“WWE SmackDown” didn’t heavily advertise its stop at the Enterprise Center in St. Louis, and for good reason. Somehow, the company has managed to make the build to WrestleMania 42 worse as the big show gets closer.
It’s almost impressive. So, let’s talk about what happened.
Advertisement
Orton opens red hot — only to be iced out by … McAfee?!
A few weeks ago, “WWE Raw” delivered one of the worst opening segments in recent memory with Seth Rollins’ 20-man whirlpool. Believe it or not, WWE actually managed to top it Friday night in all-time fashion.
I’ll have to give Paul Levesque some leeway on this one, as PW Insider has reported that what we saw was a product of TKO higher-ups overruling the creative team, thanks to the company’s ESPN partnership.
Randy Orton unsurprisingly had St. Louis in the palm of his hand from the jump, teasing a record-extending 15th world title reign while doing his best to toe the heel line without actually losing the crowd. The latter wasn’t his goal, but the man’s hometown was hot for “The Viper.” He could do no wrong on the mic, as usual. Even when he tried to devalue the fans.
Advertisement
The premise was simple and effective: Orton is fully embracing “The Viper” against Cody Rhodes, with mutual respect slowly turning volatile. He reminded viewers Rhodes had given him permission to channel his inner dark side — and now it can’t be undone.
All quality of the highest order. Then it got … WWE’d.
A pull-apart brawl was expected after Rhodes made his entrance straight to the ring with zero flash. The crowd expectedly booed the champion in enemy territory. But what wasn’t expected was Pat freakin’ McAfee to be revealed as the mystery man on the phone with Orton since his initial attack on Rhodes.
Advertisement
The moment of McAfee’s arrival was equally confusing as it was pathetically disappointing. He hit Rhodes with a low blow, then did his best nWo promo, failing to land with any impact as part of … let me check the notes … A WORLD TITLE PROGRAM.
This. Is. Desperation.
Celebrity involvement once again entirely derails a WrestleMania main event-caliber feud. WWE can’t get out of its own way at this point, and it doesn’t care to. And why should it? They’re a made company. But in no (expletive) world should Jelly Roll or McAfee be fitting into a storyline with 20 years of history to play with between its key contributors.
Advertisement
This is a pattern and it needs to be made clear: WWE is forcing celebrity involvement into major storylines that don’t need it. The Attitude Era callback and meta verbiage from McAfee was admittedly solid. The execution and timing of any of this? Not even close. Orton looks like an absolute doofus by literally calling on the aid of a podcaster.
To Rhodes’ credit, he did everything possible to clean up the mess later in the night.
Calling McAfee the equivalent of “if Disco Inferno joined the nWo instead of Hulk Hogan” was exactly the kind of pointed, self-aware jab this needed. Even better was the subtle nod to his own past, questioning whether WWE would fire him again and how that worked out the last time.
Advertisement
It was sharp. It was honest. And it felt like Rhodes speaking for a lot of the audience.
Don’t get me wrong. It doesn’t at all undo the opener — but it definitely helped.
A classic case of triple trouble
The U.S. title picture involving Sami Zayn, Trick Williams and Carmelo Hayes has all the right pieces — even if it took a while to get there.
Williams (with Lil Yachty in tow) leaned heavily into the WWE’s aforementioned fixation on “moments” and viral beats. Hayes played the bitter ex-champ role to perfection, using his time in the sun to add a layer that best fit the title picture. Zayn, as usual, grounded everything with credibility, as he typically has tried to.
Advertisement
The segment dragged — no way around it — but the outcome was clear: We have to be heading toward a triple threat at WrestleMania.
Hayes nearly wiggled his way into stealing Zayn’s spot as the champion, however Zayn defeated Hayes in a strong rematch later in the night. The finish, though interference-free, raised some eyebrows. A Helluva Kick on a compromised Hayes isn’t exactly babyface behavior, hinting at a possible edge shift for Zayn moving forward. And that’s much needed, as he was booed plenty. He’s a tired act, to put it bluntly, especially compared to two dudes who drip charisma.
In the end, Williams stood tall when he nailed Zayn with a Trick Shot. Signs of the future, folks.
