Good Friday changed St. Veronica. Her example changed my work as a prison chaplain.

For one yr I had the privilege to function the assistant Catholic chaplain at California State Jail-Sacramento, a maximum-security jail, by way of the Jesuit Volunteer Corps. At first, I struggled to discover a succinct approach of expressing what my work as a jail chaplain meant to me by way of my religion. However on Good Friday, as I used to be praying the Stations of the Cross with the individuals contained in the jail, I lastly discovered a becoming picture for my expertise on the sixth station: “Veronica Wipes the Face of Jesus.” 

This station represents the second when Veronica, a lady standing alongside Jesus’ technique to Calvary, was moved with compassion and used her veil to wipe his face. Custom tells us that upon wiping off the filth, blood, sweat and tears that may have definitely coated his face, the material Veronica used then displayed a picture of the face of Christ. Reflecting on this second in Christ’s Ardour took me again to probably the most excellent moments I witnessed in my place.

Along with main Communion providers, working restorative justice applications and providing contemplation and spiritual-reading teams, I often accompanied the full-time Catholic chaplain in delivering demise notices, that’s, informing prisoners that somebody they know on the skin has died. I used to be current at a number of demise notices, however none stood out to me within the profound approach this one did.

The prisoner (whom I’ll name Sam) had misplaced his mom. Dropping a mother or father isn’t simple, however shedding a mother or father whereas in jail might be notably coronary heart wrenching. Sam was housed within the Psychiatric Providers unit, the place prisoners who dedicated guidelines violations and who obtain important mental-health remedy are housed, so a mental-health clinician was additionally current through the demise discover. Additional complicating the scenario was the truth that somebody had knowledgeable Sam of his mom’s demise earlier within the day with out a chaplain or clinician current. Subsequently, Sam had already been struggling this loss on his personal, locked away in his cell, with none assist.

The dialog with Sam was overwhelmingly unhappy. After the chaplain and the clinician had spent a while asking Sam questions on how he felt, about his relationship along with his mom and about what he wanted in that second to grieve in his personal wholesome approach, all of us sat with Sam as he referred to as his sister on the cellphone. She gave her brother extra particulars about their mom’s demise, made certain he was going to be protected and let him know the way a lot she liked him. At one level, I felt my very own coronary heart drop inside me as Sam, with tears in his eyes, requested his sister, “Am I gonna be O.Ok.?”

As one may think, by the point Sam ended his cellphone name along with his sister, his face was soaked with tears—and his nostril was dripping with mucus. However as a result of Sam was housed within the Psychiatric Providers unit, he was required to have his palms cuffed behind his again all through the whole demise discover. Wiping his face on his shoulder solely did a lot, and so, though he desperately wanted a tissue, there was no approach for him to wipe his face himself.

All of the sudden, the chaplain paused, picked up a roll of bathroom paper (which was all we had for tissues), and stated, “I do know it’s a bit unconventional, however would you want me to wash you up a bit?” Sam, in all probability greater than a bit stunned, contemplated the chaplain’s supply for a second, nodded and leaned ahead so the chaplain might attain his face. The chaplain used just a few bunches of bathroom paper to wipe Sam’s eyes, nostril and face. I used to be surprised.

This extraordinarily compassionate gesture had utterly modified the power within the room, reworking it into a spot that felt protected and sacred, a spot the place actual vulnerability was welcome and held. The gesture itself was, because the chaplain put it, “unconventional”—one grown man wiping the moist and snotty face of one other grown man. Nevertheless, the truth that it occurred inside a jail—usually higher identified for isolation or aggression—made it appear all of the rarer.

I proceed to be taught from this second. Like Veronica’s easy but compassionate act, this second of breaking by way of conference to create space for actual vulnerability speaks volumes. Jail is a spot of partitions, each literal and emotional, partitions of feigned invincibility, of machismo (for prisons housing largely males) and of disaffectedness. From what I’ve heard and witnessed, the chapel is likely one of the few locations the place these partitions might be let down. And in my very own expertise as a jail minister, these partitions usually crash down. The particular kind of vulnerability I’ve skilled within the chapels of California State Jail-Sacramento is in contrast to any I’ve skilled on the skin. The tales of and wishes for private authenticity I’ve encountered listed below are unmatched.

As chaplains, we do our greatest to mannequin our actions after Veronica. The compassionate gesture she supplied Jesus definitely didn’t take away the ache and struggling that Jesus endured and that he continued to endure on his technique to Calvary. Nevertheless, it totally acknowledges and affords dignity to the struggling Jesus endures. It has the ability to vary how he suffers. Jesus has skilled in her contact, and in her kindness, true compassion. In that second he doesn’t endure alone. Somebody has seen it, somebody has responded to it—even when in a easy approach. I hope that the chaplain’s gesture created house inside Sam’s personal coronary heart for him to really feel seen, to permit him to be himself whereas in a painful place.

After that encounter, I sought to emulate the gesture of the chaplain and of Veronica in my very own ministry on the jail. In making ready for my yr of service, I watched quite a lot of movies collected on the web site of Catholic Jail Ministries Coalition. In lots of of those movies, presenters would describe jail ministry as a “ministry of presence,” and Veronica’s wiping of Jesus’ face has helped me extra clearly perceive that time period. I’ve discovered that a lot of the efficacy of jail ministry depends upon merely exhibiting up. To pay attention with compassion and empathy is the soul of jail ministry. Subsequently, I might continuously test in with myself: Am I creating an area for individuals to share themselves vulnerably and thereby to ask God into difficult elements of their lives? Am I making house for others and myself to inhabit ourselves extra truthfully and authentically, even when doing so presents challenges? If I couldn’t reply these questions affirmatively, I discovered I used to be selfishly serving myself quite than the individuals I claimed to serve.

The affect of the encounter between the chaplain and Sam additionally adopted me in my life exterior of the jail. I proceed to hunt moments that stretch me into vulnerability and authenticity, and I now every day problem myself to let others assist me and see me for the entire particular person I’m, together with the elements of me that maintain ache. I let others wipe my face, so to talk. 

I don’t consider I actually discovered the best way to be weak and genuine till I started jail ministry. Prior to now, I extra usually felt pressured in religion circles to reach clear, pure and holy quite than to just accept and work by way of the laborious elements of myself. I used to be inspired day-after-day by most of the individuals to whom I ministered within the jail—individuals who modeled vulnerability and truthfully strove to stay into their very own goodness—to step into my very own authenticity by sharing myself and my story with others.

Simply as Veronica obtained the true picture of Jesus upon extending her compassion to the struggling God, so I consider my very own time in jail ministry has modified me. It has imprinted upon me God’s distinctive picture, that’s, the picture of an incomprehensibly huge God who’s with those that endure most. It has made my very own coronary heart extra spacious. The distinctive vulnerability of the individuals I encountered inside a California jail has helped me to change into extra compassionate, extra weak and extra really myself.