Hollywood Career Coach’s Advice on Box Office Blues, Midlife Glow-Ups

Assist! I Simply Launched My Masterpiece — and It Obtained Crushed on the Field Workplace By a Cartoon

Expensive Remy,

This week, I launched into the world my biggest work — a movie that transcends mere storytelling. It’s a tour de drive of cinematic mastery, mixing historical texts and philosophical musings with cutting-edge viewers interplay. Think about the vastness of Homer, the mental rigor of Dante, and the cinematic aptitude of Kubrick, however trendy and for the individuals. The movie wrestles with humanity’s darkest wishes — the corrupting nature of energy, the hazard of discovery and, naturally, the existential dread lurking in our souls. I painstakingly crafted every body as if it had been a brushstroke on a canvas meant to be hung within the Louvre. This was not only a film — it was artwork.

And but … one way or the other, the field workplace champion this week is an animated function, full with speaking animals. I’m flummoxed. My movie has been shunned by a populace that prefers brightly coloured pixels over the weighty introspection of my masterwork. I had already deliberate the get together — 9 Jeroboams of Veuve Clicquot able to toast its inevitable ascent to No. 1. As an alternative, I’m left, as soon as once more, ignored. My solely solace is that, maybe a long time from now, my movie will probably be unearthed by a future civilization, who, by then dwelling in dystopian ruins, will lastly grasp the profundity of my work as they watch it on hand-cranked gadgets throughout a poisonous sandstorm.

How do I cope with this grievous insult from a world that can’t admire my imaginative and prescient? Should I, like Van Gogh, await posthumous vindication?

Yours,
A Jaded Genius

Expensive Jaded Genius,

Your ardour on your movie is plain — and sure, your venture sounds … monumental. However maybe you’ve spent so lengthy meticulously crafting this masterpiece that you simply forgot the important thing ingredient in filmmaking: connection. Did that animated function have interaction viewers in a method your opus didn’t? Is it doable that, in your pursuit of profundity, you missed the straightforward pleasure of storytelling?

Overthinking can generally be the enemy of affect. Think about that your viewers is perhaps looking for one thing a bit lighter proper now — much less brooding nihilism, extra speaking birds. What may this train you about brevity and accessibility?

Animated options are, in the primary, easy. And that may be their magnificence. They’ve a singularity of thought that’s each straightforward to observe for his or her target market, however holds magnificence for Mothers and Pops. Then again, you’ve offered an inventory of influences — Dante to Van Gogh — that’s longer than a CVS receipt.

Lastly, these Jeroboams received’t drink themselves. Perhaps invite some mates over, watch that animated function, and remind your self that not all artwork has to alter the world in an effort to be cherished.

Greatest,
Remy

My Husband Simply Glowed Up? Do I Have To, Too?

Expensive Remy,

My husband and I at all times had a pact — we’d develop outdated disgracefully, laughing on the passing of time as we sipped Kristal and recalled the heady, hedonistic nights of the 2000s. We each lived quick, partied onerous, and one way or the other, miraculously, emerged with all our enamel intact and solely a slight softness across the edges. I’ve at all times been OK with that — embracing the “Macramé Scarecrow” look, as I prefer to name it, a patchwork of life’s experiences.

However out of nowhere, my husband blindsided me with a midlife “glow-up.” He was solid in an action-comedy film, and out of the blue, he’s fasting, downing uncooked egg yolks and figuring out with a fervor that’s beginning to scare the neighborhood canine. His aim? To get “reduce” — which I’ve since discovered is the will to have one’s sinews seen, just like the statue of David or an underfed iguana.

I now discover myself standing subsequent to this Adonis, and, actually, I really feel like a crumpled grocery bag flapping within the wind. Whereas he’s out right here bench-pressing his physique weight, I’m considering a second packet of Cheez-Its. Ought to I attempt to glow up too? I’d actually relatively gnaw on a carb.

Yours,
Glow-Regular

Expensive Glow-Regular,

First, let’s admire your capability to embrace the Macramé Scarecrow aesthetic — there’s an artwork to that, and it sounds such as you’ve nailed it. The strain to “sustain” together with your newly sculpted husband is actual, however the determination to glow up ought to be yours and yours alone. In case you’d relatively bask in carbs than cardio, then personal it.

Glow-ups could be exhausting, each bodily and mentally. Ask your self, are you content material in your pores and skin? In that case, why chase one thing that doesn’t really feel genuine? Your glow doesn’t should be exterior. Perhaps you glow greatest from inside — radiating the knowledge and humor you’ve gained from a life well-lived (and well-partied).

The concept a pair have to be coordinated in how they seem is nonsense. You and your husband will not be an identical set of salad tongs from Bergdorf’s — you’re two human beings. Your our bodies ought to serve you as people first, and in case your husband needs to burpee whilst you attain for the Bordeaux, there’s nothing flawed with both alternative.

Your husband could also be chiseled now, however in the long term, it’s the shared laughter and experiences — not the egg yolks — that really bond you.

Greatest,
Remy

My Outdated Writing Accomplice Needs To Reunite: Good Thought or Dangerous?

Expensive Remy,

My outdated writing associate and I had been Hollywood’s dynamic duo, till one fateful day at The Polo Lounge, when an argument obtained out of hand and he launched a shrimp scampi at my head. Sure, we had been younger, risky and aggressive, and our breakup was tabloid-worthy. I’ll always remember the busboy’s face when my associate, in a match of rage, toppled the desk and stormed out.

Quick ahead 10 years, and out of the blue, he’s emailed me, suggesting we reunite. He’s hit onerous instances, and whereas I’ve had success by myself, there’s part of me that wonders if a comeback can be profitable. Might we be the Liam and Noel Gallagher of the writing world? Or would this reunion reignite the outdated tensions that had us brawling over a make-up artist we each had crushes on (who, by the best way, has since left L.A. to start out a wood-turning enterprise in Santa Fe)?

Ought to I reunite with him for outdated instances’ sake, or hold driving solo?

Yours,
Duo Redo?

Expensive Duo Redo?,

Ah, shrimp-throwing at The Polo Lounge — the hallmark of a inventive partnership on hearth. It’s comprehensible that, after such a legendary breakup, a reunion would possibly sound equally electrical. However right here’s the query: what has fueled your success since? Has independence allowed you to thrive, or do you miss the collaborative spark (minus the seafood assault)?

There’s at all times the likelihood that this reunion may reignite the magic — or the insanity. Think about whether or not this partnership would serve you now, or if it’s merely nostalgia calling. Nostalgia is nice, however we nonetheless want to choose and select rigorously the components of the previous we wish to reexperience: ’80s leg heaters and neons? Carry it again. ’80s wooden paneling and aspic? Depart it behind.

So ask your self: Might this collaboration change into a revitalizing chapter, or would it not be like reviving a sitcom that by no means ought to’ve gotten previous its fourth season?

No matter you resolve, keep in mind that your success stands by itself. In case you do workforce up once more, guarantee it’s not for tabloid headlines, however for the inventive synergy you as soon as shared. And maybe hold all seafood properly away from the desk.

Greatest,
Remy

Remy Blumenfeld is a veteran TV producer and founding father of Vitality Guru, which affords enterprise and profession teaching to excessive performers in media. Ship queries to: [email protected].

Questions edited by Sarah Mills.