👑 Uncrowned Gem of the Night 👑
Danhausen has been an absolute godsend for this company. He’s on every show and singlehandedly saved this “SmackDown” from being the ultimate dud.
Advertisement
What should have been a standard tag title match involving The Miz, Kit Wilson, Damian Priest and R-Truth turned into pure chaos once Danhausen showed up.
The vampire teased interactions with the heel squad earlier in the night, requesting to help out. He played his part, but wasn’t met with kindness from Miz. From attempting to tag himself in, to accidentally cursing the referee mid-match, Danhausen triggered WWE to dig deep into that ever-so-hidden bag of creativity for one of the most absurdly perfect near-falls you’ll ever see. It was complete nonsense in the best way.
The referee’s hand cramping during the Miz’s near title-winning pinfall on Truth was the kind of ridiculous payoff that made the whole thing land. Toss in Priest cleaning things up for the win right after, as you’d expect, and you have the most unexpectedly entertaining match of the night.
Advertisement
I dare say, it was actually perfect for what it was.
That being said, the force-feeding of celebrities into the top two major men’s title storylines on this brand was too much to get over. I give this show a crown score of: 👑 2/10 👑
WWE SmackDown full card results and grades:
-
U.S. Championship: Sami Zayn (c.) def. Carmelo Hayes — 👑 3.75/5 👑
-
WWE Tag Team Championship: R-Truth & Damian Priest (c.) def. The Miz & Kit Wilson — 👑 4/5 👑
-
Charlotte Flair & Alexa Bliss def. Bayley & Lyra Valkyria — 👑 3.5/5 👑
-
Aleister Black def. Matt Cardona — 👑 1.75/5 👑
-
Uncle Howdy def. Tama Tonga — 👑 1/5 👑
-
Rhea Ripley def. Michin — Ripley, 👑 2.5/5 👑
Recap “WWE SmackDown” with Uncrowned’s live blog:
-
Drake Riggs
-
Drake Riggs
-
Drake Riggs
In the end, Williams stands tall by hitting a Trick Shot on Zayn. Hey, we’re all the way here for that, as is St. Louis. An interesting way to end SmackDown, nonetheless.
-
Drake Riggs
Hayes counters a Blue Thunder Bomb with First 48! He goes up top! The Nothing But Net misses! Hayes moves toward the corner, favoring his knee. The ref checks on Hayes, and Zayn hits the Helluva Kick regardless! He gets the win. Zayn being forced into heel status, maybe? Another solid effort from both.
👑 Crown score: 3.75/5 👑
-
Drake Riggs
A massive Dirty Diana from Hayes plants him right atop Zayn. That was gorgeous. The man soared around his opponent. Zayn still kicks out at two. Hayes seeks First 48, but Zayn fights it off to seek an Exploder. Hayes counters with a failed roll-up pin. Hayes gets hit with the Exploder regardless. The fans boo as the Helluva gets set up, only to take a Super Kick counter. Hayes lands a big Frog Splash, but Zayn counters with a nice two-count pin.
-
Drake Riggs
Zayn retakes control by chopping at Hayes to the mat. Forearm strikes follow. The fans are very anti-Zayn tonight, who takes another chop and goes to the corner. He kicks Hayes away to set up a tornado DDT. Back in the corner, Zayn chops again before they trade forearms. Zayn gets the better of the exchange, chopping and stomping at Hayes.
-
Drake Riggs
These two get off to the expected high pace before a big Clothesline from Zayn is met with loud “Sami sucks” chants. Didn’t see that coming. Hayes springboards off the ropes for a flying Clothesline and then sets up a teetering springboard leg drop. Zayn kicks out and one and rolls right out of the ring. A big dive over the ropes onto Zayn leads to Hayes playing up a knee injury. It looks like a work, judging by how everyone is reacting.
He gets back in the ring to chop Zayn while hobbling around the ring.
-
Drake Riggs
And no surprise, Williams is out ringside
-
Drake Riggs
Main event time. Sami Zayn looks to successfully defend his U.S. title against the man he took it from, Carmelo Hayes. I will be stunned if this doesn’t lead to a triple threat match at WrestleMania. I’m all for Williams going one-on-one with Zayn, but having all three in the ring earlier felt like clear foresight.
