Assist! Now That I’m a Dad, I’m Having Bother Leaping Throughout Buildings
Expensive Remy,
I’ve been a stunt performer for 20 years, and nothing compares to the fun of freefalling off a cliff or racing via a burning constructing. However final month, my profession confronted its largest problem but: I grew to become a father.
My daughter was much-wanted, and I had all these wild goals of instructing her stunts when she bought older. I even appeared up toddler trapeze lessons. My spouse thought I used to be nuts.
However the second she arrived, every part modified. She’s so tiny, so fragile, and all of a sudden, all I need to do is defend her. I was fearless, however now I can’t even take into consideration doing the stunts I as soon as liked.
I haven’t been again to work, despite the fact that my paternity go away ended two weeks in the past. I’ve been ghosting my agent, too. For the primary time, I’m seeing myself as flesh and bone, and I can’t danger getting damage. However I would like to supply for my household, and my spouse’s on my case to snap out of it.
Assist me out,
Stunt Double in Bother
(Despatched second-class mail as a result of why does every part have to be so fast?!)
Expensive Stunt Double in Bother,
First off, congratulations on changing into a father! It appears like your infant has already pulled off the best stunt of all—flipping your life the wrong way up.
So, what’s actually modified? You’ve spent a long time defying gravity, embracing hazard, and pushing your limits. Now, with a brand new life relying on you, these limits are all of a sudden extra actual. However what if this shift isn’t about shedding your edge, however redefining what bravery means to you?
You talked about wanting to guard your daughter, and that intuition is highly effective. However what if defending her isn’t nearly staying protected, but in addition exhibiting her learn how to stay totally—even with concern within the combine? How may you steadiness the have to be there for her with the drive to proceed doing what you like? You will be protecting and a daredevil—assume extra Liam Neeson in ‘Taken,’ much less Marlin from ‘Discovering Nemo.‘
Image your self in your stunt gear, able to tackle a problem, together with your daughter watching. What would you like her to see? Somebody who’s fearless, or somebody who’s brave regardless of concern.
You’ve taken on numerous bodily challenges—might this be the psychological and emotional problem you didn’t see coming? And will the knowledge that comes with fatherhood truly make you a greater, smarter stuntman?
Lastly, what wouldn’t it seem like to ease again into work at a tempo that feels proper? Perhaps some stumbles and pratfalls to begin with, and work your means as much as the odd ravine vault?
You’ve bought so much to juggle, however generally the bravest factor isn’t to leap—it’s to pause.
Take it one step at a time,
Remy
Illustration by Russ Tudor
I’m a Script Physician With a Profession That Wants Fixing
Expensive Remy,
Ever heard of a script physician? We’re those who swoop in when a script’s in hassle, patching up plot holes, fixing timelines, making every part click on. And it’s about as glamorous as stitching up a tire.
I do know this as a result of I’m one. And I hate it.
I began out in my 20s engaged on ‘locked room’ mysteries. I had a knack for untangling complicated tales, and earlier than I knew it, I grew to become Hollywood’s go-to fixer. However this wasn’t the dream. I wished to be the one with “Created by [name redacted]” on the finish of the credit, not the ghost within the machine who makes another person’s imaginative and prescient work.
Now, I watch youthful writers get their massive breaks whereas I’m introduced in final minute to save lots of the day, usually and not using a credit score. The world is passing me by, and I’m left questioning—ought to I push for my goals, or ought to I be content material with the (admittedly profitable) area of interest I’ve carved out?
Yours,
Doct-ugh
Expensive Doct-ugh,
You’re the one who fixes the unsolvable, however now you’re grappling with your individual plot twist. How did you find yourself because the script physician moderately than the creator? And extra importantly, the place do you go from right here?
Let’s begin with this: You’re insanely proficient at one thing most writers discover daunting. Does this really feel like a blessing or a detour out of your true calling? It sounds such as you’re torn between monetary safety and artistic achievement. Have you ever thought of redefining success? What if it’s not nearly recognition, but in addition in regards to the pleasure of making—whether or not it’s your individual work or saving another person’s?
Luck performs a giant position on this trade, and generally, we find yourself excelling the place we least count on it. However what if the script physician and the creator might coexist? Maybe your knack for fixing story issues is the key weapon that helps you create one thing solely your individual. Might it’s the sting it’s worthwhile to craft your masterpiece? Is there a approach to steadiness each, or have they got to be mutually unique?
Visualize the credit rolling in your dream venture—“Created by [name redacted]” in daring—maybe with a rousing closing tune reaching its crescendo as your identify lands on display. Now, take into consideration the trail that will get you there. What steps will you’re taking? What dangers are you prepared to embrace?
You’re at a crossroads, however keep in mind, the very best tales aren’t solved by following a straight line. Typically, it’s the surprising twists that result in probably the most satisfying endings.
Right here’s to crafting your individual story,
Remy
I Caught My Agent in a Compromising Place — And Now He’s Being Bizarre
Expensive Remy,
I’m an actor who’s lastly breaking via, touchdown some first rate roles. Life was good—till lately. I’m additionally homosexual, although I haven’t performed a homosexual character on display but. Earlier this summer time, I made a decision to unwind with a weekend in Provincetown, a spot identified for its seashore, leisure, and, effectively, vibrant environment.
However then issues took a flip. Whereas strolling alongside the dunes, I stumbled upon my agent… in a compromising state of affairs with a few guys. I believed I used to be unshockable, however I admit, I used to be just a little rattled. Earlier than he noticed me, I ducked out—no awkward confrontation, no mess.
The weekend ended, and I figured I used to be within the clear. However at our assembly this week, his entire vibe was off. He was chilly, distant—like he was coping with a complete stranger, not somebody whose profession he’s alleged to be constructing.
Did he see me and now he’s weirded out? Is he embarrassed? Does he assume I’m going to carry it in opposition to him? I don’t need to make it worse, however I additionally don’t need this to mess up my profession. How do I deal with this?
Sincerely,
Provincetown Peeping Tom
Expensive Provincetown Peeping Tom,
Ah, Provincetown—a spot the place you go for a calming weekend and find yourself in a scene straight out of a dramedy. You dealt with your beachside discovery with the finesse of an actor dodging the paparazzi, however it appears that evidently unscripted second is now casting a shadow in your skilled life.
Visualize your subsequent encounter: the air is evident, the strain is gone, and also you’re again to being a dynamic duo. What are you able to do to make that occur?
Let’s take into account this: what for those who defuse the state of affairs with a little bit of humor and honesty? It’s doable your agent did spot you, and now he’s in his personal head, questioning for those who’re judging him. You can clear the air with a lighthearted method—point out your Provincetown journey casually in your subsequent assembly, perhaps even throw in a playful wink. It might sign that you simply’re not holding it in opposition to him, and that you simply’re prepared to maneuver on.
If that feels too daring, deal with reaffirming your skilled relationship. Remind him how a lot you worth his work. Typically, just a little reassurance can thaw even the iciest vibes.
Right here’s to protecting issues skilled—and perhaps including just a little playful aptitude,
Remy
***
Remy Blumenfeld is a veteran TV producer and founding father of Vitality Guru, which provides enterprise and profession teaching to excessive performers in media. Ship queries to: [email protected].
Questions edited by Sarah Mills.