Glanville: The Halloween I dressed as myself

One Halloween, the trick was on me.

It occurred in 2011, at a fancy dress competitors in Raleigh, North Carolina, the place I used to be dwelling on the time. It wasn’t the Fall Traditional I had hoped for throughout my taking part in days, however 5 years after retirement from baseball, it was sufficient to get the juices flowing. It may have been Yankee Stadium, despite the fact that it was actually a cheerful hour spot within the Analysis Triangle.

Halloween has lengthy been an enormous deal to my household. Rising up, my brother reveled in what I known as “Hack-A-Thon” motion pictures as his apprenticeship to horror costumes. These B-movies would slash their means into characters he may make use of to scare unwitting kids who dared to stroll as much as our door.

My spouse is great at stitching costumes, and Halloween is without doubt one of the instances her expertise takes heart stage.

Certain sufficient, at this costume competitors, she was on the prime of her sport. She was pregnant and displaying, so she’d determined to decorate as a witch, standing behind her cauldron. She wrapped black materials round her stomach to be the cauldron and accented her look with metallic witch-like colours — shimmering purples and greens. Absolutely a fancy dress with a witch exploding round a cauldron would earn some votes.

Me? In a last-minute second of inspiration, I made a decision … to go as myself. The baseball participant. In a minor protest of taking part in within the steroid period, although, I made a decision to juice up plain previous Doug Glanville a bit. So, I dug up my previous Texas Rangers uniform, stuffed my physique with T-shirts and garments so as to add muscle, and added some props, together with faux complement drugs in an enormous white plastic bottle labeled “BIGGUN” — the affectionate identify Jim Thome would use to greet me and his different teammates.

“Hey, Biggun!”

Then I went to Kinko’s, photocopied my baseball card from Texas, blew it up, and put a rope via it so I may put on it round my neck. I crossed off sure stats and doctored the numbers. I raised my dwelling runs by roughly 75 per 12 months, and all my different key energy numbers, too, making Barry Bonds’ stats appear like he bunted each single at-bat of his profession.

The ultimate piece: plastic syringes protruding of my physique at numerous factors. It was humorous, but in addition an expression of a few of the actual frustration I’ve over what PEDs did to baseball. I performed within the coronary heart of that period and I used to be surrounded by ghosts. I used to be by no means certain who was enhanced and who was not. I by no means knew who was actual and who wasn’t.

The venue was filled with contestants. At numerous moments, folks stopped me to pay their respects to my outfit. However this is the place the trick half begins: Not certainly one of them knew I used to be dressed as myself.

Finally, somebody requested if I used to be a fan of Doug Glanville’s, which after all I mentioned I used to be. When somebody went so far as to inform me, “You look so much like Doug Glanville,” I mentioned I used to be his cousin. Nonetheless, he questioned, why hadn’t I dressed as a star participant if I might actually needed to win?

However, when the time got here to announce the winners, I took first place within the “Sports activities” class, and the spoils have been legit: a $200 reward card, which I accepted enthusiastically. Then the post-trophy questions began coming.

Why did you choose this explicit participant and theme? Wait, who’re you, actually?

I made a decision to come back clear and admit the reality: “Sure, I’m really Doug Glanville.”

And to my shock … nobody believed me.

Nobody.

It was solely once we have been leaving the social gathering, strolling towards the parking zone, that I turned a doubter into my first believer.

I confirmed him my driver’s license. And nonetheless, he did not imagine me.

Then my spouse confirmed him her driver’s license. “Now,” she requested, “would we go this far?”

I suppose being nameless was one thing I craved at completely different instances throughout my taking part in days. However I additionally did not need to be forgotten. A typical retired baseball participant’s conundrum: We need to play the trick and get the deal with.

At any fee, I may all the time blame the costume.

Usually, I miss lots of the Halloween festivities as a result of I’m overlaying baseball’s annual Fall Traditional for ESPN. However this 12 months, with a journey day within the World Collection schedule, you would possibly see me strolling the streets of Connecticut. I may be one a part of my spouse’s medley of “Inside Out” characters: Envy, Unhappiness, Ennui, Boredom, Nostalgia, Anger.

(And if that does not work out, due to the problem of herding 4 children ages 8 to 16 with various levels of Halloween curiosity, I would find yourself as Bass Reeves or a personality from Tron.)

It will likely be a deal with. Do not be shy to say good day. And when you do not acknowledge me, effectively, that is OK, too.