-
Drake Riggs
-
Drake Riggs
Rhodes hits Wilson with a Cross Rhodes before going scorched Earth on McAfee. He compared McAfee to if Disco Inferno joined nWo. He makes a nod to AEW by asking whether WWE would fire him and how that worked out so well last time. Rhodes pretty much spoke for the fans in my seat, who found that opener to be atrocious. Overall, excellently delivered and great digs from Rhodes.
I still wish WWE didn’t stoop to this unnecessary level. But a good promo is a good promo.
-
Drake Riggs
-
Drake Riggs
Danhausen gets in Miz’s corner to ask for a tag despite not being in the match. Miz thinks about it, then screams at Danhausen to leave. Miz argues with the referee, and Truth instead tags in Danhausen. Not actually, but yeah. Full comedy match activated. Danhausen accidentally curses the referee after Miz pulls him in front of him. Meanwhile, Truth hits an AA Wilson, followed by a Skull Crushing Finale on Truth! The referee’s hand cramps mid-pin! Incredible. Priest tags in and hits South of Heaven for the win.
OK. Well done, WWE. That was hilariously brilliant.
👑 Crown score: 4/5 👑
-
Drake Riggs
Truth finds the hot tag to Priest. He instantly starts destroying the challengers with move-after-move. Miz ends up taking an Old School Cross Body. This is the only time Priest has been in the match. He nails Miz with a big Clothesline, but Wilson breaks it up and takes a big spinning kick. He tags in Truth, while Priest keeps on Wilson outside. Truth and Miz Clothesline each other and fall — as Danhausen makes his entrance to a solid pop. You love to see it.
-
Drake Riggs
Wilson attacks Truth from behind as soon as the match starts. A European uppercut in his corner leads to a tag-in for Miz. Truth rallies instantly with running shoulder blocks to set up the five moves of doom. Miz kicks Truth in the forehead to avoid the Five-Knuckle Shuffle. Outside the ring, Wilson nails Truth with a huge running uppercut. That was solid contact.
-
Drake Riggs
So this match came together earlier tonight, essentially off the back of Danhausen’s curses — and R-Truth being R-Truth. The state of this tag division has descended all by WWE’s choice. But at least all involved are pretty entertaining in their own ways. The real question, unfortunately, is whether or not Jelly Roll appears.
-
Drake Riggs
-
Drake Riggs
Bayley hoists up Flair in a Samoan Drop position, as Valkyria goes for the neck, like a modified assisted Blockbuster. Flair kicks out, as Valkyria goes for a top rope Codebreaker that gets countered with the Figure-8! Bayley drops an elbow to break it up. Bliss returns for a drop kick on Bayley. Bliss goes back up top to attack Valkyria, but gets caught. Bliss reverses to set up the Sister Abigail DDT. Bayley prevents it, but the former tag champs find the double Natural Selection for the win! That was a great finishing sequence. Thank you, WWE.
And even better, at least — and I mean at least — Lash Legend and Nia Jax attacked after the match,
👑 Crown score: 3.5/5 👑
-
Drake Riggs
The former tag team champions are firmly in the driver’s seat. Valkyria is taking all the offense. She finds herself in a particularly odd move that looks like a flipping upside-down Devil’s Kiss.
Bliss tags in to hit the handspring knee drop. She tags Flair back in, who halts Bayley’s hot tag by grabbing the leg. Valkyria fights back, eventually launching off the corner for a Cross Body to make the tag to Bayley, who goes after Flair and lands a gnarly German Suplex. Flair gets positioned in the corner and is hit with a double knee drop before a Sunset Flip. Flair escapes the pin with a hand on the rope.
Bayley starts to climb for the diving elbow drop. Flair follows to halt the move and pursue a Superplex. Valkyria hangs onto her teammate, and Flair goes flying, which allows Bayley to deliver the diving elbow drop. Flair kicks out at two,
-
Drake Riggs
Tag team time. I want to get excited for this match, but every match that’s been a part of this storyline has ended with absolutely awful DQs or no-contest non-finishes.