gently level out that this wasn’t the power they solid you for and that you just’re greater than able to delivering the heart-stealer they initially envisioned? They might not notice the implications of their decisions till somebody, such as you, raises the problem.
And bear in mind, even when they put you in a sweater vest, that doesn’t imply the swagger has to go. You’re the Maharaja of Combined Alerts—if anybody can stroll this tightrope, it’s you.
Preserve charming,
Remy
Illustration by Russ Tudor
Am I a Prop Grasp—Or a Plagiarist?
Expensive Remy,
I ought to begin by saying: I’m not happy with myself.
I’m a prop grasp—considerably reluctantly, I would add. My father was within the enterprise, and his father earlier than him—it was inevitable.
I even have a warehouse in Atwater Village the place I organize personal excursions of my assortment. It dietary supplements my earnings (we really are in a cost-of-living disaster, Remy).
Individuals like to swing by for a barely different vacationer expertise, the place they ooh and aah in any respect the props I’ve lovingly created through the years—it’s all feather boas, leather-bound books, and vintage medical tools (hit me up if you happen to want a Victorian drip stand).
Right here’s the place issues get a bit of spicy. The most important draw for guests is a legacy merchandise from the set of a well-known film franchise I labored on. I greatest not let you know the specifics lest I reveal my identification, however let’s simply say: it’s a automobile that travels by house. Sadly, I misplaced the unique merchandise on set. And the one I’ve in my possession is… a substitute I made.
I assumed nobody could be the wiser, however a latest customer advised me they believed they’d seen the merchandise in storage at a studio lot just lately. I laughed it off as their mistake, however I haven’t slept since. What in the event that they go examine and notice I’ve been promoting tickets to see a forgery?
Ought to I get forward of this and are available clear? Or wait it out and hope for one of the best? I’ve even contemplated working away to Panama to start out a brand new life, however I actually don’t do nicely with humidity.
Yours, Prop Tart
Expensive Prop Tart,
To begin with, I feel we’ve all dabbled in a bit of profession embellishment on occasion—Hollywood’s constructed on smoke and mirrors, in spite of everything. However you’ve obtained an issue, and it’s not the local weather in Panama (humidity is certainly unforgiving).
The query is: how lengthy do you wish to lose sleep over this? The guilt—and the potential discovery—will dangle over your head like a increase mic simply out of body. Honesty might sound terrifying proper now, but it surely’s doubtless your greatest plan of action.
You can even spin this example into one thing intelligent. How about reframing it as a take a look at of your visitors’ “prop information”? The actual followers would catch on, and people who don’t are simply comfortable to see the shiny object. “Guess which one’s actual” may grow to be a part of the attract! Consider it because the Willy Wonka golden ticket of prop excursions.
However on the core of it, it’s about integrity. Might you sleep higher at night time understanding you’ve come clear? Possibly you don’t must make a grand confession, however you might subtly shift the narrative: “It is a recreation of the unique,” you might say. The reality, with only a sprinkle of theater.
Strive to not lose your cool. And if you happen to do— you little question have at the least ten ornamental followers to select from. You’ve obtained this.
Remy
Assist! My Outdated Mentor Is Driving Me Mad!
Expensive Remy,
Let me let you know about Steve (not his actual identify).
Steve has been my mentor now for 30 years—ever since he was a visitor lecturer on my Directing course at UCLA. Again then, I seemed as much as him an amazing deal; he had a clutch of awards for characteristic movies he’d helmed, was in demand, and—unrelated—saved a cigar cutter on his key chain, which I assumed was cool.
Smash minimize to 2024, and I’ve grow to be undeniably profitable. Boasting isn’t actually one thing that comes naturally to me, however for the needs of this letter, I’ll let you know that I’ve had a golden profession—I’ve been featured in The Hollywood Reporter greater than as soon as!
Steve, alternatively, appears to have peaked within the ’90s: making the kind of schmaltzy rom-coms that simply don’t minimize it in as we speak’s panorama. The difficulty is: it hasn’t dawned on him that I don’t want his recommendation anymore. I’ve surpassed him.
He nonetheless calls my landline, hoping to proffer what he calls his “Phrases of Knowledge,” emails me prolonged theses on the place he sees a franchise I’ve been engaged on going, and refers to me at business events as his “protégée.” All in all, it’s a bit of embarrassing—particularly when he says issues like “slay” and “brat summer season” to attempt to present he’s maintaining with youthful audiences.
Remy—I feel it’s time to let go of my mentor. How do I let him down gently?
Mentee No Extra
Expensive Mentee No Extra,
First off, congratulations in your success—it sounds such as you’ve labored laborious to earn that golden profession. However ah, Steve, bless his coronary heart, appears to be residing in a time warp, nonetheless clinging to these late ’90s vibes. Whereas he’s outdated in additional methods than simply his vocabulary (I’d say your Steve may do with a “Brat Summer season” to assist him sit back a bit), it’s clear his coronary heart’s in the precise place.
Now, find out how to let him down gently? As an alternative of “dumping” your mentor (a slightly harsh time period for somebody who’s supported you for 30 years), may you pivot the connection? Might it grow to be much less about his “Phrases of Knowledge” and extra about an occasional nostalgic check-in? You can inform him, “Steve, I’ve actually appreciated your recommendation through the years, however I’m in a special place now. I’m targeted on new challenges and discovering my very own means ahead.” This fashion, you honor what he’s executed for you with out making him really feel irrelevant.
Burning bridges ought to at all times be a final resort—as a result of, let’s be sincere: you by no means know when Steve’s skillset could be of use as soon as extra. Who’s to say 2025 received’t deliver a renewed urge for food for plots involving cheerleaders falling for geeks, long-lost equivalent twins, or ‘glow-ups’ to win the center of the soccer captain?
And hey, who is aware of? Possibly there’s some knowledge in these phrases, even when they’re buried underneath layers of dated pop-culture references.
So maybe preserve the landline, however let the “protégée” title fade out with Steve’s cigar cutter.
Remy
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Remy Blumenfeld is a veteran TV producer and founding father of Vitality Guru, which presents enterprise and profession teaching to excessive performers in media. Ship queries to: [email protected].
Questions edited by Sarah Mills.